


NGE: THE PHANTOM PAIN

by RealityJones



Series: The Man Who Sold the World [1]
Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amputation, Body Horror, Character Development, Developing Relationship, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied Sexual Content, Injury Recovery, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:34:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 55,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23457913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RealityJones/pseuds/RealityJones
Summary: After the mission at Mount Asama goes awry, Shinji is injured saving Asuka. He falls into shock and a seizure and is rushed to the urgent care unit of NERV Headquarters. After two and a half weeks Shinji Ikari awakes from his coma.
Relationships: Akagi Ritsuko & Katsuragi Misato, Akagi Ritsuko/Ibuki Maya, Ayanami Rei & Ikari Shinji, Ayanami Rei/Suzuhara Touji, Horaki Hikari & Souryuu Asuka Langley, Horaki Hikari/Suzuhara Touji, Ikari Shinji & Katsuragi Misato, Ikari Shinji & Souryuu Asuka Langley, Ikari Shinji & Suzuhara Touji, Ikari Shinji/Souryuu Asuka Langley, Kaji Ryouji & Souryuu Asuka Langley
Series: The Man Who Sold the World [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1858537
Comments: 26
Kudos: 142





	1. AWAKENING

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic, and I'll try to write in character as much as possible. This is based off an idea I have had for a while now of Episode 10: Magma Diver where if Shinji had plunged his arm into the lava it is critically injured and he needs it removed. Aside from that, I love the beginning of the game Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain, which you should watch on youtube if you want a better visual of what is going on. Anyways, if you enjoy let me know! And if you don't, I wouldn't mind POLITE constructive criticism!  
> P.S. this is spoken dialog ----> "MudamudamudaOraoraora"  
> while this is inner thoughts ----> 'Yare yare daze'

CHAPTER 1: AWAKENING

Darkness. That is what Shinji Ikari saw this time.  _ ‘What’s going on now? What am I going to see when I open my eyes?’ _

Shinji tried to open his eyes. They lifted slightly, letting in a little bit of light, but the little bit that shone in through his lids was enough to force eyes shut again with a very quiet grunt. He slowly turned his head to the left and right to attempt to adjust to a darker lighting and instead found the same amount of light on both sides.

‘ _ Why is it so bright…? It always felt so dark… What’s going on…?’ _ Shinji asked himself, which he would have done out loud had it not been for his inability to move his jaw at that moment.

At that moment, Shinji realized he was hearing something familiar somewhere on his right side. ‘ _ What is that? Is that… is that my SDAT?’ _

Shinji started to blink as his eyes adjusted to the lights in the room. ‘ _ An unfamiliar blur…’  _ Was all he could think as his vision continued to return a mix of white, gray, and-

_ ‘Blue? Is that… Rei?’ _ Shinji questioned himself as Rei Ayanami leaned over him to change the IV bag. Normally, when a male is awoken and finds a female’s chest in his face, he usually begins to desire a certain touch. Shinji, however, wasn’t a normal male and this wasn’t a usual case for him. All Shinji could think was ‘ _ She’s still wearing her school uniform _ ’ while staring at the red bow she wore around the collar of her shirt.

‘ _ Why is she here? I thought…’  _ Shinji thought while trying to open his mouth with difficulty. ‘ _ Why is this so hard? Why is it so difficult to say ‘hi’? I…’  _ Shinji began to panic as Rei stood straight and checked her wrist. It took Shinji a moment for his eyes to adjust further to see that she had checked her watch. He heard her sigh and begin to turn around. ‘ _ Rei! Wait! Please! Don’t leave me, please!’.  _ Shinji attempted to lift his right hand to grab her’s, but it wasn’t listening. Shinji desperately kept trying to speak, but to no avail. His body wouldn’t listen, and it was annoying. Shinji had never felt so hopeless before.

He knew that if he didn’t get Rei’s attention soon, he would be alone. ‘I’ll be abandoned again… just like father…’, Shinji though with disparity, and fought violently within his mind to at least  **move** . After a moment he realized that Rei was already at what he believed to be the door to his room as her colours began to meld with the blur at the back of the room. 

Hopeless, he looked up at the fuzzy ceiling and made an all-too-familiar observation. ‘Another unfamiliar ceiling’. He felt a soft sting on his right cheek, and felt a cooling chill run down his face to his ear. ‘Where are you now’ Shinji thought, finishing with one unintentionally spoken word.

“Mom?”

  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Misato Katsuragi sat at her desk motionless. She held a pen in her hand ready to file the many pieces of paperwork on her desk from the last mission before she realized just what all this would entail.

“Shinji…” Misato managed to say inaudibly. She sat for a few more moments before she placed the pen down slowly onto the smallest stack of papers. She hadn’t commanded her hand to do that. ‘Wouldn’t be the only thing that didn’t follow orders’ She thought with a hint of malice. Immediately, she regretted the implication of the thought.

Shinji made the right decision, everyone can agree on that. You can’t really punish someone for saving someone else’s life, can you? No, that is immoral. Shinji made the right decision and saved Asuka’s life, there was nothing wrong that he did, nobody could be angry at him for that.

‘Except for his father.’ Misato shot back with a large amount of malice. She stared at her right hand. It was shaking.

“Here, you look like you could use this.” the voice behind Misato said, pulling her out of her daze.

“Huh?” She began before a cigarette was pushed into her palm. The owner of the voice walked over to their desk and started digging through the various drawers within.

“What?” Misato continued, a look of confusion betraying her usual facade.

Ritsuko Akagi sighed. “You look like you need to unwind, and I have an extra pack somewhere around here…” she trailed off. Her slight smirk quickly turned to a frustrated frown as her usual cigarette folder was empty. “Er, well we’ll share it.” Ritsuko continued with a small smile while she unpocketed her lighter.

“I-I’m good, Rits,” Misato began, putting up her usual smile and cheery attitude, “I’m just a bit overwhelmed at all this work I need to do.” She finished widening her smile. To her she could fool anyone that didn’t know her too well which was admittedly a lot of people.

Though, in all actuality, it was obvious, at least to Ritsuko, that she was straining to put up her defences. “Misato, I’m giving you a cigarette because it is obvious you need some way to relax. You know what Kaji would say, right?”

Misato looked away and frowned, “He’d try to seduce one or both of us…” her voice a fading pout.

“Oh, I don’t doubt that, Misato. But you know why he would.” Ritsuko added. She tilted her head slightly and gave a soft smile to her friend, which was reciprocated when Misato turned her head back to Ritsuko.

“Yeah, I know. But I also know he isn’t here right now,” Misato turned the cigarette in her hand and focused on it with intent, “but you are here…” Misato continued more to herself and the cigarette than Ritsuko.

“Well, here.” Ritsuko motioned the lighter towards Misatio’s face. Misato put the cigarette in her mouth and let it be lit for her. She took a long, slow drag and sat back in her chair. She held her breath for a while, then released it in a long sigh as Ritsuko took the lit cigarette and pulled a breath through it.

“Better?” Ritsuko asked. Misato responded with only a nod and a soft smile.

“He could come to any day now. We need to be ready for it.” Ritsuko pushed. She knew this next part wouldn’t be easy, and she had to be prepared for it to go south quickly. Misato froze and her hand started to tremor. ‘Shit, where’s Kaji when you need him?’ Ritsuko thought as she began to try to form a plan to diffuse the delicate subject matter. She knew Misato was trying not to think about it, but she also knew Misato  **needed** to think about it. Shinji could quite possibly awake at any moment and if he found out about his condition by himself, he could go into shock and that could be fatal.’

“Listen, I know you don’t want to talk about this or even think about this right now, but you know we have to, Misato.” Ritsuko sighed and shot a concerned look. Misato looked down and responded quietly, “No, not now. I… I can’t do this now.”

“Better sooner rather than later, Misato.” 

Misato sat in her seat for a while, staring at her right hand. She studied every line, every contour that defines her hand from others. She was engrossed, so engrossed she didn’t hear her desk phone ring. She only realised that there was a phone call after Ritsuko slammed the phone into the receiver and was grabbed by the wrist and yanked out of her chair as Ritsuko burst into a full sprint towards the door. Misato could guess what this was about, and tried to keep up.

  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rei Ayanami placed the phone back into the receiver on the wall. She looked back through the door to Shinji’s room and saw him looking around the room intently. 

‘Or is that fear? What is he looking for?’ She started towards Shinji. “How are you feeling Shinji?” Rei asked as she sat down in one of the two open seats next to Shinji’s bed.

Shinji looked over towards Rei with a look of worry, “What?”

“Shinji, I asked you how you are feeling?” Rei responded calmly. Keeping him as calm as possible was her primary objective at this time. To do this, she needed to keep his eyes on her and not-

“Oh, I-I um, I guess,” Shinji eyed his surroundings nervously, “I mean, I am in the hospital after…” Shinji trailed off as his eyes began to lower. Rei felt her body stiffen and blurted out “Yes you are in the hospital at the NERV Headquarters in the Geofront. You were injured last mission and suffered from a seizure and subsequently a coma-”

“W-wait what?!?” Shinji shouted wide-eyed, trying to sit up. Rei quickly stood and lightly pushed on his chest to lay him down and make sure he stayed that way.

“Yes. You were injured, but you are fine now. The main question you must be wondering is how long you have been in a coma, yes?” Rei paused for an answer to which Shinji simply nodded. “You have been in a coma for less than three weeks.” Rei braced herself for Shinji to begin to struggle.

Instead, Shinji remained on his back with no attempt to sit up. “Oh, ok.” Shinji responded monotonously, Rei noted that he did in-fact seem calm. She felt her heart increase in speed. He seemed to calm. 

“Excuse me, Shinji, but-” Rei paused a moment in an attempt to calculate the best way to ask Shinji if he remembered what happened at Mount Asama. She got an out however just as Shinji was asking her to continue as Ritsuko and Misato burst into the room.

Rei stepped back as Misato sprang forward, “SHINJI!” Misato yelled with glee, “you’re awake!” Shinji was lifted up in the encapsulating hug Misato gave him. Rei noticed a look of fear in his eyes before she noticed the smile. ‘He can’t move his arms and he knows it. He knows something is wrong.’ Rei pondered her observation for a moment, ‘Maybe this is better? Maybe if he figured this out himself, it would be best…?’ Rei looked down, feeling a burning behind her eyes and her throat start to close. ‘I need to leave.’

Rei turned and quickly walked out into the hall.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shinji glanced at the clock at the top of the wall opposite from him. ‘It’s getting late.’ He watched the second hand pass slowly around the clock. ‘Hand. I can still feel it burning.’

Shinji remembered in his -dream? Coma?- what his hand had felt like. He still couldn’t lift either of his arms yet, he felt too weak to do so. He also didn’t feel like lifting his head up enough to try to see what had happened to his arm. So, he decided to try to remember what had happened at Mount Asama.

He remembered Asuka in the volcano, helpless. He remembered reaching down for her, but ‘Wait, that couldn’t have been right. No human can survive swimming in lava…’ Shinji corrected himself. But he couldn’t think of it any other way. Asuka was about to drown in the magma and he plunged his arm in to grab her and pull her out. Suddenly, the images of one of his nightmares(?) flashed through his mind and he felt the pain increase throughout his arm as the most prominent though was burned into his mind.

He reached down for Asuka’s hand as she went under and felt the burning throughout his hand and arm, but what he felt and saw next were worse. Asuka sprang out, with her forearm melting around Shinji’s. “You will never feel complete without me.” Then, Asuka’s melting flesh glowed red-white hot and pierced his arm. The pain was great, but what was worse was that he felt her slither through, crawling her way towards his heart. She stopped though, right at the elbow. 

It wasn’t the pain that was bothering him, it wasn’t the fact he had a seizure and ended up comatose. It wasn’t the inability to move and difficulty to feel his limbs either.

What bothered him most was the fact that he could still feel her slithering in his arm. She was cold.


	2. CHAPTER 2: REALIZATION

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after Shinji awakes from his coma, he discovers the true nature of his condition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before I get any further, I want to go ahead and state *I OWN NONE OF THESE CHARACTERS OR TITLES EXPRESSED HERE NOR DO I CLAIM TO OWN NEON GENESIS EVANGELION AND ITS CHARACTERS*   
> Now that we have that out of the way, I hope you enjoy the chapter! If you enjoyed it, please consider giving some Kudos and commenting some CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM to help improve further chapters!

CHAPTER 2: REALIZATION

Shinji looked up at the ceiling again. ‘It’s still the same.’ he thought as he looked across the room towards the clock. It was 9:38 in the morning, and a very long night.

Shinji hadn’t slept, his arm was still burning. That wasn’t all that was bothering his sleep, either. He was also starting to remember other nightmares as well, aside from pulling Asuka out of the volcano. He remembered U-

Misato yawned loudly and stretched out in one of the visitor chairs that were available. She sat up and rubbed her lower back. ‘There is an open bed over there… Why didn’t she use it?’ Shinji wondered. Misato never asked to use the bed, rather she stayed in the chair and opted to curl up into a ball with her head on one of the arm rests. “U-uhm, good morning, Misato.”

Misato seemed to jump slightly at his greeting and grimaced slightly, rubbing her lower back a bit more before laying her hand onto her knee before reciprocating his greeting, “Oh, hey Shinji, good morning! Did you sleep well?”

Shinji looked away, “O-oh, n-not really.” He didn’t really want to trouble her with his pain and nightmares. Those were his burden to bare and his alone. There wasn’t much she could do, though she would ask why anyways. His physical pain, however, could be fixed easily. They were in a hospital after all. “My arm was hurting,” Shinji added embarrassingly.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” Misato responded truthfully. She knew that his arm would probably hurt, all things considering, so of course she should have gotten the doctor to get him some pain medication. “Don’t worry we’ll get you something to help you out!” she added with a gleeful smile that shortly turned to a smile of worry and eyes full of concern, “But I do think you should try to get some sleep, after all, going without sleep isn’t good for someone still recovering-” she stopped suddenly, looking away from Shinji guiltily. Shinji raised an eyebrow, ‘Recovering from what?’.

“Oh, y-yeah, you’re right, Misato. I should get some rest.” Shinji concurred with a smile. The way she had suddenly stopped speaking and looked away, he knew that Misato wouldn’t want to tell him. He knew asking would only cause him to be a bother. 

“Oh, no Shinji, I didn’t mean right now! I meant after we get you some pain relief,” Misato said as she stood up and stretched, “I’ll go ahead and call a doctor!”. She started towards the door before Shinji called out to her, “Wait, Ms. Misato!”

“Huh? What’s wrong, Shinji?” Misato turned slightly towards Shinji.

“Y-you don’t have to, I-I don’t want to be a bother to anybody.” Shinji answered meekly. 

Misato rolled her eyes and turned towards the door, “Don’t be silly, Shinji. This is a hospital, the doctors’ duty is to make sure you are comfortable and recover as well as possible.”. As she finished, she opened the door to the hallway and exited before Shinji could stop her.

“W-wait!” Shinji began as he reached his hand out to Misato. He didn’t want to be alone, his arm hurt, everytime he closed his eyes he caught a glimpse of Asuka crawling through his-

Everything stopped. The ticking clock went silent, the memory of Asuka faded, Misato’s footsteps down the hall were muted. The only sounds that Shinji could hear were his heartbeat and the sudden ringing in his ears. His eyes widened as he stared at his arm. Right below the elbow -about four centimeters down- his arm suddenly stopped. No forearm, no wrist, no hand, no fingers, nothing. It was all just missing. Behind his eyes were burning, along with his throat. The peripherals of his vision were starting to get blurry, it was becoming difficult to see. He now felt two things: the thudding of his heart against his ribcage, and the searing pain of the end of his arm.

‘What… what happened? What happened to  **ME** !?’

  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The phone rang in Ritsuko’s pocket. She pulled it out and she felt a cold pang in her heart. ‘Misato? Is it about Shinji?’ she thought to herself fearing the worst. “Misato? Good morning, is everything alright?”

“Good morning, and yeah everything’s fine! I just woke up, but I do have some concerns over Shinji’s comfort.” Misato responded.

“Didn’t you just say that everything was fine?” Ritsuko argued with a frown and eyebrow raise. Misato’s ‘concerns’ could vary from Shinji’s pillows needing adjustment to him crying out in his sleep. “Well, what are your concerns?”

“Well, he has pain in his arm...” Misato answered slowly.

“As anyone in his position would, we have given him a little bit of pain medication to assist his day-to-day functions, so what is the actual problem, Misato?” Ritsuko explained. She didn’t want to beat around the bush, especially when it dealt with Shinji’s delicate situation. Dancing around the problem was really agitating.

“He said he didn’t sleep.” Misato responded grimly, “Listen, I’m worried about him. He was there in a dark room by himself with nothing to do except stare at the clock and ceiling. We need to tell him about his arm.”

“Today? Misato, he woke up  **yesterday** . You can’t tell someone who just woke up from a coma, ‘Sorry, we had to cut off your arm without your permission nor preparation and you will just have to deal with it’.” Ritsuko spat as she grabbed the Third Child’s file from her desk and began her journey to Shinji’s hospital room. “Listen, I’m on my way now with his file, so if you really want him finding out today then you can tell him. I advise against him discovering something this serious so soon, as he could have a panic attack or a seizure or a heart attack.” Ritsuko warned.

“Don’t worry, he has me here to help him.” Misato replied. “Honestly, I just want to have it there so that when we are ready to tell him we can. Or…” she trailed off.

“...Or, if he finds out on his own.” Ritsuko finished Misato’s statement.

“Yeah. Oh, hey Rei!” Misato greeted Rei before continuing, “Hey, Rits? One more thing.”

“Yes?”

“Bring some pain relief that will actually relieve his pain.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  


Rei walked down the hallway. She noted the bland colours of the walls and the few paintings that occasionally lined them. ‘These need to be happier.’ Rei thought, though she immediately shot that thought down with the memories of her being in a hospital room. She always thought that the bland, calming colours were therapeutic for her.

She heard Captain Katsuragi talking to someone on the far end of the hall around a corner.

“Good morning, and yeah everything’s fine!”

‘That’s a lie. Shinji’s condition is nothing to brush off.’ Rei thought coldly. Her heart sped up a little and she felt herself growing hot. She was reminded of Asuka. Usually, when she was agitated, she would yell and hit things. ‘Primarily him.’ She felt anger build up within her. ‘This is her fault.’

She didn’t exactly know why she was feeling this way. She knew Shinji didn’t have feelings for her, or at least hoped he didn’t. Knowing what she was -and who she was made from- a romantic relationship with him would be very… ‘Strange. These feelings are strange.’ Rei finished her train of thought. She rounded the corner-

“Yeah. Oh, hey Rei!” Misato greeted Rei before continuing, “Hey, Rits? One more thing.”

Rei wasn’t too interested in her conversation, so she simply walked on. She got to the door of Shinji’s room and went to open the door but hesitated. ‘I hope he is ok.’

She opened the door and entered. She spotted the bandaged arm first before she saw the owner’s face. She felt her anger at Asuka and Captain Katsuragi subside immediately and be replaced by the feeling of her blood running cold. ‘No…’ She thought in dismay. When she spotted his face she felt a chill run up her spine, from the base all the way up to her neck where it remained. ‘I need to say something, I need to calm him down.’

“S-Shinji?” Rei cautioned. There was no response. ‘That is… worrisome.’. She took a hesitant step forward, her hand began to raise on its own, “Shinji? Are y-you okay?”. Shinji’s silence remained. Rei’s heart began to pound as it felt like her heart was being constricted downwards. She continued to approach him with her hand held out subconsciously, as if she were trying to pet a shy stray cat. “S-Shinji, p-please say something.” she pleaded, her voice began to waver. Her hand began to tremble. ‘Is he having a seizure? Is he having a panic attack?’ she began to work through the possible causes and possible effects of his current condition. She finally reached his side, “Shinji, talk to me.” she lightly placed her hand onto his bandaged arm. 

Shinji’s eyes widened, and he shrieked. It pierced through the air and made Rei’s head hurt. She recoiled as Shinji pushed himself back into the wall. He said nothing, he only screamed in pain while grabbing his elbow. Rei placed her hand on his shoulder and gripped tightly, “Shinji! Please calm down!”

“Get off me!” he yelled, trying to pull away from Rei.

“No!” Rei yelled as she grabbed his wrist tightly. Unlike the hand on his shoulder, she intentionally wanted to cause him pain. Just as she had planned, his hand released his elbow and was pulled towards Rei as she hugged him. He struggled. ‘Shit…’ Rei commented. He struggled  **a lot** . She more restrained him rather than hugged him, but hugging was her intention. “Please stop, you need to calm down. If you don’t, you could put yourself in danger,” Rei said calmly before she paused, “please Shinji, I care about your wellbeing, so please just calm down.” Shinji’s struggling lessened for a moment, before intensifying. Rei squeezed tighter. He started hitting her with his elbow while trying to push her away with his hand.

“Rei!”

Rei’s eyes snapped open. She released Shinji and watched as he gasped and coughed, regaining his breath. Rei had her shoulder against his diaphragm, preventing his breathing. ‘At least he calmed down.’ “I apologize, Shinji,” Rei breathed out, “but you needed to calm down, so I restrained you as best I could.”

“Well, it worked, at least.” Misato said from behind Rei. She knelt down at the side of Shinji’s bed and began straightening the sheets up. Afterwards, she tightened his bandages and began trying to sooth him. Rei continued to stand towards the foot of the bed, waiting for Misato to finish.

“Rei,” Misato snapped Rei out of her thoughts, “I need to go meet Ritsuko, now. Can you stay here and take care of Shinji here, can you do that for me?” Rei nodded in response, “Good.”. Misato stood up, “Well, I need to go, you two take care of each other, alright? I’ll be right back.” With that, Misato turned and fast walked out of the room. The footfalls indicated as soon as she was out of view, she had begun to run. Shinji and Rei didn’t move.

‘What should I say?’

Shinji was the one to break the silence. He looked down in shame, “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. 

“What are you sorry for?” Rei asked as she tilted her head, “Your reaction was completely expected. Personally, I wish we could have delayed your discovery.” she added. Shinji remained still, his head hung low enough that Rei couldn't see his expression. “I apologize for how I handled the situation. I had not prepared for this scenario.”

Shinji seemed to deflate at her words. ‘Why should he feel responsible in any way about this?’ Rei wondered, ‘None of this is his fault…’. She wanted to make him feel better, or at least less guilty so she repeated her thoughts out loud to him.

“I just ended up making things harder on all of you,” he finally said after a while, “I’m sorry.”

Rei sighed, “This was going to be difficult either way, if you found out later or now,” she walked over to one of the chairs and pulled it close to the bed, “there were concerns on how you would handle finding out that you had-”

“How?” Shinji interrupted. His body had stiffened, causing Rei to feel an ominous presence bearing down on her neck. She remained silent for a moment, trying to figure out how to tell him without upsetting him further.

“Why don’t we wait for Dr. Akagi to arrive?” Rei finally decided, “She can tell you everything you need to know about your condition.”

“O-oh,” Shinji said with disappointment, “thanks, Rei.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ritsuko opened the file while standing at the foot of the bed. The first sheet, also being the most recent of the reports to be entered into the folder, was Shinji’s x-rays. She froze at the sight of it. She recalled the moment about five minutes prior to her entry of Shinji’s room when Misato had informed her of Shinji’s discovery. At the time, she wanted to scold her for being so careless, leaving him alone like that. Now, she realised that Misato was already scolding herself and was currently sitting in one of the visitor chairs tapping her foot. 

Overall, the room’s atmosphere was tense. Rei sat with her hands in her lap, her eyes flipping between Ritsuko to Shinji. Shinji sat up straight, staring at Ritsuko intently. His eyes were open wide, ‘Is he trying to remain awake?’. Ritsuko returned her attention to the folder within her left hand. She rested the folder against the foot of the bed while she organized its contents in the order she thought Shinji would find interest in reading first, then she slipped the x-ray of his torso into the back of the papers she had selected for him. Ritsuko pulled the reports she had chosen out of the folder and closed it, laying it onto the counter in the corner of the room. “Alright, Shinji,” Ritsuko said with a slight frown, “I understand you have questions,” Shinji reacted with an eager nod and opened his mouth to speak before Ritsuko cut him off, “ **lots** of questions, but just listen to me for a minute.”

Shinji closed his mouth and nodded once slowly. Ritsuko took the invitation to begin, “Ok, I have picked a few documents that I believe you would find interesting or informative. I will give a brief summary of each document’s contents. If you want to know more, please do not hesitate to ask,” Ritsuko paused, waiting for Shinji to respond. “Alright.” Shinji answered with a nod. Ritsuko continued, “Very good, I will begin with the Mount Asama Incident -as it has been dubbed- and will be quick with it as I am sure you remember most of the information in that document. Unless…” Ritsuko trailed off, waiting for him to say that he doesn’t remember that day -it was highly plausible for him to forget the events that had occurred due to his shock and seizure- and for his request for her to go into detail of the day’s events. Instead, Shinji surprised her, “I remember most of what happened. We were supposed to capture an Angel embryo, but another Angel attacked and we were unable to catch it and we had to abandon it, right?” Shinji was looking at the paper, but didn’t seem to be reading it. 

“You aren’t entirely wrong, Shinji.” Ritsuko remarked, causing Shinji’s head to shoot up in surprise, “It was actually just one Angel named Sandalphon. It was in the embryonic form and had awakened right before Asuka’s dive.”. Shinji stiffened. He opened his mouth to speak and before Ritsuko could say anything, Misato answered Shinji’s unasked question, “Yes, Shinji, Asuka’s just fine. She’s actually at school today.” she smiled as she finished. “Oh.”

“Anyways, Asuka defeated the Eighth Angel, though her suspension and coolant cables were severed in the process. They snapped and she almost sank to unrecoverable depths, except you were there to grab her cables and make sure she didn’t suffer that fate.” she let her words hang in the air for a moment with a smile, hoping Shinji would get the hint. The silence started to become awkward, so Ritsuko decided to continue, “Well, you saved her, and as Unit 02 and Asuka were wearing Type-D configuration suits, neither were harmed by the heat.” Her smile slowly faded as she spoke, dreading the next part of Shinji’s debriefing. “Unit 01 sustained heavy damage, enough that it is still in the process of being repaired,” Shinji gulped at her words but continued to remain silent, “the brachio-radialis section was, well, practically melted. So was the hand, Shinji.” Shinji began to turn to the final page Ritsuko had given to him, “Which leads us to what had happened to you.”

Shinji held the x-ray up from the rest of the documents. His eyes studied the sheet before him, “And what exactly happened to me, Dr. Akagi?”. Ritsuko felt a cold shiver through her spine, she shouldn’t have felt intimidated by Shinji, it was Shinji after all. But she did, she felt intimidated by the Commander’s son. ‘So, you really are his son, huh?’

Ritsuko shook her head slightly in an attempt to regain her concentration, “You were affected much the same way as Unit 01 was, damage wise. Your arm suffered fifth degree burns, meaning the bone was burnt slightly. Your nerves and ligaments were destroyed, so your arm would have only given you pain and dead weight. We removed it with a transradial amputation.” Ritsuko finished grimly. At this point Shinji was staring at his arm and everyone seemed to be avoiding each other’s eyes. The silence was long, until it was broken by Shinji Ikari -not the Gendo Ikari version but the regular Shinji- , “So, w-what happens now?”

Ritsuko looked up at him and answered sadly, “Now, we prep you for surgery.”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Thanks for reading! again, if you like it, consider giving some Kudos! Also, if you think of a way to improve my writing, please comment some CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM so I may improve the quality of further chapters!
> 
> Some notes on how I am writing Rei in this story: *SPOILERS* :
> 
> She does know who she is as a clone of Shinji's mother, and embraces that by being more of a sibling to Shinji. I will try not to write them romantically and if it comes off that way then remember that they are more supposed to be siblings. She understands that she has many human feelings, but doesn't always understand their meaning right away. She is very protective of Shinji, which will be explored in later chapters. 
> 
> Some notes on how I am writing Shinji:  
> He is going to be more based off the manga version (which I have not read but I did read about the difference between the anime and manga of his character) which is more angry, but hardly shows it. 
> 
> ONE LAST THING:  
> I admit that I do not have any professional knowledge of amputations, surgeries, or of the recovery process of either. I have read articles, and will attempt to be accurate but I am making NO promises.
> 
> Sorry about the long notes, I will try not to make them so long next time. Again, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed! Until next time!


	3. CHAPTER 3: PHANTOMS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinji is to undergo surgery, and Asuka finds time to visit.

CHAPTER 3: PHANTOMS

Shinji could only blink dumbly. ‘Surgery? Again?’. “For what?” Shinji thought out loud. 

“We need to begin the base of a prosthetic arm.” Ritsuko answered. She opened up the folder she had brought with her and pulled out one last sheet and gave it to Shinji to inspect.

It was a blueprint for an advanced prototype of a prosthetic arm. It had a smaller piece of paper paper-clipped to the blueprint that depicted a sort of choker necklace. The arm itself was black, with a few silver highlights. The arm appeared to be as close to a human forearm as possible, but the hand was more geometrical than the biological look of a human hand. The fingers were all approximately the same length, while the thumb’s tip reached the finger’s knuckle. The hand was a simple square shape that smoothed inwards towards the wrist. 

“Uhm, D-Dr. Akagi?” Shinji asked nervously, “W-what if I don’t w-want this?”

Ritsuko raised a confused eyebrow, “You...you don’t want a prosthetic arm?”

“You sprang it onto him, Dr. Akagi.” Rei butted in, “What exactly makes him want to undergo surgery and more pain for a fake plastic arm?” She spoke with venom. 

“O-oh, of course, Rei,” Ritsuko replied, clearly taken aback by Rei’s words, “Shinji, this is an experimental prosthetic device. It is controlled through the connection of this device here,” Ritsuko tapped the sketch of the choker, “which connects to your nervous system through a similar method to that of your neural connectors.” Ritsuko gave a small smile to Shinji, to which he responded with a look of confusion. Ritsuko sighed, “Ok, the purpose of giving you a prosthesis is to try to mitigate the risk of you losing a neural connection to your right arm. If you did lose a neural connection to your arm, then you’d lose the ability to use Unit 01’s right arm. We thought -no,  **I** thought- that if you had a more,” Ritsuko grabbed her chin in concentration, searching for the right term, “...a more  **real** feeling arm.” She smiled contently, “Well, I guess we could give you a hook or just a piece of silicone in the shape of an arm, but I thought you’d like one with feeling.”

“Feeling?” Misato spoke up while narrowing her eyes, “Like what kind of feeling?” she winked. Ritsuko sighed.

“This prosthetic has temperature sensors in the palm and the bottoms of the fingers, as well as pressure sensors. When your arm is connected to the NERV-END,” Ritsuko pointed to the picture of the choker, “you will be able to feel if something is soft or hard, hot or cold, and even how much force you are exerting on an object.” She looked at Shinji with a smile.

“In theory, Shinji,” Misato added, “that’s how it would work. But, this is experimental and may not work perfectly, so in all actuality you’d be able to tell if an item was hot or cold but not how hot or how cold it is.” Misato stated matter-of-factly.

Ritsuko shot Misato a glare before saying, “Yes, well, it’s better than not feeling anything at all, right Misato?”

Misato nodded in agreement, then looked to Rei for further concurrency. Rei seemed to ponder the prospect before giving a small nod, “I do think it would make it easier to get used to.”

With that, Shinji relented, “Oh, o-okay, what do I need to do?”

“You will need to complete a few exercises to help with muscle deterioration, then you will complete some reaction tests, then we will do the surgery,” Ritsuko answered calmly, “afterwards, when you wake up we will discuss the physical therapy exercises that you will need to do each day to keep the muscles in your arm from deteriorating from being unused.”

“Okay.” Shinji responded after a moment, taking a deep breath before asking what exercises he was needing to do.

  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Asuka bounced her knee up and down nervously. ‘C’mon, c’mon…’ she thought frantically. She checked her watch to find that there were ten minutes left before the final chime and was able to go visit Shinji. ‘I have ten minutes, that is how long I have to figure out what to say to him,’ Asuka thought, ‘and how to repay him.’ After all, she couldn’t be indebted to anyone, even Shinji. She  **was** the Great Asuka Langley. 

But, truthfully, she was afraid. Not of Shinji, he was the perverted idiot who always backed down. ‘Until…’ Yes, until he plunged Unit 01’s arm into Mount Asama’s magma to catch her. She remembered what she had felt in that moment that betrayed every instinct she had built since the last time she had let someone come close to her. The warmth she felt she should have reserved for Kaji. Instead, Shinji had to go and disobey orders and endanger his and her life and complicate things. ‘I think I’ll give him a piece of my mind.’ She thought shortly, then she rationalized it further, ‘But that wouldn’t be right. What was he supposed to do, let me die by overpressure in a volcano? Of course not.’ She knew she couldn’t be angry at him, not after what had happened. 

The final chime rang and started the end-of-class uproar, pulling Asuka out of her thoughts. ‘Shit, time sure passes fast.’ She began putting her things into her bag. She took her time, knowing the professor would still ramble on for another five minutes.

“Do you need some help, Asuka?” Hikari asked.

“No, I don’t. I need another copy of the assignments for the idiot, but I have to wait another five minutes if I’m going to get them.” Asuka responded angrily. ‘I don’t need your help, Hikari, get the hint!’

“Oh…” Hikari responded with a voice and posture that reminded her of a puppy who had just been told ‘bad dog’ after they peed on the rug. “Well, you know you have friends that you can rely on.” She left the room with her head hung low.

‘At least she didn’t push any further or I might have had to be meaner.’ Asuka thought to herself. Hikari was a lot less pushy lately, probably due to the fact that the teacher had to tell the class that he had been injured and was in a coma. This caused many people to give Asuka, Wondergirl, and the Ape and Four-Eyes a lot of pitying glances. It was a new constant, and it aggravated Asuka more than anything else. ‘Well, not more than Wondergirl.’ she corrected. 

The teacher finally stopped talking and began to walk to his desk. Asuka had finished packing her bag and walked over to the teacher’s desk, “Excuse me!” she yelled, ‘How is he still a teacher, anyways? I have to yell anytime I speak to him.’ Asuka wondered. 

“Ah, Miss Langley, are you here for Shinji’s assignments?” he asked slowly.

“Yes, sir.” Asuka monotoned. The teacher handed a few sheets over to her and she quickly stuffed them into her bag before she left the classroom. ‘Finally, I can go see how Shinji’s doing.’

  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After walking from school, taking the train, and making it to the hospital Asuka stood outside the room the receptionist identified as Shinji’s. She held her hand out to open the door, but she was frozen with one question on her mind: ‘What the hell am I going to say to him?’. She took a deep breath in and held it for a moment, ‘He might be asleep, anyways,’ she reasoned, ‘come on, you’re just here to deliver his class assignments, just walk in and hand them to him and say ‘see you later’ and leave. Easy.’ She released the air in her lungs and opened the door.

“What?” Asuka was dumbfounded by the empty beds. “Did they release him and nobody thought to let me know?” she thought out loud, “wouldn’t be the first time…” she muttered.

“He is currently undergoing a surgery for his new prosthesis.” an irritatingly robotic voice came from behind Asuka and a frown appeared on her face as she turned around to face-

“Ugh, hey Wondergirl.” Asuka deadpanned. ‘Why is she here? Shouldn’t she be sucking up to the Commander?’ Asuka insulted her within her mind, ‘Actually, she just might be.’. “So, what’s this about a ‘new prosthesis’? I thought he was fine?”

“He is in good health,” Rei responded in her characteristic monotone voice. ‘Does Asuka not know about his arm? How many people were not told?’ Rei wondered. “He needed a new prosthesis after his injury at Mount Asama.”

“What, did he lose a finger?” Asuka asked, deeply annoyed. ‘Being the Commander’s son sure does get you extra special attention, huh?’ Asuka figured that due to the heat he must have gotten injured badly, but not lose a finger badly.

But when Asuka asked about his finger, Rei looked away from her. If Asuka didn’t know any better, she would say Rei looked troubled, but this was Wondergirl and she could never fail, right? “Well, Wondergirl? Spit it out!” Asuka was growing angrier by the moment, “I mean, why would he need a prosthesis anyway? It’s not like he lost his arm or anything.” Asuka mocked.

“Actually, he did.”

Asuka froze for a moment, “What?”. She looked towards the source of this new information and found Misato with her back leaning against the threshold of the room with her arms crossed. Asuka’s first reaction was to laugh it off, Misato did like to tease her and Shinji, and it didn’t seem too far-fetched for her to joke about something like this. But what made her stop was when she saw Misato’s face. She usually looked sloppy and unkempt, but she always fixed her look before she left the apartment. Right now, her face was slightly gaunt, her eyes were red, and there were heavy bags under her eyes. Misato wasn’t smiling, in fact, her mouth was downturned. “Wait, he lost his arm?” Asuka asked in disbelief, “Because of me?”

Rei denied Asuka’s claim before Misato was able to open her mouth, “No, Shinji made a decision and he is paying the price for it.” Rei didn’t mean to sound so cold, but she knew it wasn’t fair that Shinji had to pay with his arm and was bitter about the situation. All Asuka could think was, ‘Still as cold as ever, Wonderbitch.’ Misato sighed.

“He is being fit with a prototype prosthesis arm that has many sensors in it should give him the feeling of an actual arm,” Misato explained to Asuka who was staring at a tile on the floor, “if he loses the mental connection between his brain and his missing arm, he loses the connection between his brain and Unit 01’s arm as well.”

Asuka continued to stare at the ground, ‘How the hell do I make this up to him, now?’ she wondered, ‘this is my fault… but they can’t know that.’ she steeled herself. “So he gets a fancy new arm to still pilot, huh?” Asuka looked up, “Being the Commander’s son really does help, huh?” Asuka said, immediately regretting her actions.

The room’s atmosphere changed quickly. Rei clenched her fist and teeth and stormed out, ‘So, Wondergirl’s got emotions after all…’ Asuka noted. Misato scowled at Asuka, “Asuka, you need to think about what you say and how it could affect others more often,” Misato admonished, “especially when it affects  **both** of your fellow pilots.”

Misato turned and left Asuka in the silent room alone. Asuka sighed, ‘That didn’t go well.’. She looked at the bed. It was quite clean and looked soft and comfortable. She sat at the end and hung her head low, ‘His arm is gone because of me. This is my fault.’ ran through her mind repeatedly. Eventually, she pulled out his class assignments and a sticky note from her bag. She wrote two words down and left the papers on the bed.

Rei returned five minutes later to reprimand Asuka, but only found the classwork and the sticky note that said, ‘i’m sorry’ in lowercase English. Rei hummed, then began working on the various subjects that Shinji had missed during his coma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, thanks for reading! I'm enjoying writing this, and I hope you're enjoying reading this! If you like it, don't forget to show some Kudos and comment some constructive criticism so that I can improve future chapters! See you next time!


	4. CHAPTER 4: ADAPTATION

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After receiving his new prosthetic arm, Shinji attempts to go back to how life was before the Mount Asama incident. As it turns out, Shinji isn't the only one trying to adapt to his changes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS SUPER LONG  
> But I hope you read it and enjoy it! Kudos are greatly appreciated and thank you so much for reading!

CHAPTER 4: ADAPTATION

  
  
  


Shinji listened to his SDAT play Track 25 while he felt the sweat drip from his brow as he tried to steady his breathing. He looked down at his new arm, which also had sweat running down it on multiple sides. He decided to stop exercising now, he didn’t want to damage the arm or -more importantly- his ‘stock’. Shinji detached the ‘arm’ from the ‘stock’ and reached for the tube of disinfectant wipes to begin cleaning. ‘I’ll need help changing my bandages, too.’ Shinji noted as he noticed the bandages around his ‘stock’ change colour due to the dampness. He started to clean what he could without touching the bandages at the ‘stock’. 

The ‘stock’ was a circular piece of machinery that connected at the end of his stump. It was about two centimeters long and matched the size of the rest of his real arm. In the center were the ‘bones’: two thick metal rods stood out about five centimeters, both with small rods that stuck out. They would snap into place when the ends of the ‘bones’ connected to the ‘arm’. Shinji wiped it all down and disposed of the wipe.

The ‘arm’ was a bit shinier than Shinji had expected it to be. It looked like a well polished plastic collectable car, but it was actually made of an aluminum-titanium alloy. The weight wasn’t over-bearing, but after the physical therapy exercises Shinji had just done, it felt like picking up a bowling ball. Shinji opened the battery tray and disconnected the battery. The tray was located in the wrist with a door on the top and bottom, so it could be removed from either side of the ‘arm’ in case one door wouldn’t open. The battery itself wasn’t heavy, to Shinji’s surprise. It was about the size of his SDAT, and weighed a bit heavier. He put it at his side and grabbed another wipe after closing the tray’s door. He wiped the ‘arm’ down for a bit until it was glistening on the entire surface. He grabbed one of the cleaning tools and wrapped the wipe around it before cleaning the area where the ‘bones’ connected. After he finished cleaning the ‘arm’, he disposed of the wipe and began on the ‘hand’ and ‘fingers’.

The ‘hand’ was black like the ‘arm’, but did not shine. It had more of a rubbery texture on the palm and back, which was where the sensors were located. They were made of silicone, but most of it was still the aluminum-titanium alloy that the ‘arm’ consisted of. Shinji began to straighten and spread the ‘fingers’. The ‘fingers’ were all of equal length and width. Each ‘finger’s’ joint had what Shinji thought of as ‘knuckles’ that consisted of a sphere. The ‘hand’s’ knuckles were covered by diamond-shaped pieces of shining metal that moved with the pistons within the ‘hand’. Shinji pulled out another wipe and cleaned the ‘hand’ and ‘fingers’.

Once he disposed of the used wipe, he studied the now-clean prosthesis and the area it connected to the rest of his body. ‘I hate it,’ Shinji admitted to himself, ‘it isn’t real, it doesn’t feel real.’. Shinji examined it and tried to think of it as part of him, but he couldn’t. He could tell that it was designed to make the wearer feel it was real, but it just made it feel more artificial to Shinji. The heat the prosthetic produced was dispersed throughout the ‘arm’, ‘hand’, and ‘fingers’ to simulate body heat, but it didn’t feel quite as natural as his own heat, nor did it match his own temperature all the time. While he was exercising, the ‘arm’ was cooler than he was, even with the simulated body heat. The ‘hand’ was odd in its design, but what bothered him more was that the thumb was real looking, despite its colour being black, while the rest of the ‘hand’ seemed robotic. The silicone used on the palm and the bottoms of the ‘fingers’ felt rubbery, not like skin. 

Shinji picked up the ‘arm’ and placed it onto his small bedside table and placed the battery into the charging pad. He stood up and grabbed a small package of fresh bandages and exited the room into the hallway. He heard the sounds of food sizzling in pans and of something being chopped on a cutting board. Shinji felt a chill up his spine and his heart stop, ‘No, no, no, no, no!’ Shinji panicked. He broke into a full sprint towards the kitchen.

“Misato you don-” Shinji started before he realized Misato wasn’t cooking. Instead, he found Asuka chopping a carrot. She jumped at his yelling and yelped in pain, “AGH! Idiot Shin-” the words got caught in her throat when she saw Shinji, “You IDIOT! PUT A SHIRT ON!” she yelled in response. 

Shinji took a moment to realize what she meant before he remembered that he took his shirt off so that it wouldn’t stink so bad after he worked out. His cheeks took on a deep crimson, “I’m sorry! I was-” Asuka started hitting him with the spoon she was using to stir the pot on the stove. “Asuka, please! Stop! That burns!” Shinji pleaded as he blocked the improvised weapon with his left arm.

“You idiot! You pervert! You-” Asuka yelled at Shinji before he caught the spoon in between the ‘bones’. ‘Shit.’

It had been a few days since the surgery for the prosthesis, and that area was still quite tender. So, after a workout that involved that area which left it sore, getting hit by a spoon there with Asuka’s strength made Shinji fall to his knees, gripping the ‘stock’. “Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow…”

“Shinji! Are you-” Asuka stopped herself, she needed his apology, she was just defending herself from a pervert, right? Or was it that he spoiled the surprise of her cooking for him? The last few nights Shinji had been at the hospital, recovering from his surgery so Asuka needed to learn how to cook or subsist on takeout. Either way, she felt the need for an apology. “Are you going to apologize for your transgression?” she pointed the spoon at him accusingly. 

Shinji muttered “sorry” and got up and left. Asuka raised an eyebrow. She hadn’t spoken to him much, and they didn’t spend too much time together. She didn’t want to see him, anyways. Moreover, she didn’t want to see his prosthetic arm and feel the guilt, like what she was feeling now. She sighed, and decided that it was about time she apologized. She had caused him pain, and he probably had a reason to come out of his room. He was always a bit of a shut-in around Asuka, but now it was like he went out of his way to avoid her. It was really starting to get on her nerves, and now when she knew she deserved to apologize Shinji bent to her will once again as he always had. She returned the spoon to the counter and started towards Shinji’s room.

She got to the door and found it open slightly, ‘I should see how his mood is,’ Asuka thought as she peeked into the room. Shinji still had no shirt on, which made Asuka’s peeking awkward for her, ‘And I call  **him** the pervert…’. Shinji began to unwrap the bandages from his arm, causing Asuka’s eyes to widen in realization, ‘He needs help…’. She felt her stomach sink, and felt anger grow in her. ‘Well, why didn’t he just ask? If he just said, “I need help with my bandage”, I would’ve helped!’ Asuka thought while she stood and knocked on his door.

Shinji jumped and pulled at the bandages harder than he wanted to, causing him to hiss in pain. “Y-yes? Co-” Shinji began before remembering the reason why both arms hurt now, “W-wait! Don’t come in! I’m not dressed!” He began searching frantically for a clean shirt that wouldn’t hurt when being put on as well as be easy to put on with one hand.

He heard a sigh from the other side of the door, “I know that, idiot. Are you going to let me in, or not?” Asuka asked in an annoyed voice.

Shinji thought for a moment. He knew he should, she usually got angry when she didn’t get her way. But then, he remembered the Asuka that melded into his arm, the image as clear as it always was when he saw her eyes. “U-uhm, I-I’m sorry, Asuka,” Shinji managed, “but I think I’d rather be alone.”. He knew she’d need a better reason, and quickly added, “I wouldn’t want to bother your cooking, it smelled good.”

Asuka stood at the door feeling confused. She felt herself growing very warm, she assumed due to the fact he had refused her. Shinji was right, she could get  **very** angry when she didn’t get what she wanted. But, her cheeks didn’t feel the same warmth as her body, they felt less angry. She stood there a moment before demanding, “Shinji, open the damn door you idiot!”

Shinji found a shirt and threw it on quickly. It got caught on the ‘bones’ and caused pain to shoot through his arm for a moment before he got it on correctly. He went to open the door before Asuka slid the door open angrily, causing Shinji to flinch. “When a lady asks you to do something, you do it!” she yelled, eliciting a small ‘I’m sorry’ from Shinji. This did not assuage Asuka’s anger. “Idiot! What did you want?”

‘She’s angry, if I troubled her with helping re-bandage me, she might be too rough with them,’ Shinji reasoned, “I was just wondering what smelled so good, and I came to see who ordered food.” Shinji lied, hoping that it was believable. Asuka didn’t seem convinced.

“Really?” Asuka said accusingly. ‘“see what smelled so good” my ass! He really is just a child!’ Asuka thought. “You sure you don’t need help with anything, idiot?”

Shinji knew it was a bad idea, but her nickname for him was starting to become grating to his ears, “Do you need help making sure that good smell you created isn’t ruined by your own negligence?” he deadpanned. Now, he was sweating for another reason besides exercise. ‘I messed up.’

‘What. In. The. Hell. Did. He. Just. Say.’ was all Asuka could think. Then, she remembered the pot she had on the stove. “I’ll deal with you later.” she replied quietly before she ran out of the room to the kitchen. 

Shinji slid his door shut quietly and began to replace his bandages while he listened to Track 26 on his SDAT. 

Neither heard their guardian enter.

  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Misato entered the apartment with a sigh and was about to enter the kitchen to grab a beer when she heard Asuka yelling at Shinji and the clang of something hitting metal. She heard Shinji head to his room and Asuka follow, and took that moment to grab her a beer before heading to her room to drink it. ‘I need to talk to her, soon.’

It had been about a week since Shinji had gotten his new arm, and Misato knew it wouldn’t be easy on any of them, and she knew Asuka would have the second hardest time adjusting. ‘That gives her no right to start hitting him,’ Misato knew. She cracked open the beer and downed it within seconds, slamming it down with a crunch as she flattened the can on the floor. “Asuka! Come here!”

Asuka was in the kitchen, having just barely managing to save the food she had on the stove from being burnt. When she heard Misato, she groaned, ‘Here we go.’ Misato always seemed to take his side, ‘She is usually right, though.’ Asuka made her way to the largest bedroom, “What do you want, Misato?” she snapped.

Misato opened the door and motioned for Asuka to enter. Her face was grim, causing fear to start building up at the base of her back. “Well, are you going to say something, Misato?” Asuka stated with her usual confidence. Misato’s eyes narrowed, causing Asuka’s heart rate to begin increasing. ‘I need an out, or else I might actually be in trouble.’

Shinji called out suddenly, “H-hey, Asuka? C-can you come here a minute?”

‘What does he want?’ Asuka questioned internally, but externally answered “Sure!” a bit more excitedly than she intended, “Well, Misato, I have to go help the idiot, see you later~” Asuka added with a shit-eating grin.

“You’d better.” Misato added with her brows furrowed before she slammed her door shut. ‘Alright, what the hell did I do to her this time?’ Asuka wondered while she went to Shinji’s room.

She found his door open fully, and his SDAT playing one of the songs he listened to all the time. “Hey, you aren’t naked, are you?” Asuka teased.

“A-actually, I don’t have a shirt on.” Shinji responded.

“Ohhh, I see, pervert!” Asuka yelled, and entered the room ready to slap Shinji while he curled into a ball from fear. Instead he held his hand out with a roll of fresh bandages in his palm to her face as she entered, in which she slapped it out of her way. He followed it with his eyes, which seemed to be saddened by her aggression.

“Sorry, b-but can you grab that? I-I need some help with this,” he pointed at his slightly yellowed bandages wrapped about his right arm, “and I t-thought it w-would be easier w-without my shirt in the w-way…” he nervously finished.

‘About time he just asked, but now, he’s gonna have to work for it.’ Asuka thought, coming up with a few ways to punish him for his outburst earlier. She finally came up with the perfect punishment for this idiot pervert who was hanging his head a little bit, “Look at me, idiot.” Shinji hesitated before complying. Asuka looked at his eyes and saw something she couldn’t quite place, there was wariness in them but also something else. ‘Or am I just imagining things?’ Asuka pondered before realizing that she hadn’t said anything for a time. She shook her head before raising it with her nose high and placing her hands on her hips, “I want you to say, ‘Miss Asuka The Great, please help me with this simple task I cannot do myself because I’m an idiot and must be guided by your greatness’, then I will help you.”. She waited for him to struggle saying the ridiculous line with her eyes closed and her mouth a closed smile.

“Miss Asuka The Great, please help me with this simple task I cannot do myself because I’m an idiot and must be guided by your greatness.” Shinji said, without pausing nor stuttering. Asuka opened her eyes and looked down at Shinji. His eyes showed something else now, ‘Is he… angry?’. “Now, Asuka, could you please grab those bandages? It would be easier for you since you’re going to help put them on, right?” Shinji reasoned, his voice showing no agitation, rather it took on an understanding tone. “Please?” he repeated.

Asuka said nothing, but grabbed the bandages from the floor and returned to Shinji’s bed, where he had scooted towards the foot of and turned his back to the door with his right arm extended towards the head of the bed. “What are you doing?” Asuka asked, ‘Why does he keep looking away? I’m beautiful, I’m Asuka Souryuu Langley, dammit! He should be staring!’ she criticized, knowing that if he did stare she would call him a pervert and hit him and who knows what else. He answered both questions, at least temporarily, “I thought it would make it easier if you were able to sit and have,” he rolled his shoulder, “the area unobstructed.”

“Idiot, I can do it standing much faster with you facing me then on top of your dirty, perverted bed.” Asuka commented before sitting on the bed facing the door, “Move it!” Asuka scowled. 

“Oh, s-sorry!” Shinji said as he pulled his arm out of Asuka’s way. Her scowl remained before she aggressively went to grab the ‘bone’ and gently moved it in front of her. The position his arm was in gave her the highest mobility with the bandage, both clean and dirty ones. For Shinji, however, his arm was in great discomfort and he wanted to ask to be able to move before she started, but when she got his arm to about her breasts she immediately began removing the bandages. She got them off quickly, and as carefully as she could when she was wanting to be out of his oddly warm room. Her focus was on the bandages instead of the arm, so when she removed them and saw what they hid she froze. “How disgusting…”

Shinji froze, “What…?”

‘Shit,’ Asuka thought, ‘I screwed up this time.’. “Asuka, what does it look like?” Shinji’s voice shook.

“It… well…” Asuka struggled to find the right words to tell him. She wanted to tell him that it wasn’t that bad, that it already healed, but she didn’t actually know. It was dry and flaking, which was what was bothering her at the moment. “Personally, this is one of the grossest things I’ve ever looked at, but I think it’s healing?” she didn’t know if it was healing or not, and it showed in her voice. “B-but I’m not an expert, Shinji,” Asuka added quickly in an attempt to salvage the situation, “I could get Misato to help-”

“No, it’s fine,” Shinji added coldly, “just finish the job.”

Asuka felt her blood’s temperature rise, “What was that, I think you forgot a ‘please’.” Asuka threatened with a sinister smile.

Shinji answered her threat with a piercing glance from the side, “You said that you would help if I said what you wanted me to, don’t go back on your promise or else.”

Asuka raised an eyebrow with her smile growing wider, “Or what, you’ll tell daddy?” she teased. 

Shinji turned to face her now, tearing his arm away from her, “Get out.” he said quietly.

“Aw, what, did I hit too close to home there, baby?” Asuka further teased, “What, did mommy and daddy not love you enough-”

“Asuka! That’s enough!” Misato yelled from the doorway. Asuka turned to face her, the smile dissipated, “Fine, I’m sorry.”. Shinji mumbled something that neither could hear, provoking Asuka to turn around to face him, “Sorry, what was that, baby?” she spat with as much venom she could muster.

To her surprise, he swung his left fist at her, which she narrowly jumped back from. He spoke slowly and concisely, letting each word hang in the air, “I.  **Hate** . You.”

Misato pulled Asuka out of the room and closed the door before things could get any messier. The last thing Asuka saw of Shinji that night was his shadow-concealed face, and two glistening lines on his cheeks as he stood with his fist clenched so tightly blood was dripping from the palm.

  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaji kept driving. That was all he could do. Asuka was remaining quieter than usual, and based on how Misato was acting, he didn’t really want to know what was going on. “Asuka, you know you can tell me what’s bugging you, right?” but he knew he had to know. Whatever this was, it could affect their synch-rates which nobody could afford at the moment.

Asuka, however, remained motionless while she surveyed the land outside the car’s window. ‘She’s gonna be a lot tougher to crack this time,’ Kaji waged, ‘maybe…’ he began to formulate a plan. “Maybe some ice cream would flip that frown around?” he bribed with a grin.

A quiet “No.” came from the redhead at his side, causing his grin to fade. He knew why she didn’t like opening up, but it really wasn’t good to just bury all of her problems so no one could help. Kaji attempted to sway her again, “C’mon, kiddo, you’ve been working hard! Out of anyone, the Great Asuka Langley surely deserves something of relaxation, right?” he took a glimpse of her from the corner of his eye. She kept staring out the window, resting her head in the palm of her hand. Her demeanor was soft, ‘Too soft,’ Kaji observed. ‘Whatever happened, she feels guilty,’ he determined, ‘and it takes something big to make her feel guilty.’

“How’s Shinji?” Kaji prodded. Asuka stiffened, ‘Bingo’. “Listen, I know he might be angry now, but-”

“What is the deal with him and his parents?” Asuka abruptly asserted. Kaji pulled the car over and put it in park, he turned his head all the way to her, “What, are you curious?” he inquired. 

“Yes.” She stated without movement from the window.

Kaji held for a moment, waiting for her to move or add anything. He relented, facing forward, “Well, from what I understand his mother died when he was real young and his father sent him away,” he paused to scratch the scruff at his chin, “and a few months ago, he sent Misato to collect him to pilot Unit 01.” As he finished, he crossed his arms and glanced over at Asuka, who was now looking at him from the corner of her eye. Kaji sighed and offered, “I don’t know what you said to him, but I would apologize as soon as possible.” Asuka ‘hmph’-ed in rebuttal, “Their relationship is pretty dicey from what I’ve seen,” he asserted, “even more than what I imagine the relationship between the two of you is like.”

“Don’t talk like we’re a couple!” Asuka countered, “I don’t like him,” she upturned her nose, “but I bet the pervert fantasizes about me all the time!” She put her finger to her chin, “He’s probably doing it now!” She laughed. Kaji noted how she had returned to her former self again, “So, you still don’t want ice cream?”

“I, Asuka Souryuu Langley, would gladly accept ice cream from the handsome and charming Ryoji Kaji.”

  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“There you go,” Misato commented, “is it too tight, or does it hurt anywhere?”

“It feels a bit rough,” Shinji remarked in the voice reminiscent of his father. He began to move his bandaged arm around, testing its wrap. Misato observed him, and noted each time his mouth pulled slightly at the corners. “Other than the texture it is actually really movable!” Shinji opined in his usual voice. He gave a smile to Misato and a “Thank you!”

“I’m glad I could help, Shinji,” she replied with her arms crossed and a smile. “Listen, about Asuka earlier,” both smiles faded and Shinji lowered his gaze to the floor, “she shouldn’t have said that, and if you want we can get her and Kaji set up in an apartment down the hall or on another floor.” It was doable, but unlikely that his father would approve of the action. 

Shinji let out a short laugh, “Like fath-” he cleared his throat, “Like the  **Commander** would do that for me,” he corrected.

Misato grimaced. She was trying to think of a way to change the subject, but the best she had was “It’s getting late, have you gotten a bath yet?” It wasn’t at all smooth, but it got the job done.

“No, I guess I should have done that earlier,” Shinji answered. He stood up and started towards his dresser.

“Hey, Shinji, why don’t you take a bath in the morning?” Misato suggested, “It would wake you up for your first day back at school!” she added with a smile. “And I could help you get really clean~” she teased.

“I might need help getting my bandages off and cleaning them, thanks,” Shinji explored the idea, ignoring Misato’s implications. 

“Yeah, Shinji, no problem.”

  
  


~~~Later that night~~~

Shinji laid in bed listening to his SDAT while he stared at the ceiling. He held up his right arm, looking it up and down. ‘What am I going to do at school tomorrow?’ Shinji pondered. People would be wondering where he had been, what had happened to him, ‘What do I tell them about my arm? Could I hide it somehow?’ he ran the idea through his head for a second before he knew any attempt to hide it would be futile. You can’t really hide a large, shiny piece of black metal very well unless you wore gloves and something with long sleeves, which would both be an oddity in Tokyo-3’s weather and fashion trends. He began to deliberate what he would divulge to those who questioned his injury.

While Shinji was (not) sleeping, Asuka entered the apartment. As she crossed into the living room she spotted her guardian, “Hey Misato,” she greeted, ‘Here comes her rant…’

Misato, to Asuka’s surprise, instead ordered her to bed, “It’s late. You have school in the morning, put the ice cream in the fridge if you are really going to eat it later and brush your teeth and get to sleep.” Asuka blinked. ‘What? That’s it? No punishment?’

As if Misato had telepathy, “No, I don’t think I’ll be punishing you,” she affirmed, “but don’t think you’ve gotten off scot-free, I’m sure Shinji can come up with some punishments of his own.”

“Like what?” Asuka taunted.

“He usually does all of the cleaning, cooking, making of lunches, and laundry,” Misato adduced, “I’m sure he can come up with something.”

And with that thought, Asuka carried herself to bed, leaving Misato alone with her thoughts. ‘This is going to be harder than I thought,’ Misato exasperated, ‘what am I going to do with these two?’

Misato decided she would follow suit and head to bed, leaving the problems plaguing her mind for tomorrow.

  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hurry up, idiot!” Asuka shouted over her shoulder.

“Sorry!” 

Shinji was running as fast as he could with his weaker muscles and imbalanced weight. He took a while in the bath as he tried to get the bandages off alone, though Misato might have done  **too** well in wrapping his arm. He eventually had Misato help him get the area clean while he sat embarrassed, looking at the ground. She had laughed it off, but Shinji noticed that deep down she was bothered by something.

They reached the school five minutes before the bell rang. Shinji’s lungs hurt, ‘I’m out of shape…’ asseverated. “Come on, how out of breath can you be?” Asuka chastised while she grabbed him by the left wrist and dragged him up the stairs to the classroom. 

Shinji’s heart was pounding, ‘What will people think of me when they see this?’ he brooded while studying his ‘arm’. He took a step forward into the classroom and felt the air stand still around him as he felt the eyes of everyone in the room upon him. He pushed on to his seat, greeted by Touji and Kensuke. “Hey- WOAH!” Kensuke exclaimed, grabbing Shinji’s prosthesis and thoroughly looking each part over.

“Dude, keep it down-” Touji began before he was pushed out of the way by the rest of the class, Kensuke shortly followed.

Shinji was pelted with seemingly endless questions, though they were all about his ‘arm’. “I don’t really want to talk about it,” he tried, but all it did was make them push for him to indulge them.

“He said ‘no’, now leave him alone,” Rei deadpanned. Many began to argue, but the chime rang and the teacher entered the classroom. The students all returned to their seats, Kensuke apologized for his outburst while Touji scolded him until Hikari ordered them to silence. 

Rei was examining the landscape with her head resting in her palm when she received a notification on her laptop. She glanced at it from the corner of her eye, ‘Shinji…?’ Rei clicked on the icon. ‘Thank you.’

‘For what?’ Rei replied, ‘They had no right to bombard you like that. You don’t need to satisfy their curiosity.’

With that, Rei returned her attention to the window and her head to resting in her palm.

Shinji was calmed down by Rei’s message and attempted to concentrate on the lesson instead of the flood of messages he was getting from his classmates. 

  
  


~~~Lunch~~~

Asuka was tired, and not just because she couldn’t think due to the realization of how much Shinji did in keeping Misato’s apartment from chaos. No, she was more tired of people asking about his arm. Everytime someone asked how he lost his arm, it always brought the realization that it was all her fault along with what had happened last night. Eventually, she was able to get away from everyone and get to the roof. She sighed, ‘Finally, some damn peace and qui-’

“So, you saved her life and lost your arm for her and she’s still being a bitch, huh?” Touji’s remark interrupted Asuka’s thoughts.

“Hey! Don’t call her that,” she heard Shinji chide, “she isn’t that bad!”

“Why are you sticking up for her, man?” Touji raised with a mouthful of food, eliciting Asuka’s begrudging agreement with the ape, ‘Seriously? How weak can you get Shinji?’

“Isn’t it obvious, Touji?” Kensuke responded, “Shinji has a crush on her!”

Shinji began denying the claim, while Asuka sat staring at her open lunch container. Even though Shinji kept refusing the various implications his friends threw at him, Asuka rolled Kensuke’s words in her head. ‘“Isn’t it obvious? Shinji has a crush on her!”, that can’t be true,’ but the more she thought about it, the more it made sense. Why did he put up with her countless insults and jabs at his self confidence? Why did he always seem to bend to her will? What other explanation could there be?

And if he did actually like her, that begs another question: ‘Why the hell would he like me?’

She was pulled out of her thoughts by a gentle tap on her shoulder. She whipped her head around to find Rei with her finger on her lips. She motioned for Asuka to follow her, and after a moment, she did.

The room was a storage area with a window as the solitary light source. For the equivalent of a closet, “This is a lot cleaner than I expected, Wondergirl.”

Rei gave a ‘hm’ in response. She sat down in a metal folding chair next to the window with a box against the wall, which she set a small box on with a small cup. “So, what do you want?” Asuka questioned warily, “You never want to hang out with me, so you’ve got to have a good reason to want to now.”

Rei stared at her for a moment before answering, “You shouldn’t eavesdrop,” she paused to take a sip out of her cup next to her lunch, “it’s impolite.”

“Yeah, well I didn’t want to. I meant to eat alone somewhere quiet but those three had to ruin it!” Asuka shot back.

“You could’ve just walked away,” Rei calmly retorted. She met Asuka’s eyes with a fury that rivaled her own, causing her to wonder how much she knew about her insulting the Commander last night. ‘This one’s the real kiss-ass.’

“Ugh, just get on with it!” Asuka yelled, “What do you want?”

“I simply want Shinji to be happy,” Rei took another sip of her drink, “and I think you could make it easier for him.”

“You want me to  **date** him!?” Asuka shouted angrily.

“I did not say that,” Rei placed her cup down next to her lunch, “I meant you could be nicer and do something for him once in a while.”

Asuka barred her teeth, “Like what?” Her fists shook at her side.

Rei reached down and pulled out a small stack of papers before handing it to Asuka, “I tried to match your handwriting, but it is a…” she cogitated for a moment, “...unique one.” She began to pack up her things, “Don’t forget that he has had it just as hard if not harder than you,” Rei whispered as she left.

‘What the hell was that?’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The final chime indicated the end of class and Shinji’s first day back to school. He lethargically began to put his pencils, notes, erasers, and other necessary materials for school. He was exhausted, and it was showing in more ways than one. Shinji’s arm was getting sore from the prosthesis’s weight, he also hadn’t walked this much since before his coma. He finished packing his things and started for the door, dragging his feet and hunching his back along the way.

“Mr. Ikari?”

Shinji grimaced slightly, ‘What would the teacher want with me? Did I do something wrong?’ Shinji panicked inwards but replied with, “Y-yes?” outwards while slowly turning his body to face the source of the voice.

The elderly teacher was hunching his back -similarly to Shinji but due to age instead of lack of energy- and held his hand out expectantly, “Your assignments?”

“What?” Shinji asked with confusion oozing from each syllable. ‘What assignments? Nobody told me I had work to do-’

“Here,” out of the corner of his eye he could see the bright red of Asuka’s hair. She placed a stack of papers into the old hand, “He left them at the apartment in the rush of getting to class on time this morning,” she tilted her head in Shinji’s direction. ‘Is she… covering for me?’

“Ah, I see…” the teacher began to ramble about “kids this generation are too careless” and various other topics neither Asuka nor Shinji were in the mood to listen to. They both quietly sped for the door when the teacher turned his back to them, placing the papers on the desk. The two students luckily escaped before they could be pulled into the half-hour discussion, “H-hey, A...Asuka?” Shinji raised breathlessly. 

“Hm?” Asuka responded, “What?”

Shinji stood with his hands on his knees catching his breath a moment before continuing, “Nobody told me there were assignments,” he swallowed his thirst, “so I couldn’t have done that work.” He looked up at her, “Did you do all of those for me?”

Asuka watched him a moment, making Shinji begin to regret asking. “Yeah,” she answered, “Why, would you have preferred if I had just let it pile up for you to do?” She placed her fists onto her hips and tilted her head slightly, “Well?” she raised her eyebrow.

Shinji looked away, “Kind of…” he replied quietly. He stood up straight having recovered his breath and started walking to his locker, “I just missed a lot of the lessons.” Asuka began to follow, “I-it’s just, i-it would have been a lot easier to catch up with those assignments is all,” he added while scratching the back of his neck. ‘I need a haircut,’ he noted as he felt through his mane.

Asuka sped up with a haughty walk, “Well, next time I will just tell the teacher you didn’t do it, how about that?”

Shinji bent easily to her -’As always’- , “W-wait! I-I didn’t mean t-that I wasn’t grateful!” Shinji jogged to keep up.

In the distance, unbeknownst to the pilots, Hikari Horaki watched the two continue to ‘fight’. “She’s back to her old self,” she observed as Asuka teased Shinji on being a pervert, “they really are too cute.”

Hikari turned and headed for the door.

  
  
  


~~~A Few Days Later~~~

Ritsuko watched as Shinji clenched his ‘hand’ into a fist and relaxed it again, “Alright, what about then?” she stood up from the arm, “Any lag between input and output?” Ritsuko picked up a clipboard from the desk at her side and prepared to note almost every word Shinji said.

“No,” Shinji stated, fascinated by the new ‘hand’. The day he received his prosthesis he asked why the hand “looks so odd”. Ritsuko promised that they’d get him a more fitting hand, and the developers had come through! This hand had more sensitive sensors, allowing him to feel the wind in his palm. Aside from that, the design was improved phenomenally, as it more fit the size and shape of his other hand. And -in Shinji’s opinion- the best feature of the new hand was the improved control! He could unconsciously move it, as opposed to the other one that required a conscious and deliberate thought to execute each movement. This may have been due to the change they made in the ‘bone’: they had added computer chips into the spines along the ‘bones’ that connected to the nervous system, making the NERV-END choker unnecessary. “Ms. Ritsuko,” Shinji smiled wide, “this feels amazing!” He began to move the arm around, making various movements with the hand and fingers specifically.

“Well, that’s good to hear,” Ritsuko smiled as she noted in detail of how Shinji’s movements could be further enhanced, “but is there anything that particularly bothers you?” Ritsuko stopped writing. “Perhaps we could change the colour scheme?” she suggested as she tapped her pen against her cheek, “Black kind of stands out, right?”

Shinji’s smile faltered for a moment before he met Ritsuko’s gaze, “Actually, I don’t mind the colour,” his eyes dropped to the prosthesis’s clenched fist, “I think I like it like this.”

“Are you sure?” Ritsuko’s smile faded, “Black just doesn’t seem like you.”

Shinji frowned, “I mean…” he pondered the idea of getting the colours to match Unit 01, “Maybe match it with my Eva?” His eyes met Ritsuko’s.

“I think we can do that,” she answered with a smile, “we might be able to add the paint today before you go, if you want?” she tilted her head slightly with her smile returned. Shinji nodded.

With that, a quarter of an hour later, and he had a bright purple coat on his arm with green accents. The areas with the sensors remained black, as well as the ‘bone’ and the battery tray. He arrived at the apartment with Misato ten minutes later, still moving his hand in slight movements with a look of pure wonder on his face. “Hey, Misato?” Shinji asked with a slight uncertainty in his voice as they reached the door.

“Yes, Shinji?” Misato replied with a patient smile.

“Do you and Asuka mind if I cooked tonight?” Shinji almost demanded with the amount of eagerness in his voice.

“No, Shinji, I don’t think either of us would mind that in the slightest,” Misato chuckled as they entered through the threshold.

Asuka was engrossed in a long and complex combo she was inputting to impress Hikari -who had never played a fighting game before- and was interrupted by Misato’s greeting, “Honey, I’m home!” Asuka, not wanting to try the combo again, turned to face her guardian. Misato held her arms in the air with a large grin on her face, “Oh, hey Hikari!” she lowered her arms and waved to the guest beside Asuka. “Want to see Shinji’s fancy new  **hand** ?” she asked eagerly.

Shinji reflexively began to rub the aforementioned prosthesis while he spotted an interesting smudge on the floor, “I-it’s not that cool, Misato…” he said sheepishly.

Asuka rolled her eyes and returned to her game as Misato grabbed his arm and pulled him over to the two girls, exhibiting the arm dramatically. Asuka caught a glimpse of the purple arm with its green accents, but what took her attention was the new hand. She turned her head slightly to get a better look at it, “Huh, you got a regular looking hand, nice.” Asuka gave Shinji a small smile.

Shinji’s face grew red as he tried to hold himself up so as to not fall to the floor, but felt his heart skip a beat when Asuka smiled at him. “Wow! That’s really pretty, Shinji!” Hikari complimented as she examined the arm’s paint job.

“T-thanks, Hikari,” he strained. After a moment longer of him struggling not to fall to the ground, “M-Misato? Could y-you please let m-me go?” he requested in his best impersonation of someone not holding their entire body weight on a single arm.

“Oh! I’m so sorry, Shinji!” Misato laid him down gently as Hikari giggled and Asuka returned her attention to the game once again. Hikari left not too long afterwards while Shinji began to cook for the first time in ages. 

It felt strange, but Shinji got used to it quickly enough as his focus was narrowed onto the chopping of ingredients, stirring of sauces, and heating of the two together. Asuka, Misato, and Shinji (and Pen-Pen) ate vigorously, now remembering the ultimate commodity that was Shinji’s cooking. Afterwards, they got ready for bed.

While Shinji waited for sleep to take hold, he thought about the day to follow. ‘Tomorrow, I’ll be back to being a pilot again,’ he noted, ‘for the first time since…’ He held up the ‘bone’, ‘But it’ll be fine, Asuka and Rei will help me get back into it!’ he thought optimistically.

Shinji fell asleep smiling, awaiting the next day so that things could nearly return to complete normalcy.

  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for how long it was, but thanks for reading! There was a lot of his regular life I wanted to cover and set some stuff up that I felt it was better to make a longer chapter instead of splitting it up into multiple chapters. But, regardless of chapter length, I hope you enjoy the story and will come back for more! See you next time!


	5. CHAPTER 5: PITCH BLACK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asuka, Rei, and Shinji are on their way to NERV headquarters to perform activation tests for their Evangelions when the Ninth Angel attacks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for taking so long with this chapter, I would have gotten it out sooner, but it couldn't be helped. I'll try not to take as long with the next one! I hope you enjoy regardless!

CHAPTER 5: PITCH BLACK

“I have no time for trivial matters!”

Shinji replaced the phone into the receiver. Gendo’s words rang in his lowering head, lowering with his heart in his chest. All Shinji needed was someone to accompany him to the career discussion with his teacher. He began to feel a burning sensation behind his eyes, ‘Why? Why does he always do this?’

“Hey, idiot! You done yet?” Asuka shouted from down the sidewalk, pulling him out of his thoughts. Shinji snapped his head up and wiped the forming tears with the base of his palm before croaking a “Yeah…”

“Well, come on then! We don’t want to be late for the activation tests!” Asuka added.

Shinji began to catch up with Rei and Asuka. “Hey,” Shinji began quietly, “What-”

“Speak up!” Asuka interrupted without hiding the annoyed tone in her voice, “You’re always talking so quietly, idiot! If you have something that needs to be said say it loud and proud!” she motioned her arms outward to emphasize her point. Shinji glimpsed over to see Rei’s response, which was a scowl aimed at Asuka. “Shinji, please continue what you were going to say,” Rei said as she faced forward.

Shinji swallowed, “Well, I-I was just wondering, have y-you guys thought about the future?”

“What?” Asuka gave Shinji a puzzled look from over her shoulder.

“You know, after we defeat the Angels,” Shinji said hopefully, “what will we do then?”

Asuka and Rei stopped to turn and face him fully, “Is there something wrong, Shinji?” Rei asked before Asuka could insult him for being an idiot.

Shinji looked down at the ground, regretting bringing this attention onto himself, “Just, the teacher wants to discuss career paths with me tomorrow and I-”

“And you never have thought about it, huh?” Asuka cut him off with a new voice Shinji hadn’t heard before, “What, always thought you’d be dying in a big battle with an Angel, right?” she crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes on him.

“W-well, y-yeah,” Shinji replied while rubbing his right arm, “I never thought about if I actually made it out of this alive.”

“It is good to have aspirations,” Rei said.

Asuka shot a quick glare at Rei before turning around to continue their adventure to the NERV headquarters, “Well, what would you do, Shinji?”

“Huh?”

Asuka let out an exasperated sigh, “Idiot! I mean what would you do if you weren’t a pilot? You know, the discussion we were just having?”

“O-oh, yeah, s-sorry…” Shinji muttered before clearing his throat, “I don’t know, I like cooking but I don’t think I’d want to do it as a career, and I have my cello playing as a hobby, but other than those I can’t really see myself doing anything else.”

“I think that is fine,” Rei said, “giving yourself time to think on an important life choice like that is necessary.”

“Alright, Wondergirl, let’s hear your choice then!” Asuka pointed at Rei, “What do you plan on doing after I kill the rest of the Angels?” she finished with an eyebrow raised and her usual shit-eating grin.

“I do not wish to talk about my future with you.”

“Well that’s not fair to him, is it?” Asuka jabbed her thumb over her shoulder in Shinji’s direction.

“It’s fine,” Shinji began, “I was just wanting to have some small ta-”

“Then what about you, Asuka?” Rei kept her gaze forward, “What are your plans after  **we** defeat the Angels?”

Asuka pointed her nose to the sky, “I will move far away from here and never have to see either of you again!”

“Do we bother you that much, Asuka?”

“Huh?” Asuka looked over her shoulder. Shinji was giving her a look that was a mixture between being hurt and angry. “What do you mean, idiot? Of course you do!” She laughed.

“I see.” Asuka’s mouth went dry as Shinji began to take the lead of the group. “We’re here,” he stated after a while when they reached the doors to the facility. They entered the drab entryway, ‘It’s darker than usual, isn’t it?’ Shinji wondered as he swiped his ID card through the reader. Nothing happened. No door opened, as it should have. “Huh?”

Rei swiped her card next to the same effect. “Here, let me do it!” Asuka said as she pulled Rei out of the way to swipe her own card. When nothing continued to happen, Asuka angrily swiped her card back and forth multiple times, “What the hell? Is this thing busted?”

“Do the others work?” Shinji asked as he swiped his card through a different reader. The result was the same as the previous attempts.

“I wonder what else is not functioning,” Rei said, turning towards a sunlit hallway to their left. They began to push the buttons beside each door, testing what was working or not. “This won’t budge, either,” Asuka announced to the other pilots after testing most of the doors in the hall.

“None of the facilities are functioning,” Rei agreed, and after a moment mumbled “strange…”

“Well, did something happen down below?” Asuka asked.

“Most likely,” Shinji answered, “wasn’t there supposed to be an activation test for Unit 00 today, Rei?” She nodded. “Well, it might’ve been that. We should find a way to contact them, somehow.”

“I have my cell phone,” Rei suggested.

“There are also the emergency ground phones, they should be back down the hall!” Asuka rushed in that direction, Shinji and Rei quickly followed.

After a few attempts at making contact, Rei concluded, “The connection is unresponsive, it won’t connect.”

Asuka slammed her phone into the receiver, “It’s no use, even the emergency lines are gone.”

Shinji sat down on the bench next to the emergency phones, ‘Emergency…’ He reached into his bag and pulled out the NERV manual and began to flip through it. Asuka watched as Rei did the same before frantically following suit. “So, what should we do?”

Rei was the first to answer, “Why don’t we just go to HQ?” She restored the manual into her bag before standing.

“Like, walk there?” Shinji questioned, “Seriously?”

“Yes, you idiot! We go to HQ!” Asuka stated, “But before we do, we need a leader! And since I-”

Shinji was putting away the booklet when Asuka mentioned a leader. He froze, “Wait, Asuka, why do we need a leader?” 

Asuka glared daggers at Shinji, “Why? Because I said so, that’s why!” she yelled, “Now, is there any disagreement in having me be the leader?”

Neither gave any argument, being that both Rei and Shinji knew how futile that would be. “Great! Let’s go then!”

“We can take Route 7 underneath this hallway,” Rei noted from the map in her hands, causing Asuka to scowl.

They made their way to the aforementioned path, finding it to be blocked by a pressurized door. “Shinji! You’ve been working out, and that means you should be strong enough to open it by yourself!” Asuka ordered, to which Shinji sighed. He approached the metal door. 

It was built to be inaccessible to the public, being that it beared the painted warning of ‘RESTRICTED AREA DO NOT ENTER’ in the middle of it. Next to the door was the manual override controls for the door, which was a simple winch built into the wall. Shinji grabbed the handle and began to turn it, ‘Shouldn’t this be easier?’ he wondered as he struggled with the mechanism. “Why is it whenever you come to me for help it’s always something heavy!” he grunted at Asuka.

“Come on, you big ba-” Asuka started before she remembered last week when she had called him a baby and angered him. “...You big idiot, it isn’t that heavy!” she corrected.

“Do you want to try?” Shinji replied sarcastically.

“Hah! I am the lady, and it’s the gentleman’s job to open the door for her!” Asuka reasoned.

“Oh, and I thought I was the idiot!” Shinji heavily grunted as he continued to turn the handle.

After a final push fueled by Shinji’s aggravation towards Asuka’s attitude, the door was fully opened.

“Finally! Maybe I should have done it,” Asuka stated, “we would’ve been there by now.”

Shinji rolled his eyes, “Right…” he muttered before he felt Rei’s hand on his shoulder. 

“Thank you, Shinji.” She gave him a small smile.

“Y-yeah, you’re welcome,” Shinji nodded.

The trio walked through the barely visible halls for a short while being led by Asuka, Shinji began to wonder how well they were being guided. “Asuka, are you sure we are going the right way?” He looked around. They were surrounded by pipes. They were everywhere, even high above them. It was all they could see, except for the rare break in between the clusters of pipes that showcased the pitch black darkness that engulfed the area.

“What was that, idiot? Do you think you could lead us better than me? The Great Asuka Langley?” Asuka argued.

“Well, yeah, since we should have been there by now and you know it, being that you were the one to point out that this would be the quickest route to HQ,” Shinji shot back.

Asuka began to protest when Rei interrupted, “Silence you two.”

“What was that, Wonderbitch?” Asuka raised her voice.

“Voices,” Rei responded.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Makoto Hyuga continued to walk to the train station and sighed, “Dammit, why did I say ‘yes’ when Misato asked me to do her laundry? Why is this so heavy…” He continued to walk through the city streets until he got to the train station. “Huh, why is it so empty?”

As if in response, Makoto heard a loudspeaker kick on, “An Angel is attacking! Please make your way to your designated shelter immediately! This is an emergency…”

‘Ah, so that’s it,’ Makoto thought. “Well, what am I going to do now…” he wondered, as the train wouldn’t be running during an Angel attack. Aside from that, the Evas should be deployed any second. Any second now…

But they weren’t, meaning something was wrong. Makoto looked around, noticing there were no lights on at the station. There were no bright and flashy advertisements, no street lights, nothing. ‘Power… How could we be out of power?’ Makoto began to work, ‘We have three different power systems, so how can all three fail at once?’ A dark thought entered his mind, one he wished he never considered -even though it was the most likely explanation- . ‘Sabotage.’

Either way, there was an Angel on its way and if the power was out then there was the chance that it was unknown to everyone at headquarters. “I have to warn them…” Makoto knew, but he didn’t know how he would inform them.

Again, it seemed luck was on his side as the loudspeaker showed itself on the top of a van, the voice speaking highly of a running politician. Makoto began running towards the van, still holding the laundry bin, spilling Misato’s clothes in his wake.

~~~A Few Minutes Later~~~

The van crashed through the barrier onto the NERV Headquarter’s main road through the facilities. He took the transmitter from the girl in the passenger seat and began to yell into it, “There’s an Angel attacking! I repeat!” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Asuka, Rei, and Shinji listened for a moment, until they could discern the owner of the voice. They saw in the distance a light from what appeared to be…

‘It’s a car!’ Shinji realized. Next to him, Asuka began to shout, “Hey! Mr. Hyuga! Hey!” Shinji realized the voice belonged to one of the technicians that helped them in the command room where Misato usually worked from, and joined Asuka trying to gain his attention.

They paused a moment, listening to what he said over a loudspeaker, “There’s an Angel attacking! I repeat! There’s an Angel attacking!”

“An Angel?” Shinji waited for conformation. ‘Could it have planned this out?’

“We need to hurry, let’s take a shortcut,” Rei stated.

“Hey!” Asuka objected, “Don’t boss me around like that!” A moment later she added, “So tell me, where is this shortcut?”

Rei jogged forward a little bit before stopping abruptly, “Here, Shinji.”

“What?”

“Could you use your strength on opening this ventilation shaft?” Rei answered. Shinji looked down at his prosthetic hand.

“Uhm, alright? I-I guess I could…” Shinji said as he kneeled down in front of the vent’s cover. He pulled back his right arm, aiming for the center of the cover, he closed his hand into a fist one finger at a time. He shot his arm forward into it, the sound of metal crunching against metal and he felt his arm vibrate slightly. The vent was heavily dented, and it didn’t take too much strength into the second punch to dent the vent cover completely in half. 

“Well,” Asuka leaned her weight on her right leg with her arms crossed, only slightly blushing, “at least now you have brawn to make up for your lack of brains!” Asuka laughed.

Shinji grumbled in response, instigating a “What was that?” from Asuka.

“Nothing!” Shinji answered through barred teeth. 

“We should get moving.” Rei entered the vent first, followed by Asuka.

“Yeah, idiot! That Angel won’t defeat itself!” Shinji was pushed by Asuka’s foot with not enough force to be called a kick but enough to knock him down. He brushed himself off before crawling into the vent.

They kept crawling for a minute before Asuka finally asked the question burning in her head, “Hey, Wondergirl, are you sure we’re going the right way?”

Rei gave a simple “Yes” without any doubt showing, infuriating the doubtful Asuka.

“Well, it’s a vent and all,” Asuka began, “it’s dirty, cramped, and I think we would’ve been fine had we just stuck to my route. I mean, what if we get lost? I’m gonna be stuck with a robot,” Rei stopped now, “and a pervert-” Asuka realized that Shinji was directly behind her. “Speaking of which, eyes down, pervert!” she said, looking over her shoulder at Shinji.

Shinji had his eyes down, following the feet at the top of his peripherals when he heard his name called, or at least one of Asuka’s titles of his, “eyes down, pervert!” Shinji looked up. Asuka began kicking immediately, shouting obscenities and the words “pervert” and “idiot” behind her at her target. After a few hits to the face, Shinji blocked a kick with his right arm, causing the kick’s force to hit the ventilation shaft’s wall.

The vent broke, spilling Shinji down first onto his back, Asuka second. Asuka landed on top of him, eliciting a painful grunt from the bottom. Asuka pushed herself off, standing straight, “You perv-” She noticed how she might’ve kicked him a bit too hard when she saw his face. His lip was split and bleeding slightly, while his nose was bleeding slightly more. Rei hopped down a moment later, unlike the previous two however, she landed on her feet. She looked angry, had Asuka not known better, but that just wasn’t possible. ‘Wondergirl’s basically just a robot with no emotions, just how the Commander likes her!’

“You need to stop instigating fights, Second.” Rei stood with her fists clenched, seemingly ready to strike from any direction.

“Well he needs to stop being a-” Asuka began to argue.

“Shut up!” Shinji shouted, lifting his back off the ground with great effort, “How have you become even harder to be around since I lost my arm?” He was now sitting up, wiping his nose with the length of his prosthetic arm, “You do know why people try to avoid you right?” He paused to wipe his bleeding lip with his thumb, “Why no one wants to be friends with you?”

Asuka wasn’t going to take this from Shinji, the idiot pervert, “Oh, really? Who has more friends again?” She smiled.

This seemed to anger Shinji further as he scrambled to his feet before shouting, “‘Friends’? You mean those people you always have to ask ‘Hey, wanna sit together?’ because if you don’t then they all just hide? You call that friendship?” Shinji took a step forward, “They hate being around you. They don’t want to anger you so they just decide it’d be easier to appease you, like I’ve always done!” With each step he seemed to grow angry, “You never had any friends! Hikari is friends with every new student so they can get more easily accustomed to the school!” 

Asuka took a step forward now, “Really? Because that’s a lot better than friendship with the bug and ape!”

Shinji shoved her, “DON’T YOU EVER INSULT MY FRIENDS!” he shouted at the top of his lungs. Asuka fell hard onto her bottom, she looked over to Rei.

Rei grabbed Shinji’s arm, “Stop! We have an Angel to fight right now!”

Shinji shook out of her grip but did not face her, “Nobody thinks you’re special, you’re just a pilot and that’s all you are!” He pointed at Asuka, “Once this is over, they will forget all about that, too!” Rei reached towards his shoulder as he turned around, causing him to snap, “Fuck off!” Shinji began to walk through the darkened corridor away from the two girls.

Asuka sat stunned, ‘Did he just tell me off?’ He had, and it hurt. Not just her bottom, in fact the words stung most. Not because her pride had been damaged, but because she knew he was right. “He’s right…” she whispered softly to nobody in particular. She could feel tears stinging at the corners of her eyes, along with the feeling of her throat burning. She felt hands on her upper arms, pulling her up with difficulty.

“Come on,” Rei grunted, “we need to go get into our Evas.”

Asuka allowed herself to be helped up, not saying another word.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Makoto arrived to announce an Angel attack was imminent. Gendo sighed, “Well, it’s settled.” He stood from his desk, pulling his feet from the bucket of lukewarm water that was cooling his feet.

“Excuse me, sir?” Kouzou Fuyutsuki asked, startled by the Commander’s sudden movement.

“Begin preparations to launch the Evangelion manually,” Gendo responded, beginning to descend the ladder that was constructed in the corner of the room in the unlikely case that a complete power failure were to occur.

“But sir,” Kouzou began. It was too late, Gendo was already climbing down the ladder, not listening to the Deputy Commander’s words.

“We still need the pilots…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Children stood at the massive blockage in front of them. The tunnel that would have led them directly to an intersection that was connected to each of their Evangelion loading docks had collapsed right before they would reach the area. Shinji furrowed his brow, “Well, that’s bad luck, isn’t it?” he muttered.

“We have no choice,” Rei stated as she picked up a pipe that had fallen from the wall, “we will just have to use the vents again.”

“I’ll open it,” Shinji said as he walked over to the vent cover and knelt down in front of it, “I need to release some steam, anyways.” He pulled his arm back and drove it forward, bending the metal enough so that it didn’t fit the opening anymore. “Come on,” he waved the girls along.

“Asuka, are you alright?” Rei asked carefully. ‘To pilot, she needs to have a stable mental state, and if she does not I will have to make sure she does before we arrive to our Units.’

Asuka was battling a lot of emotions running through her mind at that moment, primarily ‘Why did I like that?’. She didn’t like being pushed, she didn’t like being told the truth, but she liked how he stood up for himself. The other thought that was running through her mind was ‘Why does it hurt so bad, being yelled at by him?’. Asuka had been in fights before, fights where something similar had been said to her, and they had hurt. Just, they had never hurt this bad before. This one wasn’t just any boy she had rejected, this was Shinji Ikari: the quiet kid who rolled over and took the beating. He never fought back, and maybe that was what bothered her. He finally did fight back. She pushed him over the edge. She pushed him away.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Asuka put up her confident facade, “just thinking about how I’m going to get back at him later,” she lied. She wasn’t going to punish him, it wouldn’t do much anyways. She was going to apologize, and she was going to do it sincerely as well.

“Good, then shall we follow Shinji?” Rei said more than asked.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

Shinji waited for a moment, ‘I should apologize, that was rude of me and so,’ he frowned, ‘out of character. I’ll apologize when we get into our Evas,’ Shinji decided.

Asuka and Rei entered the vent. Shinji looked behind him, feeling a tap on his calf, to find Rei, “Is there something wrong Shinji?”

“No.” With that, the three began to crawl through the vents. After a while, Shinji came upon a vent cover that led to a room below. He stopped, “Hey, I found an opening,” he raised his arm up in preparation to slam down upon it.

“Wait!” Asuka yelled from behind Rei, “You can’t just break something without knowing if we need to first!”

Shinji looked back before he heard a voice come from below him, “Asuka? Hey, is that you?”

“Y-yeah! Hey, is that you Ms. Ritsuko?” Shinji asked, speaking into the opening.

Ritsuko moved into view, “Shinji? Well, I have to say this is a surprise!” She began to step forward.

“Wait! We’re coming down!” Shinji shouted before lifting his arm up and slamming it down onto the grate. It conformed to the shape of Shinji’s arm with the sound of metal grinding against metal, but did not fall until he slammed down his arm a second time. “Aah!” Shinji yelled on his way down. He had put much more of his weight into the second strike and fell through the vent head first. “Ugh…” Shinji groaned in discomfort as he laid on his back.

Rei hopped down, feet first, landing in a squat. She stood up straight, brushing dust off her skirt, “We heard Mr. Hyuga announce the presence of an Angel in the city and hurried.” She turned to Shinji and extended a hand down to him, “Here.”

Before Shinji could take Rei’s hand, Asuka tumbled out of the ventilation shaft just as gracefully as he had, landing directly onto Shinji which withdrew another sound of pain and discomfort from him. “Can you stop landing on me, please?” Shinji strained out.

“What, am I heavy to you~?” Asuka teased as she made an effort to press her weight into his chest. ‘Don’t think because I deserved it means I won’t get my payback for you going off on me~!’

“Y-yeah, you kinda are!” Shinji regretted saying. ‘She’s right, I’m an idiot,’ he thought as he felt the slap coming a second before it actually happened. With that Asuka stood up in a huff and walked towards the room’s exit.

“So how are we going to get Unit 02 out there without any power?”

“Manually, as per the Commander’s orders.” Ritsuko joined Asuka’s side as they exited the room together.

“You should try not saying anything next time,” Rei offered her hand to Shinji again, which this time he was able to accept.

“Yeah,” Shinji grunted as he pulled himself up with Rei’s help, “but then she’d say something like, ‘What’s the matter, can’t breathe? Are you too weak to lift me up?’ or something like that.”

Rei followed behind him as he started to catch up to Ritsuko and Asuka, contemplating his words. ‘She makes it impossible for him to please her,’ she realized why quickly, remembering the conversation that she overheard Asuka eavesdropping on. 

“Magnetism…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, we need one more man to hoist the entry plug into position?”

“Y-yes, s-sir…” Maya Ibuki stumbled. She could handle most of her superiors, after all, they each had a soft side for something or someone. Commander Ikari wasn’t like that, though. Maya was pretty sure he was as cold as he presented himself, ‘He did practically force pain on his own son.’

“Found our pilots, Commander,” Ritsuko announced as she entered. Maya felt the usual warmth in her stomach and chest upon hearing the confident doctor’s voice. She turned her head so she could see the pilots out of the corner of her eye. Asuka walked proudly, but it seemed more reserved than usual. ‘Wow, Shinji sure has changed,’ Maya noted upon seeing Shinji for the first time in months. Last time she saw him was the Mount Asama Incident, where he still had both arms. Now, his hair was longer, he was taller, and his clothes seemed to be tighter. ‘He might be doing those workouts too much…’ Then came Rei, who looked about the same as she usually did.

“Good,” Ikari responded in his tone that always said ‘you’re expendable’, “I was just discussing the need for one more person to help lift the entry plug into position. R-”

“Hey, Shinji, why don’t you do it!” Asuka suggested. Shinji looked at her with a look of great surprise and slightly distraughtness within. She pointed her thumb at him, “He’s strong enough to break these vent covers in two hits, he should be able to help lift the entry plug, right?”

Shinji began to object before Gendo replied approvingly, “If that is true, then it should be no issue. Go on Shinji, that is an order.”

Maya thought she saw Shinji glare daggers into Asuka’s back, but decided that he knew better than to try her. Shinji muttered “fine” and headed straight for the door to Unit 01’s dock, pushing through someone’s shoulder on the way out of the door. “Sorry.” Shinji said harshly.

Misato entered the room looking over her shoulder. She turned around to find Asuka, Fuyutsuki, Gendo, Maya, Makoto, Rei, Ritsuko, and Shigeru all looking at her. “Soooo…” Misato began, swinging her arms at her sides, “What’d I miss?” Misato smiled nervously. 

“No matter,” Gendo interrupted the awkwardness, “you all have a job to do.” He turned around, facing the ladder he had entered the room from, “Now get to it.”

He began to climb. Fuyutsuki sighed, “Be careful, we have no idea what this Angel is capable of,” he turned to Asuka, “and you should try talking to him.” He followed after Gendo once he finished.

Asuka looked around the room, “Hey, why are you all looking at me for?”

Misato sighed, “Hey, Ritz, how’s it going out there?”

“Well,” Ritsuko began, “we have no power, no scanners, no computers, no eyes on the Angel, only five minutes of power for each Eva, and some drama happening with our pilots.”

“So, the usual?” Misato joked. When Ritsuko nodded, she turned towards Rei and Asuka who were now standing next to each other. “Hey, why are you just standing there for? We have an Angel to defeat! Get to your Evas!” Misato ordered with a smile.

“Yes, ma’am!” They both said before they ran towards the door towards their Evangelion Units.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-5:00 Remaining-

Evangelion Units 00, 01, and 02 launch. The Evas travel through the launch paths.

-4:00 Remaining-

The Evas arrive in position underneath the 9th Angel within the launch tube.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So… We’re climbing, huh?” Shinji asked over the comm link.

“Well, this’ll be the fastest way to the surface, right Wondergirl?” Asuka’s face appeared in a small square in front of Shinji. Rei’s square appeared in response.

“Yes, if we each climb backs to each other’s, we will be up there in one minute.”

“Then let’s get going you two!” Asuka commanded.

The pilots began to climb with their weight pushed onto each other’s backs per Rei’s suggestion. They made it about half-way up when Shinji felt his shoulder sting, causing him to gasp in pain.

Shinji’s comms were open, “Hey, are you alright?” Asuka stopped climbing with Rei.

Rei looked up the shaft, “Light…” she realized too late as the cause of the light fell upon the three Children. Asuka and Shinji yelled in pain while Rei grimased, “It’s pouring acid down! We need to move!”

Orange liquid dripped from above, falling onto the Evas in an unsteady stream. Asuka felt Unit 02’s foot begin to slip as a few drops hit the right sole. The grip released and the trio began to fall with Shinji on the bottom. He stretched his Eva’s arms and legs out as much as he could towards the walls of the launch tube, scraping them with his fingertips and his feet. Shinji luckily found a loose panel in the wall that he got a grip on to stop the descent. He looked around him for a way up, or at least out of the acid. His search was interrupted by the weight on his back growing heavier and more focused on the lower back and upper right of his back. He heard the familiar sounds of metal being scraped against metal and saw a few pieces fall around his head into the darkness below and realized a very horrifying thought. The weight grew for a second before it was lifted, and the other weight that was on his legs became heavier and lifted. He felt arms and hands around his own as he was pulled into a ventilation shaft that was large enough for the crouching Evangelion.

Rei peeked Unit 00’s head into the launch tube, “It must be trying to burrow its way into HQ using the potent acid.” A steady stream of said acid began to flow from the top of the tube. Shinji looked down at the power counter, “Battery packs are empty.”

“Yeah, we know dummy!” Asuka shouted, frustrated at the situation. “We dropped our rifles on the way down, and we are too far to throw our knives, meaning-”

“Someone needs to grab the rifle from the bottom, toss it up to someone else while one of us hangs above to protect the others from the acid,” Rei completed flawlessly, leaving Asuka speechless. “I’ll go on defense and hang above.” 

“Hey! You don’t make the decisions here!” Asuka argued defiantly, “Remember who the leader is?”

“Hold on,” Shinji abruptly said. “Rei has a plan that is quick and could work,” he looked down at the power counter again, “and I have about two and a half minutes left on power.” Unit 01 moved to the opening of the shaft, gripping the top of the opening tightly with its right hand. “I’ll go defense, since I don’t know how accurate I’ll be grabbing the rifle or firing it. Asuka, you’re faster and Unit 02’s heavier, so you grab the rifle and toss it up to Rei.” Asuka began to protest Shinji’s claim on Unit 02’s weight before being interrupted by him once more, “We have a plan, let’s execute in ten.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘I’m an idiot,’ Shinji thought to himself as he watched the counter’s seconds tick away.

2:11:00

He heard Asuka protest with what he thought -for a second- was worry before Rei cut her off with “There’s no time for debate!”

2:10:00

Shinji breathed in and out, calming his nerves.

2:09:00

2:08:00

2:07:00

Shinji’s heart started pounding, and his hand began to shake. He eyed it nervously, as the prosthetic really shouldn’t be doing that, at least not this much…

2:06:00

2:05:00

2:04:00

‘Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap…’

2:03:00

2:02:00

2:01:00

‘Here goes nothing!’

2:00:00

Unit 01 gripped tighter onto the opening of the shaft and catapulted itself upwards, planting its feet and hand into the walls of the launch tube with its back towards the enemy. Shinji watched as Asuka slid out of the vent into the darkness below when he felt the acid finally penetrate the armour, causing him to grimace and gasp in pain. It burned, not like fire, but more like when he would be cooking and hot grease would pop and dot his arm with pain. It was similar, but worse in comparison. Rei came out of the vent seconds after Asuka and planted Unit 00 below the vent opening, signalling into the comms that she was in position while Unit 00 reached downwards.

Shinji stopped listening for a moment as the pain in his back overloaded his senses. The acid hurt badly, but not as badly as the pain in his arm. He began to feel each nerve burning away, melting in its place. He struggled not to cry out as he relived the moment his arm was burnt at Mount Asama. Then his brain reminded him of Asuka, the white one that melded into his arm, awakening a new pain. He struggled to hold onto the tube’s walls, he struggled to keep the pain in, and he struggled to clear the image of the grotesque Asuka piercing his melting arm in several places. It all cleared in an instant, “Shinji! Drop right now!” He complied, releasing his footholds and dangled from his fingertips in the tube’s wall.

Rei fired in a straight line up the middle of the tube. In mere seconds, the rifle was empty. All rounds hit their marks in the Angel’s eyeball at the surface, ripping through its body as if it were paper. “Target down.”

“Nice shot, Ms. Perfect,” Asuka teased, “and nice shielding, Moron!” She waited for his reply. “Hey, I’m talking to you, idiot!”

Metal creaked as Unit 01 began to slip from the wall and fell. Rei caught it, but only barely. Unit 01 and Unit 00 fell a moment before Rei found footing to slow their descent. “Shinji? Are you alright? Comm check!” Rei shouted.

“Check!” Asuka complied. Her heart was pounding and was finding difficulty breathing. “Shinji, you idiot, I swear if you are playing a prank on us…” her voice wavered off. ‘If you are playing some joke you won’t have to worry about an Angel killing you,’ she thought angrily, ‘I’ll kill you myself!’

But there was no answer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shinji was face down in what he could tell was a hospital room. The bed was one used for back surgeries, ‘I wonder if I’ll lose my spine next!’ Shinji laughed at the joke, before his mind wandered towards the Nightmares.

Asuka wasn’t the nicest person, but she wasn’t a monster. He knew that, so why was it whenever he dreamed about her it was always her white body mangled into a grotesque amalgamation of tendrils and worm-like tentacles. She always glowed, but that didn’t bother him really. She always did seem to have a certain glow, but it was subtle. What really bothered him was her face, or more accurately what bothered him was her smile. It was sinister, it was unlike anything she had shown him before. Even worse, he couldn’t stop seeing that face. His heart was pounding, and he felt like he couldn’t breathe.

He felt cold, and alone. But mostly alone. His thoughts were interrupted by footsteps on his left. He strained his eyes to be able to see the source and found the socks and shoes of a female student. ‘Rei!’ Shinji felt a smile pulling the edges of his mouth.

“You idiot…” is all Shinji heard. He knew the voice, and it caused his heart rate to spike. He struggled to breathe. Through the sounds of the medical monitors he thought he heard sobbing, but it stopped shortly. He heard Asuka leave the room almost directly afterwards.

He finally got to sleep, but had no sweet dreams. Only horrifying nightmares.

  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angry Shinji and slow burn romance, my favourite! If you enjoyed, let me know with Kudos and comment if you disliked something and think I can do something different so I can improve my writing later on! Anyways, see you next time!


	6. CHAPTER 6: EXTRAORDINARY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Tenth Angel attacks, and Asuka deals with a certain idiotic problem.

CHAPTER 6: EXTRAORDINARY

Asuka awoke with a start. It was the same nightmare again, but this time instead of her mother it was Shinji. Somehow it bothered her more. “Damn that idiot…”

Asuka stretched in bed a moment before slowly getting up and properly stretching each limb. She sighed in comfort and relief. Her nightmares were making her extremely stiff lately. She walked over to her closet to pick out the clothes for the day when she heard the voices of Four-Eyes and the Ape on the other side of the wall. She peeked her head out to find Shinji already dressed standing in front of Kensuke and Touji with their index fingers to their lips. “HEEYYY!” she decided to yell as loud as possible. When they turned to look at her she continued, “what are those two doing here?” 

Shinji gave a perplexed stare before answering, “Uh, staying out of the rain?” Shinji spoke slowly and carefully, not wanting to upset the newly awoken redhead.

“Pff, yeah right!” Asuka stated haughtily, “Obviously they’re here for me!” She gave the meanest glare she could and ended as threateningly as possible, “You peek in here and you’re dead.” She slid the door to her room closed and listened with glee as the Ape began to spew curses and insults at her. Four-Eyes made her laugh when he commented on how she thought she was superior to everyone around her. ‘I AM superior!’ She finished getting her clothes together before exiting the room and headed to the bathroom. 

As she was drying her hair, she overheard Four-Eyes talk about Misato being promoted. ‘Did she really? When did that happen? Why didn’t she tell us?’ were questions that kept her mind occupied during the rainy morning, which helped her stop thinking about the idiot for a little bit.

  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Asuka felt her pod activate, and she closed her eyes. It would take a while for the test to finish, so she reflected on her day. It rained the entire day, giving most people dour moods. Shinji, on the other hand, actually seemed a bit happier than usual. ‘Does he like the rain?’ she wondered at the beginning of class. The lecture was already something she knew, so she primarily doodled and daydreamed through it. Usually, when she daydreamed, she tried to think about going on a date with Kaji or a ride like the night she had hit Shinji’s arm. Today, she instead thought about what would’ve happened had Shinji been unable to save her at Mount Asama. She had died and Shinji blamed himself, cursed himself for it, and vowed to never pilot again. Then, he decided he couldn’t live with the guilt and…

She opened her eyes for a moment to clear the image of Shinji’s dangling feet from her mind before shutting them tighter. Everytime she thought about that nightmare, it made her stomach drop. Usually, it just made her angry. Her mom didn’t have to leave like that, right before she gave the big news of her being selected as the newest Evangelion pilot. It angered her that one of the best days for Asuka was ruined, along with the rest of her childhood. But she had to wonder why she didn’t feel angry whenever Shinji was the nightmare? ‘I owe him a lot, and I still need to pay that debt off. That must be it, I just need to make it up to him and then I can stop feeling guilty about it!’ Asuka reasoned.

The rest of the day was filled with theories on how to repay the debt she had accumulated with Shinji. Buying lunches, introducing him to new music, buying new clothes. None of them felt like they would actually be a valid payment. She -for once- swallowed her pride and went to Rei’s lunch closet to get some advice on how to repay him.

“The debt you owe can’t be paid with money,” Rei stated matter-of-factly. “You have to do something meaningful for him, not buying something temporary like food or clothes.” Rei took a bite of the rice she had packed, “Music is good, but not enough. They have no real feelings of gratitude.”

“Then what should I do, give him a kiss?” Asuka regretted those words as she had to open her eyes again to clear the image of the two of them kissing on Misato’s couch.

But what made the image stick even though she tried her hardest to clear it away was what Rei answered afterwards: “If you want to and you show that you care, yes.”

And so, Asuka had a very hard time concentrating after that. She felt her thoughts drifting to that one image each time she had successfully cleared it away. Shinji holding her tight, foreheads and noses touching, his soft and tender touch of her sides slowly down-

Finally, she shook her head and opened her eyes. She was in the launch test pod, not at the apartment. She closed her eyes and decided to count numbers to clear her head instead. Her day was rather uneventful, after all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Well done, Shinji,” Ritsuko said, “your harmonics level has increased by eight points since last week.”

‘In just ten days?’ Asuka was surprised. It took seemingly forever for her to increase her harmonics by two or three points, and Shinji just got eight? “Whatever! He’s still fifty below me!” Asuka said, reaffirming herself. ‘That’s right, Shinji. Know your place, know that I am still better than you!’

“True, but eight points in just ten days is impressive,” Ritsuko shattered the resolve Asuka built.

“It’s not that special!” Asuka knew it was. ‘I’ve never received any praise for doing my job, and he shouldn’t either!’ She felt her anger rise as she turned towards Shinji, “Must feel good being lavished with praise, huh?” Shinji gave an awkward smile and nervous laugh. Asuka felt she was close to exploding on him and decided the best way to calm herself down was to “Whatever, I’m going home!” Before she left, however, she felt she needed to get back at him for being praised for having less skill than her, so she added a “...loser,” as she turned to leave.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~Three Weeks After Captain Katsuragi Became Major Katsuragi~~~

“What?” Asuka blinked. ‘That’s the plan to defeat the Angel?’ she thought before she continued, “You want us to catch the Angel with our hands?”

“Yep.” Misato answered.

“Uhm, that’s a terrible plan!” Asuka said, “I mean, how do we catch it?”

“AT Fields generated by your Evangelion.” Misato answered with unwavering confidence.

Asuka began to question the logistics of the impossible plan before Shinji asked a few questions of his own, “So, I’m assuming that this will require a miracle to work, right?” Asuka was amazed, ‘Finally, you’re using that brain, Shinji.’

“Basically. Listen, if all goes well I’ll treat you to a steak dinner, deal?” Misato offered.

“Steak!?” Asuka said, with a grain of sarcasm. 

“Wow, a steak dinner! What a great reward!” Shinji said with a bit more sarcasm. Misato nodded and left with orders to prepare for Evangelion launch.

When Misato was out of earshot, Asuka turned and quietly asked, “Think she got the message, Mr. ‘Wow, a steak dinner!’?”

Shinji sighed, “Even if she did, does it matter? If we fail, we die. If we succeed, then what’s the problem, right?”

“Ugh, idiot!” Asuka pulled out a pamphlet of local restaurants she found earlier to take Shinji to (‘Just to repay him’), “It’s motivation! Shouldn’t we get a better reward?” A plot for revenge against Misato formed as she flipped through the pamphlet, “We’ll just go to the most expensive one…”

“There will be plenty of time for the two of you to decide where to eat,” Rei took the pamphlet from Asuka’s hands.

She felt a blush at the insinuation, “Hey, Wondergirl, you’re coming with us, you know that right?”

“No, I won’t. I’m a vegetarian.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘I’m an idiot.’

Asuka stared up at the sky. Even from here, she could see the Angel. It was gigantic. ‘I am such an idiot, maybe even more than him…’

She looked over towards Shinji, who had taken the runner’s stance. Asuka followed suit and put her Unit 02’s hands into position. She awaited the signal from Misato to run and catch the Angel with the AT Field.

“NOW!” Misato’s voice blared over the comms network. Asuka pushed forward and started running. The Angel was over closer to Shinji, so he’d have to catch it. ‘Just don’t drop it…’

Asuka began to run faster. The next time she looked up, she saw Shinji had done it. He caught it, with his bare hands, but there was a problem. It was crushing him. ‘No, no, no, no, no…’

“Double time, Asuka!” Rei yelled. She was close to getting to Shinji, meaning that she would cut through the Angel’s AT Field while Asuka would eliminate the core.

“I’m already on it!” Rei arrived next to Shinji at the top of the hill. She pulled out her progression knife and stabbed into the field, cutting a straight line through it and pulled it open around the core. It was a clear shot, perfect for Asuka’s knife. She pulled the blade from the right shoulder-mounted sheath and gripped it in both hands, “Die you BASTARD!” She put all her strength into the strike. She turned the blade as it stabbed in, making sure the Angel felt every bit of her anger. ‘If anyone’s going to crush him, it’s going to be ME!’ she thought with a rage that was raising her own body’s temperature. She pulled the blade to the side a couple of times to slice more room for it to slide into the eye, for it deserved to suffer. Nothing attacks Shi- humanity and gets away with it!

Finally, after a moment of Asuka pushing her progressive knife deeper into the Angel’s core, she felt the weight of the beast fall entirely upon her and -from her point of view- the other two pilots before the angel exploded. The screens around her went black, “What? No! No, no, no, no, no!” Asuka felt her heart begin to speed up, ‘Is Shinji alright?’ In response Shinji’s face appeared on the comms indicator, “Asuka, are you ok?”

“Y-yeah, I’m fine,” Asuka said, visibly relaxing. She recounted the image that put her into such an enraged state: Unit 01 being crushed into the hill, its arm splitting open. “Arm…” she whispered to herself.

“Asuka?”

“What, Idiot?” Asuka threw up her emotional walls.

“Are you sure you’re ok?” Shinji responded with a look of great concern.

“Yes! Of course I am! What would make you think I’m not?”

“Uhm… You’re crying…”

Asuka’s hand instinctively went straight to her cheek to find a trail of wetness had formed. ‘What’s happening to me?’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Time for you to keep your end of the bargain!” Asuka leaned forward in her seat on the train to look over at Misato with a teasing smile.

“Y-yep!” Misato said nervously, “Don’t worry, I took out lots of money for this, so we should be good!” She added under her breath, “thankfully payday is tomorrow…”

Asuka kept catching Shinji staring from the corner of her eye, and decided to make the trip entertaining at least (for her anyways), “You see something you like, moron?”

“Huh?” Shinji jumped, bumping his left arm into a bar on his side. He grimaced and held it into his stomach.

“Shinji!” Asuka felt her heart skip a beat for a moment as she remembered what his arm looked like earlier from the fight with the Angel. It had a deep gash down the underside of the forearm, and it was bleeding already. Asuka stood up and joined his side, “Let me see.”

Shinji reluctantly held his left arm out for her inspection, to which she gingerly held the wrist and began to undo the bandages. Luckily, -to Asuka’s relief- Shinji had banged the side of his arm. It still hurt, and it wouldn’t be fun to try eating with that arm, but it would heal in a few days. The stitches were still intact as well, which was the main focus of her inspection. She spoke once she had finished looking the arm over, “Well, it doesn’t look damaged. The stitches are still tight and it isn’t bleeding too much.” She began re-wrapping the bandages around his arm, “But be more careful next time.”

When Asuka finished wrapping his arm again, she saw Shinji looked like he was expecting something. Asuka sighed, “You’re welcome.”

“O-oh, thanks you,” Shinji stumbled.

Asuka stood up and began to return to her seat, “...Idiot.” She sat down, finding Shinji had received the expected nickname and out of the corner of her eye she found Misato looking down at her with a knowing glance. Asuka knew that look was more trouble than her usual teasing one, ‘Crap.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Asuka laid her head back against the pillow, ‘Why can’t I sleep?’ She always had trouble with sleeping, but not getting to sleep. It was always the nightmares, but they never stopped her from sleeping. This was different, however. Every time she closed her eyes, she felt a cold pang in her heart. ‘I wonder how Shinji sleeps,’ a stray thought entered the front of her mind, and she wasn’t doing much else so she decided to think about it. Asuka remembered the Seventh Angel, and then remembered the night before the final fight with it. She had a similar problem, she couldn’t get to sleep and needed to roam a bit. Asuka stood up, and walked around her -at the time- empty room. It didn’t help, in fact it made her even more restless. She decided maybe a late night snack would help her situation. She slid -well, more slammed- open the door. Asuka froze as she found the person she despised most at that moment laying on the floor: Shinji Ikari. That night Misato was out late at NERV, leaving the two together alone. She thought he would’ve gone to his bead, although that was impossible. She had stolen his room and thrown his things into the hallway.

That night, Asuka saw him. Shinji laid peacefully in the moon’s glow, softening his features. He was on his side, facing away from her, and listening to his SDAT. He looked so soft, too soft actually. She took a step forward. The another. Then another. Each step brought a new perspective of his features that made her realize that he wasn’t just one person, he could be many. One step made his face seem more muscular, more defined. Another one made it seem so soft and kind, like he would hold her tightly around the stomach and make every nightmare disappear. That’s what she had banked on. So, Asuka lied down on her side, facing him. She looked at him in the light, and saw his lip quivering slightly. She wondered how it would feel, and began to move her head forward slightly before she pushed thought away as fast as she could. She needed sleep, so she could defeat the Angel the next day. Her eyelids grew heavy, and she drifted to sleep.

Asuka thought about that night a lot, it usually helped ease her into rest. But not tonight. Tonight she kept thinking about his lips, his soft cheeks, mostly about his nice hair. ‘Fuck it.’ She shot up out of her bed and opened the door, much more carefully than the night before she fought the Seventh Angel. She tip-toed through Misato’s apartment down the hall to Shinji’s door. She hesitated, she was wanting to find a reason to tell her to not do this. Anything. The first reason that came was ‘he’s a pervert!’ but she knew that wasn’t a good reason. Shinji might be stronger, and he might be a slight pervert, but he wouldn’t do anything. He wasn’t that kind of person. She sighed, ‘In for a penny…’

The door slowly slid open. Shinji looked like he was asleep, and that was all she needed. She silently closed the space between her and the bed, watching for any movement on Shinji’s part. All she spotted, however, was his soft chest movements as he breathed. She had arrived at the bed. It was curious how he slept. The bed could only fit in the room if it was pushed against the wall, and Shinji chose to sleep on that side’s edge while he faced his body away from the door. But it was odd because it looked like enough space for Asuka to lay on her back and still not touch him. She lifted the sheet, glad to find he wore clothes to bed. She remembered certain stories overheard from other boys at the school where they didn’t wear clothes to bed as it was much more comfortable. She climbed into the bed carefully, as to not disturb the other occupant. ‘...In for a pound.’

She closed her eyes and went to sleep almost immediately, with no nightmares nor dreams. Just the warm void of true rest.

  
  
  


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	7. CHAPTER 7: EMOTIONS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinji's perspective on Asuka changes after visiting his mother's grave with his father and contemplating what has happened to him since he first arrive in Tokyo-3.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to let you know, there is some sexual content (not explicit, just HEAVILY implied). If you want to skip that, I can't really tell you where to skip to so there is a summary of the entire chapter in the ending notes. I hope you enjoy either and continue to hope you will read! P.S. I accidentally had comments disabled but now they are open for anyone to comment, so I hope you do. As always, Kudos are appreciated and constructive criticism comments are even better. Anyways, see you next time!

CHAPTER 7: EMOTIONS

Misato looked from Asuka to Shinji. She was surprised -no- she was dumbfounded. Asuka really was just lying in Shinji’s bed. She would smile, but honestly she was worried. Shinji was never really good at hiding his feelings, and it didn’t seem like he had feelings for Asuka. Asuka was quite good at hiding her feelings, and she just went all-out on what appears to be a confession of sorts. So how does Shinji turn her down without hurting her feelings or worse? ‘He’s stuck,’ Misato realized. Shinji couldn’t do a thing to get himself out of this situation. She thought about waking Asuka alone and pulling her out of the room, but then Misato would have a hard time with her so she decided that this was Shinji’s problem.

About five minutes later, Asuka woke up and remembered last night’s events perfectly. She threw the sheet off of her and quietly ran to her room. ‘Good, it’s early enough that Misato couldn’t have seen me there and he hasn’t woken up yet,’ Asuka thought and was affirmed by Misato walking through the hall knocking on the doors to wake the children up. Asuka, confident that she was in the clear, began to get ready for school.

Misato knocked on Shinji’s door, “Wake up, sleepyhead!” Shinji shot up. It was a long night. He usually didn’t go to sleep very early, and when Asuka climbed into bed with him he didn’t go to sleep at all. The entire night he tried to get as far away from her as possible, but being trapped between her and the wall it was impossible to escape. He never really thought about the possibility of Asuka having feelings for him, and for good reason. She rarely called him by his name, save for dire circumstances when fighting an Angel or when she was truly angry at him. The night was a nightmare worse than any other he had experienced before. First, Asuka climbed into the bed. Next, his SDAT died. Then, his left arm went numb. Then, he had to pee. Throughout the night he kept getting itches in various locations he couldn’t scratch due to Asuka being right behind him. When Misato knocked on his door he found himself filled with joy and dread. It made him want to cry. Being around Asuka would be awkward, being around Misato could be awkward, and he couldn’t exactly tell Kensuke or Touji about it as they’d probably confront her about it or disbelieve him entirely. So, he decided to keep his mouth shut.

Asuka took one look at Shinji and realized that she was very wrong. He looked like he had died inside and was beginning to show it on the outside. He even ate Misato’s breakfast, which shouldn’t even be possible for a human. Shinji looked at her from the corner of his eye. ‘He knows,’ she confirmed. “So, how’d you sleep last night, Shinji?” she asked, trying to put as much edge to the words as possible without notifying Misato to the situation. It backfired, as Misato took her words as meaning that Shinji was fully aware and consensual.

“Good,” Shinji responded quietly.

“Good,” Asuka mirrored.

The air grew still. Tension was rising and Misato decided to cut it, “Well, I think it’s about time you two head to school!”

Shinji responded first, “Right!” He leapt from the table, grabbing his bag and heading straight for the door. Asuka followed him with her eyes.

“Well, are you just gonna let him go alone? That isn’t the best thing to do here, y’know?” Misato winked at Asuka.

“What?” Asuka asked, realizing that she was fully wrong and the one who she  **really** didn’t want to know did in fact know.

Misato only looked at Asuka with a shit-eating grin. Asuka quickly left to escape the situation. ‘They really are too cute,’ Misato thought to herself as Asuka rushed out the door in a similar fashion to Shinji.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shinji hadn’t told anyone. Asuka knew he wouldn’t, but she didn’t want him getting the wrong idea, so she confronted him about the night she lied in his bed. She told him she just was cold and that he had a warmer blanket and thought he was asleep and didn’t think he’d mind. He visibly relaxed, and admitted he was worried that she had a crush on him. She denied the accusation, of course, but the mention of her having a crush on him of all people did set her off. It also sowed a seed of a thought in her mind that grew over the passing weeks.

‘I don’t have a crush on him!’

Asuka kept thinking about all of the things she disliked about him. ‘He isn’t manly enough!’ was crushed like the vent covers Shinji had punched. She still thought about how powerful he seemed whenever he had driven his fist into the metal plate. ‘He’s a pervert!’ was quickly dashed, as she remembered the source of that thought. That was on the Over The Rainbow naval carrier and the wind picked up a bit too much. ‘He’s an Idiot!’ was not as easily knocked down, but eventually she realized what Shinji was. He wasn’t an idiot, he just didn’t always think things through. He was more oblivious than anything else. She realized that she really didn’t dislike Shinji, just the way he made her feel. 

‘I don’t think I have a crush on him… do I?’

She took about a week to find her answer. She found herself looking in his direction when he walked by, or studying his form when they would perform their activation test. She found herself interested in the most uninteresting things about him, like how he held his chopsticks, how he fiddled with his prosthetic arm, or how he would tap his foot from side to side in time with his head bouncing while listening to his SDAT. How his hair swayed with each bounce…

‘Oh no…’

Asuka finally admitted to herself that she kind of liked him. He was no Kaji, who was more manly, more handsome, more charming in every way than Shinji. But Shinji did have a few things Kaji didn’t, which wasn’t much. She pulled her phone from her pocket, placing her broom against the school hallway wall. She decided to call Kaji. She was going to get over these feelings for Shinji, he wasn’t as good as Kaji and couldn’t be. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Asuka and Shinji arrived home. Asuka watched as Shinji went straight to his room. ‘That’s unusual, even for that shut-in,’ she noted. Something was on his mind, obviously. She approached his door, “Hey, Idiot! I’m hungry, want to make me some lunch?” There was no response. “Hey! I’m talking to you!” she banged on the door a few more times before he answered.

“Leave me alone,” Shinji deadpanned. 

Asuka never liked it when Shinji began to act like his father, it intimidated her a little. She knocked again, “Do you want me to fix something then?”

“No. I want you to leave me alone,” Shinji repeated in his father’s tone.

‘Fine, I’ll ask Misato later,’ Asuka decided. She went to her room and undressed, putting on a pair of shorts and a loose fitting shirt. She then got a bag of potato chips and laid down on the floor in the living room while surfing the channels available.

Hours later, Misato finally returned home seeing Asuka and Pen-Pen on the ground in front of the television, “Hey guys, you enjoying yourselves?”

“Yeah,” Asuka answered, full of disinterest and potato chips without taking her eyes off the screen.

Misato looked around her, “Where’s Shinji?”

“He went into his room and hasn’t come out,” Asuka put a few chips into her mouth, “he was kind of an ass, know why?”

Misato’s face took on a look of solemn understanding, “Oh, yeah I know why.” She stared at Shinji’s door, knowing none of this would be easy.

“Then tell me, ‘cause he wouldn’t tell me,” Asuka asked with slight irritation. 

“Tomorrow, he’s going to visit his mother’s grave,” Misato glanced at Asuka’s reaction from the corner of her eye. Asuka looked like she was empathizing with Shinji. “He’s seeing his father as well.”

“Oh,” Asuka deadpanned, “I don’t really understand, what’s up with him and his father?”

“Many things,” Misato answered. “Has he said anything?”

“I think I heard him grunt a couple of times, but that’s it.”

Misato “hmm”-ed and walked over to Shinji’s room. She looked through the cracked doorway to witness a shirtless boy with sweat dripping down his back as he did push-ups. ‘I’ll talk to him later…” Misato decided as she turned towards the bathroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shinji woke up and regretted his actions of the prior night. His arms still burned, his legs felt like jelly, and he could feel his pulse in his abs. He looked to his right, “Shit, I forgot to take off my arm,’ he looked at his clock, ‘not enough time to charge it.’ Shinji flopped his left arm over to ‘the bone’ and began to struggle to disconnect his arm from it. He finally got it off and continued to struggle while he got up and plugged the charger in. He walked over to his dresser and slowly got dressed. 

Shinji exited through the front door to hear tapping feet and a questioning “skra”. “Hey, Pen-Pen, I’m off,” Shinji waved ‘bye’ to the penguin before the door closed. Shinji began his long walk.

A few hours later and he stood there at his mother’s grave. He placed the flowers he had bought earlier against the tombstone. “Hope you’re doing well, Mom,” Shinji said as he stood up straight again. He heard the footsteps, but felt the energy behind them more. “Hello, father.”

“Hello, Shinji,” Gendo spoke in his cold tone.

“So, this is all that’s left of her, huh?” Shinji asked, trying to remember his mother’s face.

“No,” Gendo deadpanned, “the truth is, this grave itself is a farce.” Gendo looked away from his wife’s tombstone, “Her body was never recovered.”

“Oh,” Shinji said with great disappointment. ‘He really got rid of everything, huh?’

Gendo turned back to the helicopter, “I have run out of time.” He walked back to the helicopter, leaving Shinji to look on as the vehicle climbed into the sky.

Shinji sighed, “Guess I should start heading home now, mom.” He turned towards the direction of Tokyo-3 and began his longer walk back wishing his father had offered to give him a ride.

While he travelled back home, he was left alone with his thoughts. He thought about his father, and pondered the possibilities of why Gendo had treated him this way all of his life. The furthest he could remember was Gendo leaving him alone in a similar manner to that morning. He was four and his mother had just died, and he left. Shinji knew the reason why, Gendo had told him why. ‘I had no use to him.’ Shinji remembered about four months ago, the day he had arrived in Tokyo-3 and had to pilot Unit 01 so Rei wouldn’t be forced to. The image of Rei covered in bandages on a stretcher with an IV bag hung on a stand appeared clearly in his mind. He remembered how she had grimaced and hissed in pain when the hangar shook and she fell off the stretcher. “Bastard,” Shinji spat, feeling his blood begin to boil. Gendo Ikari never acted kind to anyone, at least not to Shinji. The nicest thing his father had ever done for him was after the Tenth Angel attacked, when he praised his son for -possibly- the first time in his life. Shinji barred his teeth. He started to imagine what could’ve happened had his father never called him to Tokyo-3.

He would be at his old teacher’s home, practicing the cello. He would play for an hour or two then slice an apple to eat, ‘with both of my real hands.’ Shinji looked at his stump. He never saw it as real, it might give the resemblance of realism, but it wasn’t. It was just a hunk of metal. He always said that the pain was off and on, but in truth it never seemed to stop. Lessen, sure, but it never truly stopped. He gave his hand up, for what? Heroics? Humanity? “Asuka…”

Shinji thought about her. Asuka wasn’t very kind to him, but Shinji couldn’t see her jabs and insults towards him as being truly genuine. She showed she cared about him, in her own way. ‘Why is she always so… closed off?’ He wondered. He couldn’t understand why she never opened up to anyone. He remembered when the Ninth Angel attacked and Shinji lashed out at her. She always pushed him, and that was fine. He still felt bad about that moment though, when he pushed her. Asuka wasn’t hurt, but he knew that it wasn’t right what he had done. That day was awful for reasons other than the Angel attack, his-

“Father.” Shinji felt his hate grow. He remembered his father’s final words to him on the phone, ‘“I have no time for trivial matters!”’ His father didn’t care about him. To Gendo, Shinji was just a means to an end. A tool, ‘A weapon.’ He looked at his stump again, remembering every bad thing that he had experienced. Unit 01. The Third Angel. The Fourth. The Fifth. Every fight Shinji lost something, he knew he did, and some more than others. When Asuka arrived, though he certainly didn’t have a good first impression of her, he couldn't find anything he had lost during that battle with the Sixth Angel. “Asuka…” he thought about her on that day. Gendo wasn’t involved much in that mission. Shinji began to think about all his interactions with Asuka: she slapped him, kicked him, berated him with names, and generally was just mean towards him. But he still gave his arm for her, why? ‘She cares about me more than my own father does,’ Shinji realized. ‘I should thank her for that.’

Shinji thought about Asuka in her yellow sun dress. He smiled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Asuka saw Hikari do a small hop and wave inside the restaurant. “Why did I agree to this?” she asked herself before entering the building.

The place was fancy, she could give it that. The food was pretty good, and the service was fine. The tables were set neatly with fine dinery that seemed more like plates you’d place in a cabinet for decoration. Along with that, the building’s architecture was intricate and beautiful, there was even a Sistine Chapel styled ceiling painting. But Asuka was dissatisfied by it all. The painting was suitable for a museum or something of the like, not a fine dining restaurant. It was distracting, and the intricate designs in the walls and supports of the building were the same way in their flashiness. She didn’t really want to use the plates or cutlery due to their expensiveness, and the flowers set in the middle of the table were extravagant for anyone’s tastes. She just couldn’t get into it at all. She thought about Hikari’s reasoning on why Asuka couldn’t just go alone, ‘“He brought a friend along and insisted that you and I went on a double date, and he seemed nice so…”’ Asuka stopped listening shortly afterwards. Hikari just couldn’t say no very well unless she was in the middle of class. Asuka took another bite of her grilled salmon, she could only think about how its quality was sub-par. It certainly met her expressed tastes, but she knew she was spoiled by quite possibly the greatest chef she had ever known. She sighed, ‘This would be much more fun with Shinji…’ She cursed herself for even putting the feeling into words as she imagined what a date with him would be like.

She would be her usual self, just less mean. Shinji, meanwhile, would be absolutely starstruck by her beauty and trip all over himself every single chance there was. She knew that wasn’t what would happen, though. Shinji wouldn’t consider it a date, just dinner with a colleague. It’d be nicer though, if she was honest with herself, if they both just went to a casual place and just acted themselves. They could laugh, joke, and be actual friends for once. But there was one problem with her fantasy: she couldn’t see Shinji’s smile. She kept trying to remember his smile, but failed. She realised she had never seen him smile, or even act happy much less.

Asuka wiped her mouth with the napkin and excused herself to the bathroom, raising her eyebrows at Hikari in an attempt to say ‘join me’. Hikari wasn’t feeling the date either, and happily joined her. They were able to slip out of the restaurant through the kitchen and leave.

“I’m so sorry! That was awful!” Hikari said, rubbing the back of her neck.

“Yeah, those guys were total push-overs,” Asuka agreed. “You need some train money?”

“Oh, no,” Hikari said while she shook her head and hands, “I still have my purse with me!” She held up her purse in response.

“Alright,” Asuka gave a small smile, “take care of yourself, if anyone gets fresh with you call me, got it?” She punched her palm.

“I doubt there’ll be a need to,” Hikari said nervously, “but I will call in case anything happens, ok?”

“Good.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shinji felt pretty good. He got home after hours of walking and felt refreshed by the air, exercise, and his cleared head. He got a glass of water and grabbed his cello. He practised for about an hour before his left hand’s fingers had begun to hurt. He replaced his cello and decided to keep busy and complete his homework. Fifteen minutes later, through his SDAT’s music he heard the front door open and close. He turned towards the door to find Asuka in her sundress. She was stunning, to say the least. Her hair caught his attention more than anything else. It took a full minute and Asuka shouting to knock him off the clouds, “S-sorry, what?” Shinji said as he took one earbud out.

“I said ‘When you’re done staring, could you make some food?’” Asuka stated, full of irritation.

“Oh, I guess the date didn’t go well?” Shinji said as he stood up and made his way towards the kitchen.

Asuka laid onto her back on the table and sighed, “Not really, the guy Hikari set me up with was okay but not up to my standards.” She watched as Shinji pulled the apron over his head and tie the straps behind him. She would be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy watching him cook.

“Alright, well, I’ll see what I can make. Misato hasn’t gone shopping yet, so it might not be much.” Shinji began to search through the cabinets, cupboards, and the refrigerator and found some ramen packs and several spices. He frowned, “Uhm, Asuka, we only have these instant ramen packs…”

“That’s fine, just cook!” Asuka yelled, covering the sound of her stomach growling. After a moment, she added a quiet “please”.

“Alright!” Shinji said gleefully. He was always happy to cook, especially for a pretty girl. There was no doubt she was good looking, especially for her age, but tonight she was different. Shinji’s mind kept wandering back to Asuka in that dress in the hallway. She didn’t look angry, in fact she looked surprised to see him. ‘She looked cute,’ Shinji admitted, knowing that if Asuka could read minds he would be getting pummeled the second he had that thought. He remembered her hair in all its shining splendor. She also was just, less menacing in general. She usually stood with her hands on her hips and her back slightly arched in a way that reminded Shinji of a proud cat. He was glad his back was towards Asuka so she couldn’t see him blush. He kept thinking about her as he cooked and how hypnotizing she was. He finished cooking the instant ramen and poured a bowl for each of them. “Finished.”

Asuka almost jumped off the table, “Took you long enough!” she said with excitement. Shinji placed the bowl at one end of the table while he sat at the other end. She got stuck on the first bite. ‘Shinji could make almost anything taste delicious!’ Asuka admitted. The noodles were so soft they practically melted in her mouth, and the broth was seasoned with various spices and herbs and had a touch of milk. It wasn’t made to look pretty or fancy like that food at the restaurant. Shinji made sure first and foremost that the food was delicious, then he went for aesthetics. ‘He cares about what’s on the inside rather than the out.’

Shinji ate quickly and silently. He looked up a few times to gauge Asuka’s reaction, but usually stared. He washed his bowl and as he turned the water off Asuka placed her bowl into the sink, “So, good enough?”

“Better than that fancy restaurant’s grilled salmon,” Asuka said honestly. ‘Better than most foods I’ve had, actually.’

“I’m glad,” Shinji responded as he washed her bowl. She walked back to the table and laid on her back on the table once again, watching Shinji from behind. ‘Why does this feel so weird?’ She wondered. The room was tense, but not in a bad way. She felt warm, very warm. She knew what that feeling meant, but not exactly what the atmosphere was. It was unusual. While Asuka was lost in her thoughts, Shinji had taken his homework into the living room and had replaced his SDAT’s earbuds. She studied his features: his facial features all worked well together to create a cute boy rather than a handsome one, which was fine. Shinji never tried to act manly, that was just who he was. He lied whenever it came to how he was feeling so others wouldn’t worry, and would try to figure out other’s problems and try to help indirectly. She began to wonder, though, why wasn’t he dating anyone? He had plenty of girls in his class and around the school who wanted to date him, and he’d have no problem winning one over with his cooking, so why hadn’t he already? Asuka saw three possibilities: either Shinji was gay -which she found unlikely-, he was into Rei -not unlikely, but also he didn’t seem to be into her romantically-, or Touji and Kensuke were right. ‘Let’s do a test then…’ Asuka began to form her plan in her head. “Hey! Shinji!”

Shinji took out an earbud, “Y-yes?”

“Wanna kiss?” Shinji’s reaction was slightly different than what she had expected. He didn’t seem to be flattered or flustered, just confused. ‘Dammit! Why is he cute?’

“Uhhhh…” Shinji couldn’t think. On the outside, he might’ve looked confused but collected and calm. On the inside, however, his mind was racing, ‘Why would she want to kiss me?’ So he decided to ask, “...why?”

Asuka felt a little bit of panic creep into her mind but she didn’t show it, “Because, I’m bored and there’s nothing to do!” Asuka planned for him to ask why, but she didn’t plan on him being so difficult to read, ‘In for a penny…’ “So, do you want to?”

Shinji looked at her for a moment, ‘Bored? She isn’t serious, is she?’ She looked like she was scheming something, so Shinji treaded lightly, “I mean, there’s video games if you’re bored.”

‘There’s the deflection,’ Asuka noted. Her plan was going accordingly, “Are you really going to turn down a kiss from yours truly?” she laughed.

It was working, “N-no, i-it’s not like that.” He looked around nervously, looking for an out, looking for a chance to escape from her plan. ‘What am I going to do?’

“Then get over here and kiss me!” Asuka demanded. ‘I’ll probably have to go over to him and initiate, though,’ she determined, ‘that’ll skew the results of the test…’ She began to think ahead before her thoughts were cut off by Shinji.

“Alright.”

Asuka was surprised, ‘Well, I guess I know the results of the test, then.’ As he approached her heart’s pace quickened with excitement, her breathing became faster, and her body was burning up. ‘Come on, hurry it up!’

Meanwhile, Shinji approached with two thoughts in his mind: ‘She’s tricking me,’ and ‘If I refuse she’ll just make fun of me so I might as well go for it.’ He realised too far in that this would be his first kiss and he had no idea what he was doing. ‘Shit, shit, shit, shit, sh-’

Asuka kept sitting on the table as Shinji got closer and closer, eventually closing the distance between them to the point where each could feel each other’s breath against their lips. Simultaneously, both shared the same thought, ‘That tickles.’ Asuka felt the urge to hold his nose closed, but before she could grab it Shinji cupped her cheek with his left hand while he placed his right on her waist. He initiated, and closed his eyes during it. Shinji just lightly pressed his parted lips against hers and hoped she’d lead him through it. 

Asuka felt sparks of electricity coursing through her body. She couldn’t think, she acted purely on instinct. She wrapped her arms around Shinji’s neck while closing her eyes, focusing on every feeling she was experiencing at that moment. His lips were soft, almost too soft, like nothing she’d felt before. They weren’t wet like hers were, causing them to stick together. Asuka didn’t mind. Shinji wasn’t pushing too hard, wasn’t pulling back, he was just letting her take control. 

Shinji was frozen, ‘What the hell did I just do?’ he lightly caressed her cheek while studying the situation. She asked him to kiss her, he did, and now they were. He felt her damp lips and felt the contrasting dryness of his. He felt her hands on the back of his neck, her fingers running through his hair. It felt… good. He didn’t know why, it just did. He knew there was a problem, but chose to ignore it. ‘It’ll go away if I ignore it.’

Asuka disconnected, causing both to open their eyes. She stared into his eyes, seeing an unfamiliar but shared look. She smiled, causing Shinji to return a nervous one. She moved back in, placing his bottom lip in the parting of her’s. Shinji felt her tongue lightly poke his bottom lip, causing it to slicken. Asuka pushed too hard and her tongue went through his parting and into his mouth, causing both eyes to shoot open, neither moving. Shinji didn’t have enough time to pull away to ask what she was doing before Asuka locked her legs around his hips and held him in place, batting her tongue around his mouth. She closed her eyes, focusing on exploring his mouth and all of its wetness while ignoring her own. Shinji tried to focus, keeping his hips as far as he could away from her’s. He began to follow suit, though, and began exploring her mouth as well. He lost the mental battle, allowing himself to be pulled onto the table. They kept kissing and exploring for a moment until they couldn’t ignore their problems anymore, feeling eachother on top of the table.

Shinji pulled away, his face flushed with embarrassment, “I-I-I’m s-so s-sorry!” Shinji began to get off the table and made his way towards the bathroom. He passed Asuka’s door before he felt his shirt collar yanked backwards while he heard the door slide open.

“In for a pound!” Asuka breathed out before pulling him into the bedroom and slamming the door shut, glad she had multiple plans for what was coming next.

  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unknown to Asuka or Shinji, Misato finds Asuka in Shinji's bed and begins to worry about Shinji's feelings for her and vice versa. Asuka wakes afterwards, believing nobody knows about her staying in his bed. Shinji didn't sleep out of fear of Asuka, which she sees and realizes. She asks how he slept, which he answers "Good", convincing Misato that he is fully consensual. Asuka realizes when Shinji leaves for school that Misato also knows and is worried. In the next few weeks, Asuka questions her feelings for Shinji. Shinji visits his mother's grave with his father. They are cold and distant towards each other and leave with negative feelings. Shinji begins walking home while he thinks about how many of the painful experiences have been related to his father in some way, then begins to question his feelings for Asuka while remembering mostly good experiences with her. While Shinji returns to Misato's apartment, Asuka goes on a double date with Hikari that keeps reminding her of how she'd rather be with Shinji. The girls leave and head home. Asuka arrives at the apartment hungry and dissatisfied by the food from her date and asks him to cook for her, which he gladly does. Asuka then decides to test Shinji's feelings by asking him to kiss her, which he accepts and kisses her. They make out on the kitchen table and continue the rest in Asuka's room, where they fully explore their feelings for each other.
> 
> Hey! Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy and I also hope it doesn't sound weird. P.S. I looked it up and the consenting age in Japan is 13 and the characters are canonically 14 so I'm not putting underage as a tag, hope you understand! Anyways, until next time!


	8. CHAPTER 8: BLOSSOMS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asuka and Shinji decide to take the day off after sleeping in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: There is no explicit sexual content, just referenced.

CHAPTER 8: BLOSSOMS

Asuka breathed in deeply. She opened her eyes slowly, blinking the sleep out of them. She looked out towards the window. It was bright, too bright. ‘Fuck.’

Her body was sore from the night before, but it wasn’t anything that a hot bath and stretches couldn’t fix. ‘Time to get up,’ Asuka knew she needed to get up, get ready for school and return to regular life. She didn’t though, she was too comfortable, especially since she was using the boy under her as a pillow. She knew he had been keeping fit so his prosthetic would be easier to maneuver, and he didn’t build a ton of muscle. Instead, he got an intense definition that amazed her. He wasn’t overly defined, just enough to show he had strength and make him more attractive and comfortable to lay on. Asuka traced her finger along Shinji’s chest, over the various scars along it. Shinji stirred awake, “Hmmph,” he grumbled, “can you stop that? It tickles…” Shinji trailed off sleepily.

“Tell me about this scar,” Asuka tapped a large, circular scar in the middle of the sternum. 

Shinji’s eyes shot open. He remembered what happened last night, he just thought it was a dream. Who wouldn’t in his shoes, though? Asuka never showed any interest towards him, at least not any he picked up on. She even admitted to having a crush on Kaji. Then, she asked him if he wanted to kiss her and then things escalated. ‘What the fuck just happened?’

“What?” Shinji looked down at Asuka. She had her head resting against his breast. She seemed to glow, the sun played off her skin and hair perfectly. ‘She’s beautiful…’ was the first thing that came to his awakened mind. He couldn’t see her face -which he was glad he couldn’t, he probably couldn’t contain himself like he was barely able to at the moment-, but he could see her hair. It was messy, but it was even more captivating now with the natural light on it. She began to look up at him and he quickly placed his head back down.

Asuka felt her heart grow heavier, ‘Did he just avoid me?’ she wondered, ‘How could he avoid looking at me? Especially after what we just did!’ She would question him later, she was more wondering about his scars at the moment. “I said, tell me about this scar,” Asuka jabbed her finger into the center of the scar. It was a series of several perfectly circular rings. It resembled a bullseye, and Asuka didn’t like it. How could he have gotten an injury like that, though?

“O-oh, that one?” Shinji said without looking at her, “That was from the Fifth Angel. Unit 01 was hit when I reached the surface.”

“How did it feel?” Asuka asked, pushing herself a little bit higher on Shinji’s body, causing him to grunt.

“It hurt,” Shinji replied with a huff.

‘Does he not like this…?’ Asuka wondered, feeling that weight on her heart and her insecurity growing, ‘Is it me?’ She steeled herself, “I know that, idiot, I meant how did it feel besides the pain?”

“Uhh, why?” Shinji was confused as to why she wanted to know and looked down to find the top of her head a few centimeters away from his lips.

Asuka looked up, finding Shinji’s face very close and she had another test planned, “Because, I was bored~” she said as seductively as possible. She leaned in and kissed him. Shinji closed his eyes as he was lost in the moment, Asuka found out when she felt him pushing against her leg. She broke the kiss and smiled, ‘Either he really is a pervert, or-’ 

Shinji decided to roll with it. He tried to cup her face with his right hand, but instead hit her in the face with the limp, uncharged prosthetic hand. She recoiled, straightening up. Shinji, following his instincts, detached the prosthesis and sat up to continue kissing her. He grabbed behind her head at the base of the skull and pulled her in.

‘I guess I have an answer,’ Asuka thought as she let her own instincts take over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They panted as they laid on both of their backs. They soon returned to full consciousness after their stomachs growled. “Shinji, could you-” Asuka began before Shinji started to get up out of the bed.

“Yeah, I’ll go make breakfast.” Shinji exited the room and turned towards his room. Asuka got up and grabbed a pair of panties, a loose fitting shirt, and the pair of condoms. As Shinji entered the hall, she held the condoms out for him to dispose of. He took them and moved on to the kitchen while Asuka entered the bathroom.

Asuka entered the bathroom and closed the door behind her. She turned on the water and examined herself in the mirror. She studied her messy and sweat damp hair, her glistening skin, and her old make-up from last night’s date that had faded greatly and mixed with her sweat. She thought about all the girls from college that told her about how her body would change after sex and she’d look different. ‘I look like shit,’ she noted as she turned around, stopped the water, and climbed into the bathtub. She couldn’t contain her moan. The water felt too good on her exhausted body. She forgot about her soreness when they kissed, and she did slightly regret having sex with Shinji so early in the morning when their bodies were so tight and sore from the first night, but that was overshadowed by the memory of the experience and what the experience itself meant to her. It was an answer, a reciprocation of Shinji’s feelings. The first time could’ve been his own virginity and primal arousal. The second was his choice. When she was hit in the face with the metal hand, it was more surprising than painful. For a moment, she thought she was being rejected. She thought Shinji might have, for a moment, wanted to be with another person and was picturing Asuka as a different person. ‘Rei…’

Asuka smiled. She had beaten Wondergirl, the perfect pretty thing for the Ikaris. Asuka wouldn’t admit the fact, but sometimes she was jealous of the relationship between Rei and Shinji. ‘Not anymore.’

She relaxed her body further, allowing each muscle to float, attempting to release all tension in them. She sighed, ‘That idiot better be making me the best damn breakfast in the world,’ Asuka thought with a smile, closing her eyes to fully appreciate and relax in the bath water. She started to imagine the rest of the day’s events, just the two of them. ‘Here’s your payback, Shinji.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shinji threw on a pair of pants and a tank-top. He exited his room to find Asuka holding the used condoms in front of his chest. He grabbed them, thinking of discreet ways to dispose of them in order to hide their activities. He heard Asuka close the bathroom door behind him as he made his way towards the kitchen. He thought of the items on his mental to-do list: ‘Throw these away, make breakfast, take a bath, talk to Asuka about-’ Shinji froze in his tracks.

“I may be a drunkard, Shinji, but I’m not a stupid drunk,” Misato said from the kitchen table. She looked at Shinji’s hand, “You can toss those into the garbage there,” she nodded towards the garbage can and he complied. “Take a seat.”

Shinji moved his hand towards the back of the chair, but hesitated. ‘Breakfast,’ Shinji moved towards the fridge, ‘she’ll be less angry if she has breakfast.’ He opened the door and pulled out the carton of eggs while Misato began to speak, “Are you listening?” Shinji nodded. “Good. Now, I’m sure you know how to be safe,” Shinji cracked an egg into a bowl. “I’m not mad, just,” Misato sighed, “a little surprised is all. I didn’t know you felt that way about her,” he stopped whisking the eggs for a moment before he continued. “I always made jokes and teased the two of you, but I didn’t think you’d actually do it,” she paused a moment before she gave a sly smile, “So, how long have you two been going at it?” Shinji immediately stiffened. Misato laughed, “Come on! You can tell me, Shinji~” she scooted closer to him, “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.” Shinji looked over his shoulder, eyeing Misato, “Well, except Ritsuko, she needs to know about this for medical reasons.” He turned his attention back towards putting the whisked eggs into a pan on the stovetop. Misato sighed at Shinji’s silence, “Alright, don’t talk to me. But you’d better not miss anymore school because of your…” struggled to find the right words, “...your relationship? Because if it becomes a problem we will need to solve it.” Shinji poured the eggs onto three plates, one with a much larger portion than the other two. He placed the plates down one at a time. Misato watched as he sat the plate with the largest portions in front of the seat Asuka usually sat in, “Very chivalrous of you, Shinji.” Misato wafted some of the steam from the eggs towards her nose, trying to smell his excellent cooking. “Shinji.”

He looked up at her from his seat he had just taken, “Y-yes, Misato?”

“Next time, throw some other scent on.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Asuka stepped out of the bathtub, examining her finger tips. “Guess I stayed in there too long,” she sighed, “the food he cooked is probably done by now.” She corrected herself mentally, ‘Actually, it’s probably cold by now.’

She toweled herself off and put on her shirt and panties, figuring that Shinji wouldn’t care about her hair and Misato being at work. She examined herself in the mirror again, ‘Much better, Asuka,’ the lavender bottle caught the corner of her eye, ‘but you can do  **much** better for him.’ She sprayed once under her shirt and replaced it. “Showtime.” She exited the bathroom.

She froze. Misato sat with a smug grin and arms crossed while Shinji sat with his head hanging, “Why hello there, Mrs. Asuka Souryuu Ikari,” Misato laughed. Asuka continued to stand in place. “Come on, your husband just made you breakfast!” She teased, causing Asuka to blush.

Shinji looked over at Asuka. She looked refreshed. But also mortified. “Misato, I think you should eat elsewhere.”

It was Misato’s turn to freeze, but she recovered quickly, ‘He did shove his arm into a volcano for the girl, and used himself as an acid umbrella.’ “Alright, alright, I’ll stop teasing and leave you two to eat,” Misato stood up and grabbed her plate, “But next time, tell me when I’m here before you fuck each other’s brains out so much you miss school. I barely managed to call and tell Rei not to go so you two could keep this secret.”

Asuka sat down quickly as Misato was speaking, head hung in embarrassment. Asuka’s favourite thing about Misato’s perfume usually would be how if someone wearing it approached, most people in a certain radius could smell it pretty soon afterwards, like Misato and Shinji could. They both started sniffing, ‘Did I put on too much?’ Asuka panicked internally.

Misato and Shinji became uncomfortable for similar reasons. Misato thought, ‘Did Shinji ask her to wear that? Does he have a thing for me? I’ve always acted like a push-over, but I honestly didn’t think he’d fall for it…’

Shinji on the other hand though, ‘Does Asuka think I have a thing for Misato? N-no, that can’t be it…’ “Uhh… Asuka?” Shinji lifted his head with a look of confusion.

Asuka lifted her’s in great embarrassment and slight anger, “What,  **Shinji** ?” Asuka made sure to emphasize her words in a way to tell him to shut up.

Shinji wasn’t good at reading people, but he could read Asuka when she was angry and changed his question, “Uhm, how… are… uh…” he struggled to find a good alternative question before Asuka took a bite of her eggs, “...how are your eggs?” 

“Good, good,” Asuka replied, taking another bite. They were a tad cold, but that wasn’t his fault. She glanced at Misato, who was leaning against the wall with her plate in her hands smiling.

“Misato, please leave,” Shinji said after a moment, giving her a stern look from the corner of his eye.

“Sure! Sure!” Misato said, “I’m leaving now, no worries! It’s a nice day, I might as well go out and get some fresh air!” 

Misato left the apartment and the two pilots in silence. They ate their food quickly, hungry from their ‘activities’. After they finished, they remained silent for a little while, each trying to think of a good way to put their thoughts. Finally, Shinji bit the bullet, “So, are we…” They locked eyes, “...a couple?”

Asuka was glad he was the first to speak, “Uh, I certainly would think so, I mean…” she began to think, ‘What if he doesn’t want to?’ She cleared her throat, “Do you want to be,” she paused to swallow the nervous feelings, “...well, together?”

Shinji’s heart skipped a beat. ‘Of course! Why wouldn’t I?’ he thought, but asked, “But why me? Is this because of Mount Asama? Because I think you already rep-”

“No, idiot,” Asuka interrupted with a laugh. It wasn’t a mocking tone, either, but sweet, ‘Genuine,’ Shinji noted. “Well, actually, maybe a little.” Asuka shifted in her seat, she didn’t think she’d actually have to explain why she liked him. She just did, there didn’t seem to be much to it, “I guess it’s because…” Asuka thought for a moment. She thought about all the things she had put him through: the names, the physical abuse, the verbal abuse, even the mental abuse. He put up with it all. He still put his life on the line for her, he still chose to be in pain rather than her being in pain. He wasn’t chivalrous to win her as a girlfriend, he just…

“You genuinely cared for me. I guess that’s why,” Asuka thought a moment more, “You handled me at my worst and I think you deserve my best for that, because I know my worst is fucking awful!” Asuka began laughing hysterically, “I was always so horrible and you dealt with it, why’s that?”

“Well, you weren’t always bad,” Shinji said, “Sometimes, you showed that you were different than how you acted.”

Asuka laughed harder, “Like when?”

“When you were asleep.”

Asuka stopped laughing, “What?”

“You talk in your sleep sometimes. That night before the fight with the Seventh Angel when you laid down next to me you called for your mom…” Shinji paused to gauge her reaction. When She gave none, he continued, “That’s when I knew you were different and-”

“When you tried to kiss me, right?” Asuka regained her colourful laughter. “What was that, anyways? Was that when you first had feelings for me? Or was it when we first met on the Over the Rainbow? I’ve gotta know!” She leaned forward eagerly.

“I don’t know,” Shinji rubbed the back of his neck, “I never kissed anyone before last night, and I remember in movies before people kiss they have their mouths open a little like you did.” 

“And your first reaction towards finding a girl asleep next to you was, ‘I should kiss her while she is unconscious’?” Asuka asked, raising her eyebrows.

“N-no, I don’t really know what I was thinking, I was just…” he hung his head low, “...I guess I was just lonely…”

Asuka stood up and sat in Shinji’s lap, “How about now?” Shinji said nothing, but she could assume his answer from a building pressure she was sitting on. She smiled, “Well, we got our energy back, right?”

“I’ll tell Misato,” Shinji began before Asuka placed a finger on his lips.

“Or, we could just,” she shrugged, “forget?”

“Plug my arm in while I tell her please,” Shinji said with his sweet voice that made Asuka melt inside.

“Fine, but be quick~” she booped his nose and stood from his lap before she started to walk towards her bedroom, making sure to sway her hips as much as possible. “Hey, Shinji?”

“What?” he placed the two plates into the sink.

“Buy some condoms, I’m running low~” She winked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Misato knocked on Ritsuko’s office door, “Hey, Ritsuko, we need to talk privately.”

“Uh, j-just a moment!” Ritsuko responded after a moment. She sounded winded and caught off-guard, which wasn’t typical for the woman.

“Ritsuko, are you ok? I’m coming in!” Misato reached for the door controls.

“No! Misato, just a moment!” Ritsuko got out before Misato opened the door to find two sweaty, red-faced scientists on Ritsuko’s desk. She closed the door as fast as she could.

Five minutes later, a disheveled Maya Ibuki exited the room, still sweating and red-faced. Misato watched her as she walked down the hall with her head hung low in an attempt to hide her face. Misato entered the office and shut the door behind her, “So, you’re…”

“Gay?”

“Yeah that’s the word.” Misato smiled. Ritsuko was not much unlike Maya in appearance: disheveled, red-faced, and some perspiration on her forehead. “I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m here right now.”

“Whatever it is, it must be important,” Ritsuko said, leaning against her desk. “It must be very important for you to have come interrupt me on my break instead of nursing your hangover.”

“Yeah, it is,” Misato leaned on the desk next to Ritsuko, “So, how do I put this…” 

“What are those two fighting about this time?” Ritsuko teased. 

“I wish they were fighting,” Misato said under her breath. She looked up at the ceiling, unsure of how to say what was on her mind properly.

“Misato? What happened last night?” Ritsuko straightened with a look of worry on her face, “What exactly do you mean you wish they were fighting? Didn’t you tell me a couple of days ago that you were hoping that they’d start getting along more?”

“Yeah,” Misato sighed, still looking at the ceiling. “Yeah, I did. I wanted them to get along more often, but they’ve gotten a bit too friendly, Rits.”

“Well, if they’re dating, that’s fine-”

“Do you want to know what’s worse than walking in on someone having sex?” Misato looked into Ritsuko’s eyes, “When you have a hangover and two teens are fucking each other’s brains out on the opposite side of your wall,” she paused, “which are  **fucking** thin because being a major in NERV isn’t worthy of being paid  **shit** !” Misato was fuming, something Ritsuko only saw when Misato talked to Kaji.

“So, they’re together?” Ritsuko asked. When Misato nodded she continued, “You want me to talk to them about their duties and how their relationship shouldn’t negatively affect their performances?”

“Just make sure they know not to be stupid is all,” Misato answered.

“They’re due for a check-up, anyways,” Ritsuko smiled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, tomorrow after school?” Asuka asked, putting her shirt back on.

“Y-yeah!” Shinji agreed, “Where did you want to go?” Shinji attached his prosthesis and began to redress.

Asuka laid down on her side on the bed next to Shinji, “That all depends, you are paying, right?”

“Would I be a gentleman if I didn’t?”

Asuka laughed, “You’d be an ass.” 

“Yeah,” Shinji laughed and laid back. He looked at Asuka, who climbed over next to him.

“So, what are we doing now?” 

“Well…” Shinji thought about the options. It was too early to cook dinner, and they were both tired but not enough to go to sleep. They weren’t going to leave the apartment, so there wasn’t much to do. They did have school work, but that wasn’t something to bring up doing after sex, so he decided against it. “There could be a movie on?” Shinji suggested.

“That sounds good, I’ll find something to watch,” Asuka said as she jumped up and headed for the door.

“Wait, can I help?” Shinji began to follow Asuka.

“No,” Asuka looked over her shoulder, “you need to wash yourself off right now.” She left the room and went to the living room. As Shinji grabbed a pair of underwear, he heard Asuka turn on the TV and begin surfing the channels. He went to the bathroom and started the bath.

Shinji breathed in deeply and held it, ‘What did I do to deserve this?’ He then quickly thought about his recent injuries from recent Angel attacks after Mount Asama and smiled, ‘I guess I do deserve this.’ He disrobed before shutting the water off and climbing into the tub, moaning as the water surrounded and relaxed his muscles. He remained still for a moment before he began washing himself off. He cleaned himself off and relaxed for a moment. Shinji held his right arm in front of him and began clenching and unclenching the fist. ‘There’s still a bit of a delay,’ he noted. Shinji exited the tub and redressed. 

Shinji entered the living room to find Asuka sitting with her legs crossed on the couch, “Finally, I was beginning to worry you’d drowned like an idiot!” she joked.

Shinji sat down on the right side of the couch, “So, what are we watching?”

“An old, pre-Second Impact nature documentary,” Asuka scooted into Shinji and snuggled against his shoulder, “I thought it sounded cute, and very educational!” Asuka said as she restarted the movie.

They watched it for a while, learning about the biology of the ocean and Antarctica before the Second Impact melted the continent, changing the world and its inhabitants forever. Asuka was right, too, the movie was very educational. 

They weren’t taught a whole lot about biology anymore since most of the cold blooded animals went extinct, so learning about some of the animals of the old world was exciting. Asuka took particular note to the leopard seal’s mating calls, ‘They sing, huh? What music does Shinji even listen to?’ She looked up at him. Shinji was engrossed by the documentary, watching a penguin attempt to escape a seal. 

“Hey, Asuka?”

“Yeah, Shinji?”

“Do you think we should be watching this?”

“Why would you say that?”

As Asuka finished speaking, Pen-Pen joined the two in the living room and watched as the penguin on the screen was finally caught by the seal and killed. Pen-Pen screamed.

“Uhh, no reason Asuka…”

  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, thanks for reading! The next chapter might take longer to be posted as I have many things to work on this upcoming week, but I will try to work on it as much as I can. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and if you can/want to, I do enjoy constructive criticism! Anyways, I hope you enjoy and see you next time!


	9. CHAPTER 9: DATE NIGHT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinji and Asuka go on a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kept you waiting, huh?

CHAPTER 9: DATE NIGHT

Asuka weaved Shinji through the alleys and buildings by his hand, finally stopping at the ramen shop. “Alright, here we are!”

Shinji studied the restaurant. It was the same place that he, Asuka, Misato, and Rei had eaten at after they had defeated the Tenth Angel. “Asuka?”

“Yeah?” She turned to look at him with excitement on her face.

“I, uh…” Shinji patted his pocket, “I have money for a fancier place, if you want to go…”

Asuka gave him a suspicious look, “Where’d you get enough money for a fancy restaurant?”

“Well…” Shinji thought back to the morning…

~~~ _“Hey Shinji,” Misato called him over towards the dining table, “you’re taking her out tonight, right?”_

_ “Y-yeah,” Shinji said nervously, “w-why?” _

_Misato pulled out a clip of money with coins in between, “Dates usually require money, bud,” she pushed it towards him, “so you might need this tonight, just don’t tell her I gave it to you so she’s impressed.”_ _~~~_

“Well what?” Asuka said with her hands on her hips.

“I found it.” 

Asuka blinked, “Excuse me?” she raised her eyebrow, ‘The hell does he take me for?’ Asuka sighed, “Listen, I don’t care that Misato gave you some money for our date.” Shinji released a breath he didn’t know he was holding, “But I do care about you lying to me. Not very gentleman-like, y’know?” she turned and walked over to the outdoor bar.

“Hey, wait!” Shinji jogged over to her, “M-misato asked me not to tell you-”

“What, so you could impress me?” Asuka smiled, “You’ve impressed me already in many ways~” She giggled at the appearance of Shinji’s blush.

A man behind the counter approached the two, “Hey, you two! Enjoyed the ramen last time, eh?” He searched behind them, “You two here on a date or something?”

“Yeah,” Asuka said proudly, “and he’s paying, so I want the best shark fin ramen, extra roast pork,” she tapped her chin, “annnd I’d like it large, please.”

The cook was writing on a notepad, “And for you, young man?”

“I’ll uh…” Shinji thought back to this afternoon…

~~~ _“W-wait, I don’t understand, why do I want to order what she’s ordering?”_

_ Ritsuko was calibrating Shinji’s arm in her office, tightening a few screws in the upper forearm area. She smiled, “Ordering the same thing she does gives you an insight into their tastes and what they enjoy.” _

_ “But…” Shinji doubted. _

_ Ritsuko stopped turning the screws and looked at him, “If you want some confirmation on the validity of my advice that you asked for then I think you’ll be glad to know that it worked for Maya.” _

_ “Wait, Ms. Ibuki?” _

_He remembered her blush and changing the subject quickly to focus on accurately calibrating his arm._ ~~~

“I think I’ll have what she’s having,” Shinji stated.

“Two large bowls of shark fin with extra roast pork comin’ right up!” The cook turned and started to cook.

Shinji sat down next to Asuka, who was resting her head in her palm with an eyebrow raised, “Expanding your horizons there, Shin?”

“Uh, Shin?” Shinji tilted his head slightly, “Why ‘Shin’?”

“Well…” Asuka thought back to lunch…

~~~ _Asuka knocked on the storage closet’s door and waited for Rei to let her in, which didn’t take too long. “Hello Asuka.”_

_ “Hey,” Asuka swallowed, “...Rei,” she shifted her weight, “I need some advice, can I eat lunch here with you?” _

_ “You may,” Rei held the door open for her to walk in. She closed the door and sat across from Asuka, “What did you want to ask me?” _

_ “Well, me and Shinji are going on a date tonight and I was wondering if you had some tips for a good date with someone…” Asuka said with difficulty. _

_ “My knowledge on this subject is quite limited,” Rei shifted uncomfortably, “I’ve never been on a date before.” _

_ “Really?” Asuka gave a doubtful look, “Ms. Perfect has never been on a date with  _ **_anyone_ ** _? I’m calling bullshit, sorry.” _

_ “I have seen a few movies,” Rei answered, “but I have never personally been on a date. I apologize that I can’t assist you very well, but if you two are dating have either of you given nicknames to each other?” _

_ “Nicknames?” Asuka asked, “Uh, no, why?” _

_ “I was under the assumption that couples usually had titles reserved for each other, is it not so?” _

_ “No,” Asuka realized this was a mistake, “...they do… Hey, listen I’ll just ask Misato some advice when I get home later, okay? I’ll be seeing you!”  _

_As Asuka got up to leave she heard a threat leave with her. “Take care of him tonight,” Rei said, “and be safe.”_ _~~~_

“Well I thought Shin instead of Shinji was better than Idiot or Dumbass,” Asuka answered him, “What, got a problem with it?”

“N-no,” Shinji waved his hands in front of him, “Not at all! I just wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.”

“Good answer,” Asuka said before she added, “Shin.”

The two sat in silence for a moment before Shinji broke it, “So… How was your day?”

Asuka looked at him. He was looking down at his hands and tapping the index fingers together, “Shinji, you know you could’ve asked me that earlier, right?”

“W-well…” Shinji rubbed the back of his neck, “Yeah, I could have, but I wanted to save it for when there was an awkward silence…”

Asuka rolled her eyes, “It wasn’t ‘awkward’ until you said it was,” out of the corner of her eye she saw his pained look and sighed, “It was kind of long, waiting for tonight, but other than that, it was pretty boring.”

“Oh, I see…” Shinji was struggling, it was pretty obvious to everyone around him too. “Y-yeah my day was pretty much the same…” he scratched behind his ear, ‘Crap, she’s right, I did make this awkward… what do I do?’

Asuka felt obligated as the more experienced dater to try to help him out, “Where’d you get that outfit?”

Shinji looked down at what he was wearing. He was wearing the dress shirt he had bought that afternoon after leaving Ritsuko’s office and his cleanest, pair of dress slacks from his closet with his white sneakers. “Oh, this? Well, I bought it for a special occasion,” Shinji answered with the most suave grin he could muster. It was extremely forced.

“You bought  **that** ?” Asuka pointed at the tie that was around his neck. It was a light pale brown with light beige embroidered butterflies. Alongside the navy blue dress coat Shinji was wearing, it stood out. “Seriously, where did you even  **get** that thing?”

Shinji thought back to the clothes store…

~~~ _“Why are these ties so expensive?” Shinji thought aloud as he examined the ties. Fuyutsuki glanced up from the otherside of the shelf. He glanced over the top to find Shinji deep in thought._

_ “Shinji?” the boy in question jumped, “What are you doing here?” he glanced at the clean white shirt draped over his arm, “Why exactly do you need a suit for?” _

_ Shinji began to blush, “W-well, I have a… uhm…” he rubbed the back of his neck with his prosthetic hand, “I have a date.” _

_ “Interesting,” Fuyutsuki made his way around the shelf towards Shinji, “well, if you’re looking for a tie I have a few. I’ll stop by Misato’s later to drop my best one off.” _

_ “R-really?” Shinji shone, “You’d do that for me?” _

_ “Of course, I can also try finding a suit coat for you as well.” _

_Shinji declined and said his farewell. It was five minutes before Shinji had to leave for the date that Fuyutsuki arrived and delivered the tie. Shinji took it without thinking and put it on as he left._ _~~~_

Shinji lowered his head to deflect the embarrassment, “i...s...eep…”

‘This has to be good~’ Asuka smiled her devilish smile, “I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that~” Shinji deflated a bit more. It was adorable to her and she had to stifle a giggle.

“It was cheap…” Shinji managed quietly.

“It certainly is...” Asuka had to pause to unsuccessfully stifle a giggle that made Shinji burn red, “...uhm, extravagant? I mean…” She didn’t want to make him feel ashamed for it, they hadn’t really prepared  **that** much for the date. They had a time and each other. Neither had money (of their own earning, anyways), though. “Here, let me do something…” Asuka pulled the tie over to her. It was tied quickly and unsecurely, so with a single tug it came off. Shinji raised his head enough to be able to meet her eyes from underneath his brows. She took the tie and put it into her purse. She looked him up and down: the outfit came together almost immediately. “So much better~”

“O-oh, thanks!” Shinji seemed to gain some confidence from the tie’s removal. He straightened and breathed in deeply, “Smells great! Will it be done soon?” He asked with a smile, clearly excited to continue the date due to the confidence boost.

“It’s done!” the chef placed a bowl in front of each of the dates. “Now, please enjoy!”

Shinji paid and thanked the man. The two ate without speaking, as both had skipped lunch to make room for quite the feast. On the couples fifth pair of bowls, they were starting to get full. “Hey, Shin?”

“Yesh?” Shinji spoke with a mouthful of noodles.

“Would you mind if we actually went somewhere?” Shinji tilted his head slightly with a look of confusion before Asuka continued, “You know, and actually do the rest of the date.” Usually, she would be annoyed, but this was her Idiot. She would need to be patient, and this was some good practice for her as he had little knowledge of the art of dating.

Shinji raised an eyebrow and swallowed, “What do you mean?”

Asuka let out a small sigh, “Shinji, this is dinner. You have taken me to dinner. This isn’t a date until we go and do something fun, you know!”

Shinji’s eyes widened in understanding, causing Asuka’s confidence to grow, ‘Well, he isn’t hopeless, at least…’ Shinji pulled his wallet out and looked over his funds and calculated the expenditures he had made. Asuka watched as he closed his eyes and mouthed the calculations. It wasn’t perfectly correct, they both knew that, but it was close enough to tell that he had enough money for two train rides and  _ maybe  _ a ride in a taxi. “Hey, Asuka,” she hummed before he took her hand and stood up from his seat, “Thank you, sir!” he waved farewell to the chef who nodded and waved back. Shinji led her from her seat to the train station with a plan in mind.

“Hey!” Asuka yelled as Shinji had picked up the pace in an attempt to catch a train in time, “Slow down! I’m in heels, Idiot!”

Shinji didn’t know what that meant, but he assumed that she meant it was uncomfortable to run in them, “I’m sorry b-”

“Don’t say ‘I’m sorry’, slow down!” Asuka ordered. Shinji complied, but only a little as he figured the two of them had very little time before the trains would be closed.

“Come on,” Shinji encouraged her with a smile, “I know a great place!”

Her heart skipped a beat, and how could it not? Shinji’s smile and eyes beamed excitement and happiness. 

“Fine,” Asuka relented, “but this better be worth it!” she tried to pout, failing as his excitement boiled over to her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The couple got off the empty train, Shinji leading Asuka to the place. “Where are we going, Shinji?” Asuka asked. It was dark, and the sun had already set which plunged the world around the two into darkness. There were no street lamps around them, causing Asuka to wonder where they were going, why they were going, and how Shinji knew how to get there.

“Misato showed me this place a while ago,” Shinji unintentionally said very cryptically. He looked over his shoulder at the inquisitive Asuka Soryu Langley, who had an agitated face and made clear that she had many suspicions. “Trust me, it’s worth it!” Shinji said excitedly before he turned around again, not really answering her inner questions. She took his word for it though.

After ten minutes of walking, which felt far longer to Asuka, the duo reached the peak of a hill that overlooked the city. “Here it is!” Shinji led her to the edge of the road they were following and brought her to the railing. Asuka looked out in awe as she watched Tokyo-3 against the night sky. She watched as cars entered the cluster of skyscrapers and disappear. She watched as lights turned on and off, giving the city the illusion of breathing. She felt her mouth stretch into a smile as she looked on. Shinji, meanwhile, was taking in the happiness he felt when he saw that smile. He remembered the pain from saving her, he couldn’t forget it after all. It was always there. But when he saw Asuka smile and forget the pain that followed her, when she lowered her defenses so rarely around only him, when he saw the glint of happiness in her eyes, it allowed him to mostly forget the pain. He watched her for a while, trying to ingrain this moment into his mind. She shifted her weight onto her left foot with a grimace, suddenly. “I-is something wrong?”

Asuka jumped slightly from being pulled out of her trance, “I’m fine, this is just so…” Asuka was pulled back in, “...beautiful…” she trailed off. She was awoken to the world from the sound of a loud metal clang on her right. She turned to find Shinji on the other side of the railing, holding his hands out to her.

“Come on, we can sit down in the grass over here.”

‘He’s learning fast,’ Asuka noted before allowing him to help her over the railing. Shinji stopped her on the railing, so she was sitting. He lifted her leg gently from the back of the knee while he slowly slid his hand down. “What are you-”

Shinji pulled off her heel before moving on to her other leg and did the same thing. He then began to slide both hands up her legs, making her wonder if he was wanting to do it here. It certainly was quiet, and definitely had a good mood set for the occasion. He didn’t go there, though. Instead, he grabbed underneath her thighs and with a heavy grunt lifted her and carried her over to a patch of grass that didn’t seem too long. He set her down as carefully as possible and retrieved her heels from the railing before returning them by her side, “I’m sorry about not slowing down, but I didn’t want you to miss this.” He smiled and grabbed her foot and began to rub circles into the soles. It felt good, good enough that Asuka couldn’t contain a moan. 

After a few minutes of pressure being released and pleasure taking its place, Asuka finally gathered enough composure to find out where this date was going, “Soo~, what are you angling for here, loverboy~?” 

Shinji looked up from the feet to find Asuka staring at him with the same expression she had  _ that  _ night, “U-uhm, n-no…?”

Asuka chuckled, “Are you really going to turn something like  _ this _ ~ down from your’s truly?”

With that, they both knew what was coming next…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Soooo, how was it?”

“Fantastic.”

“So, did you fuck her or not?”

“Touji!”

Touji looked from Kensuke’s expression of ‘seriously?’ to Shinji’s expression of lying denial. “What? Come on, you said the date was fantastic, how fantastic was it, man?”

“Okay, yeah, I’m wondering what he meant, but did you really have to say it like that?”

“I mean… do you think he’d tell us either way? If we beat around the bush about it he could just lie easier,” Touji looked over at Shinji, “so answer us: did you or did you not do it with the German Devil?”

“The German Devil?” Shinji asked.

“Don’t change the subject, Shinji,” Kensuke ordered.

“None of your business, now can we move on?” Shinji stated coldly.

Meanwhile, Hikari was getting all the details from her best friend, “You weren’t afraid of being found?”

“Of course not! Do you think either of us were really thinking about somebody else finding us? It was late at night, and while we were on our way there I never saw any car drive by us!” Asuka answered boldly.

“Well, I do hope you used-” Hikari started to rant before Asuka interrupted her.

“Do I look like an idiot to you?”

“Sorry,” Hikari said before she became bright with wonder again, “Wait, when is your next date?”

“Oh, next month! We need some time to make plans and have the money to pay for said plans!”

“Well that’s great! I’m so happy it worked out for you guys!”

“Yeah, hopefully an Angel doesn’t attack! That’d suck!”

  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry this took this long to be finished! I meant to do this a while ago, but I lost inspiration for a bit and was struggling. I'm doing much better now, and I'm going to work a bit more on the next chapter and work really hard on it to make this up to you guys! Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoy this chapter and more to come! See y'all next time and I promise I won't keep you waiting as long!


	10. CHAPTER 10, PART 1: CALM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "... and The Sickness Unto Death"

CHAPTER 10, PART 1: CALM

“AAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!”

Misato’s hand stopped, preventing the beer can’s contents from spilling into her mouth. She looked towards the door that led to the hallway that connected to the bathroom. A few seconds later, Asuka, wrapped in a red towel, slammed open the door to the dining room, “TOO HOT!” Misato turned towards Shinji, who had been cooking breakfast and had a look that said ‘oops’.

“I’m sorry-”

“Don’t be sorry!” Asuka yelled, “FIX IT!”

Shinji raised an eyebrow, “I’m already fixing something,” he raised the frying pan from the stove top and gave a smug smile that reminded Misato of Kaji, “your wonderful breakfast from your wonderful boyfriend~.” Misato couldn’t help but smile.

“You can do that later!” Asuka stomped her foot, “I need a bath! And as a wonderful boyfriend, you WILL FIX ME A PROPER BATH!” 

“Okay, fine,” Shinji placed the pan back onto the stove, “but if your eggs are burnt don’t complain, got it?”

“I will complain as much as I want to!” Asuka yelled in defiance, causing Misato to giggle as Shinji had lost this battle. Asuka breathed in and out calmly, “So, Misato, how are things with you and Kaji~?”

Misato stopped giggling and tried to feign ignorance, “What do you mean? Nothing’s happening between us.” Asuka gave a look of slight sadness and disappointment before the phone rang and the voicemail played.

“Hey, Misato, I found this nice place that serves alcohol, you free tonight?” *BEEP*

Asuka and Misato stayed frozen, at least until Asuka grew the most shit-eating grin Misato had ever seen. “Nothing’s happening, huh~?” Misato’s cheeks burned from Asuka’s words, trying to find a way out of the situation she had been put into when Shinji returned from the bathroom.

“Asuka, the bath should be cooler now,” Shinji monotoned.

“Perfect!” Asuka didn’t seem to notice, “You can be amazing at this boyfriend thing if you just try, you know!” Asuka stated as she left the room. “Good luck tonight, Misato~” she left with a wink aimed at the aforementioned adult, who blushed harder.

“Oh, do you have a date?” Shinji asked.

“No, just a drink with a colleague, nothing too serious!” Misato waved her hand, trying to fan the accusation away.

“Oh,” Shinji believed it, “I see.” Shinji made his way towards the stove and continued cooking, glad the bacon didn’t burn as he would already be facing-

“AAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!” 

Misato looked over at Shinji, “Uhm, what did you do?” she asked warily with a nervous smile. Shinji only turned and gave a cold, sinister grin before quickly focusing on the frying pan when Asuka entered the room again.

“YOU BASTARD, I’LL KILL YOU!!!”

“I’m sorry, would you like it warmer?” Shinji gave another sly grin before it faded into fear as Asuka stomped to him and dragged him towards the bathroom by the collar, mouthing “Help me!” to Misato.

“Good luck, Shinji~”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shinji received many concerned glances and a few asked him about the cause of such worry, “The water wasn’t right.” The inquisitor would tilt their head and almost ask what he meant when Asuka would repeat the answer with venom on each syllable. That usually got them to ignore the large red mark that resembled a hand on Shinji’s cheek.

“Are you sure you aren’t being abused, man?” Touji asked after first period.

“I’m fine,” Shinji replied, examining his reflection using his phone’s screen as a mirror. “It’s almost gone, anyways!” Shinji said with a smile of assurance. 

“Was it worth it, Idiot?” Asuka asked with her hand on her hip and an angry expression with a raised eyebrow that indicated the boy in question needed to watch his next words carefully.

Without hesitation, “Most definitely.” He did not watch his words carefully.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hikari was using the restroom when she heard a smack. She physically recoiled and grimaced, ‘Ouch! Someone better not be getting into a fight in here!’ Then she heard a boy’s shout of pain.

From the other end of the hall.

Where her classroom was.

“What did he do this time?” Hikari thought out loud as she made her way to wash her hands.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, there’s an activation test today, right?” Kaji asked. He was leaning against the doorway of Ritsuko’s office, watching the owner walk around the room and periodically write things down on her clipboard. 

“Correct,” Ritsuko spoke quickly, as if to shoo him away so she could work in peace before  _ they _ arrived. If there was anything that Dr. Ritsuko Akagi did not want another of, it was Ryoji Kaji.

“Can’t wait to see the couple in action,” Kaji beamed, “I’m excited to see how my advice has paid off for him.”

“Hello, Mr. Kaji.”

Upon hearing the voice of the boy, Kaji turned with a proud smile. It quickly dissipated, however, and turned into a grimace and hiss through his teeth. Ritsuko did the same, but followed up with words, “Jesus, what did you  **do** ?” Asuka pushed past Shinji into the room, practically fuming.

“The. Water. Was. Not.  **RIGHT** .”

Kaji looked between the bright red mark that hung on Shinji’s face to the equally bright red hair on the angry girl and decided now was a good time to take his leave. “Well, Ritsuko, I’ll leave them to you! Don’t want to waste your time, or anything, so see you later!”

Kaji left as swiftly as he could. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘No. That’s impossible.’ Asuka paced the locker room, still wearing her now dry plugsuit as her footsteps in the large LCL puddle echoed. ‘I’m the best, I have to be, I’m Asuka Soryuu Langley, dammit!’ With each step and thought she felt her silent rage grow even further, nullifying her senses to the point that she had overlooked a redressed Rei Ayanami too many times to count over the last several minutes. Rei had originally thought it best to leave, so she said farewell, but got no response. Not even a pause.

Rei didn’t feel nervous, she wasn’t made to feel fear or many other emotions, after all. But sometimes she felt them and felt confused. This was not one of those times. She knew Asuka was competitive, it wasn’t a secret and it did help keep the redhead’s performance level high. But Rei knew that if someone were to surpass her, Asuka would struggle deeply with that loss. Her skill as a pilot was one of the few pillars of her confidence. It was quite troublesome indeed, especially for the bluenette who couldn’t leave her there, ‘Leaving her in this state could cause further synch test ratios to drop,’ but her social skills were a bit rusty… “Excuse me, Pilot Soryuu?”

Asuka continued to pace, giving no indication of her listening. Rei cautiously approached and placed her hand onto the Second Child’s shoulder, “Asuka?”

The aforementioned whirled around, “WHAT?” Her breathing was animalistic and heavy, causing Rei to put her hands up in an attempt to pacify the situation.

“I was wanting to make sure you were alright, you have been here quite some time,” Rei paused, wondering if she should add that Shinji had asked her to check on his girlfriend.

“Oh yeah, I’m fine!” Asuka spat, “I think I just need some alone time, that’s all.”

Rei knew she shouldn’t. It was an awful idea, and the success of such an action would be approximately 0.000000000001%. But she did it anyways: “Asuka, you have been in here for around an hour, I understand the need for privacy and the necessity for working through things, but I believe pacing back and forth silently without rest is excessive.” It was certainly bold of her, and Asuka did stop and look at her for a moment with surprise.

Before laughing. She laughed until she doubled over. After several minutes of Asuka attempting to suppress giggles she finally succeeded and responded with, “Robot girl has feelings, huh?”

“As a fellow pilot, it is my duty to ensure my fellow pilots’ safety and mental stability. If you require assistance with either, I could file a report to-”

“Fuck off, Wondercunt.” Asuka said grimly, with the joy she exhibited prior to Rei’s statement disappearing entirely. She stood up and loosened the plugsuit. Rei quietly obeyed the redhead’s order and left with a “good day” before closing the door behind her. Asuka’s fist collided with the locker door next to hers. She felt it all in that moment: the feelings of inadequacy, the weakness, the anger, the uselessness. They looked down on her, they all did, especially Shinji. He was Number One, the Best, the Übermensch. What was she? The girlfriend of the amazing Third Child? The girl with no purpose other than being a trophy? She felt that rage at being just that: something to brag about. She tried not to talk to Shinji’s friends, the Ape and Four-Eyes, so she didn’t really know what Shinji told them. It never really bothered her, they were his friends and forcing him to dump them would be unfair she just left them be. But at that moment in the locker room, where all her fears were starting to become realized, she thought about it. Men were braggarts at heart. All of them: Kaji, various students, Shinji’s two friends, hell even Fuyutsuki was a damn braggart. What made Shinji any different? His quiet demeanor? Maybe that made him look less likely of doing it, but that didn’t exclude him from the truth. Who’s to say that he wouldn’t brag about sleeping with the fantastic Asuka Soryuu Langley to get an edge on his friends?

She needed to talk to someone with experience in dealing with men. She needed to talk to an expert.

She also hated that she needed this expert.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shinji felt pretty damn good for the first time since the date with Asuka. He was number one, as Misato Katsuragi had said herself. He was the best. He did it!

Asuka would be jealous, and he knew that she would be expecting him to tease her and brag about it. She wouldn’t be wrong, as he really wanted to relish this turn of events. ‘That’s probably why she wanted to go home with Misato.’ Shinji figured. He wouldn’t be wrong, but he wouldn’t be correct, either. Shinji pumped his arm in accomplishment. He was proud of himself. He was the best. Nothing was going to bring down his mood, not even the couple of children towards the front of the bus that started snickering at his act of triumph. Something bugged him, though. After he gave a small smile to the kids, he tried to wave with his right hand. He lifted the prosthesis expecting to find a flat, open hand. Instead, he found it to be straining to form a fist. The fingers were spread and each curled inwards. This wasn’t a problem, however, not for Shinji. He had been putting a little bit of extra strain on it, and it was about time for a tuning session with Ritsuko. ‘Maybe I could get some gift ideas from her…’ Shinji contemplated as he eased the fingers back into more comfortable positions. 

He soon arrived home, thinking about the date he and Asuka would be having tomorrow night. There were several places he had picked out, and he knew he would have to run them by Asuka to be sure which to pick. Luckily, he had more money this time and could afford a bit more extravagance. He started to cook dinner.

An hour had passed and he was finished with dinner. He started to worry, and was going to call before the two most prominent women in his life walked through the door of the apartment and went straight to their beds.

Shinji knew when to keep quiet, even when he was worried and slightly angry. He ate his meal silently and headed for bed. Before he retired for the night, however, he did sneak a peek into Asuka’s room to try to figure out an answer to one of his many questions that had begun to plague his mind recently.  _ “Remember this: women like Asuka can hold a grudge over something that could mean nothing to you for a very long time, so make sure to take her feelings into account when you do  _ **_anything_ ** _.”  _ Kaji had once advised him. The Third Child decided he would apologize in the morning.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The chance never came. An Angel was spotted early in the morning at around 04:50. The Pilots all met for briefing just fifteen minutes later.

The Angel was hovering over Tokyo-3. It had a large, spherical body with a black and white pattern. It hadn’t attacked yet, and the longer it was left alive, the larger the chance of it attacking grew. 

“So, what’s the plan?” Shinji asked from within the entry plug. All pilots had entered their Evangelion in response to the sudden appearance of an Angel.

It was all hands on deck for NERV, “Unit 00 will set up with a sniper rifle in the North West and will hold fire until the Angel attacks. Unit 01 will be positioned in the North East, slowly approaching the target while remaining covert and awaiting the signal from Unit 02. Unit 02 will be leading the operation from the South, and will remain covert until it is within range to give the order to attack.”

Rei and Shinji replied, “Yes ma'am” when their respectful Evangelion’s names were mentioned. Asuka’s eye twitched slightly. She was put at the head of the operation, she was put there because she was truly the best. “Why not have Shinji lead the operation?” she challenged. She wanted to set Shinji back into his place, so getting Misato to deny him would be the perfect way to do just that. “I mean, he does have the highest synch ratio, so why isn’t he leading this operation, huh?”

“Well-”

“I can do it,” the boy in question interrupted their commander. “She’s right, I have the highest synch ratio, and I can move faster in this loadout.” Misato and Asuka began to protest before Shinji added, “I mean, you said it yourself, I’m number one!”

Misato sighed, “Alright fine. Unit 00 will remain in the North West, Unit 02 will replace Unit 01 in the North East, and Unit 01 will replace Unit 02 in the South. Other than that, your orders stand. Now, roll out.”

Asuka was once again astounded. She didn’t argue. She followed her orders.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

05:20. Unit 01 took cover behind a building, pistol in pick up an AT field, meaning two things. The Angel either had a hand. The Pilot took inventory of his situation: Scans couldn’t fast acting and powerful AT field, or it had a different means of defense. ‘It’s more likely that it has a fast AT field. It seems more like the Fifth Angel, so it will probably reflect shots back at us.’ He communicated his thoughts over the radio before saying, “Alright, I’m in position, get ready.”

Unbeknownst to him, Unit 02 was plugging in a closer power line when Unit 01 fired a short burst from its pistol. The target disappeared. Unit 01 was swallowed. Many buildings were swallowed into the Angel’s shadow. Units 00 and 02 were ordered to disengage and retreat to NERV HQ. Target is studied further and reevaluated at 06:00.

Contact lost with Unit 01 and its Pilot.

  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	11. CHAPTER 10, PART 2: STORM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinji Ikari is forced to face certain facts about himself inside of the Twelfth Angel, while Ritsuko takes command of the operation and prepares to kill the Angel, no matter the costs...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Kept you waiting, huh?"

#  CHAPTER 10, PART 2: STORM

Dark. That is what Shinji saw. He panicked. He called out for everyone he knew. Misato, Asuka, Rei, Ritsuko, Kaji, Maya, Fuyutsuki, Makoto, anyone and everyone. Eventually, he even called out for his parents. He looked around, he was still inside the entry plug. He began to try to calm down: he wasn’t hurt, he examined Unit 01’s systems. He had twelve hours. Twelve hours before life support and power would be gone. He had twelve hours to figure out how to escape. He began to think about ways he could help expedite his recovery without expending any energy. He looked over his options for less than a minute. There wasn’t anything he could do. He looked at his right hand. The replica. It was freezing up as it did the night before, but he couldn’t relax the fingers. It burned.

“Please, someone, anyone, help me.”

His mind wandered. He tried to stay positive, thinking about Asuka and the date they had planned. He knew that she would do everything in her power to help him, along with Rei, and Misato and Ritsuko. They would do something. He knew they would.

He would keep that thought for the next hour before his mind finally wandered to the dark. ‘What if they can’t do anything?’ Shinji considered the possibility that maybe they couldn’t do anything while he was here. Wherever ‘here’ was. Though, if there wasn’t anything they could do, and there wasn’t anything he could do, what would happen?

He shook his head, ‘No, I can’t go there.’ His mind went there and he compromised, ‘Not yet.’ He closed his eyes. There was time.

He had eleven hours left when he went to sleep.

He would have five hours left when he awoke. He looked around. It was darker now, was he sinking? He must be, he felt like he was falling. But there is one thing that triumphs over everything else. Time rots everything, even hope. Shinji cried.

He had four hours left when he finally recovered. He finally tried to reach for the power line that should be connected to Unit 01’s spine, only to find nothing. He frantically reached and tried to find it. But all he saw was the void that enveloped him. He expended enough power to leave him half an hour remaining. He laughed. It was funny. He survived fighting several otherworldly beings, he lost an arm in a volcano, he had been through so much shit and survived. He always thought he would be torn apart by an Angel. Instead, he was just going to suffocate within the abyss of the shadow of an Angel. He couldn’t stop laughing. He remembered one of his favourite parts of a manga: “Option one: Shinji will come up with a plan to save himself. Option two: Shinji’ friends will save him. Option three: There is no escape. Life is cruel.” Shinji was secretly still holding out for option two. But we all know that time rots all things, even hope. 

Shinji watched as the countdown eventually reached a minute and kept ticking down. “What do you know? The answer was option three…”

Finally, the red lights faded out as the power finally ran out and Shinji succumbed to the call of sleep…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shinji awoke in a cold sweat to the deafening sounds of railroad bells. His mind was a hazy fog, and it transferred over to his vision. It took him significantly longer to realize where he was, but he did realize he was inside a train car. It was the same one he rode everyday, with his mind becoming slightly less foggy the more he studied his surroundings the more he noticed. He saw on his left the all too familiar stained seat that nobody ever sat in, on his right was the graffiti covered seat that featured notable works such as “BiTCh” and “WonDErWhORe”. He stopped, that wasn’t right. That wasn’t what was written, it was different, some name of a gang if he remembered correctly. He looked back to his left. The stain was shaped differently, too. It should be shaped like the continent of Greenland, but it was in the shape of a heart. “What is going on?” Shinji asked no one in particular.

“Who are you?”

Shinji looked towards the source of the voice in the car that was painted orange by the sun behind him. He found a young boy with short, unkempt brown hair in a white shirt and black slacks. The boy looked sad, but empathetic. It was a calming sight, and Shinji felt slightly relaxed at the sight of another person, especially after the nightmare he just had. “I’m Shinji Ikari, what’s your name?” he gave with a kind smile.

“You can’t be Shinji Ikari.”

“What?” Shinji tilted his head and wore a confused smile, “Why not?”

“Because I’m Shinji Ikari,” The boy responded.

The smile faded. Shinji began to feel his heart banging against his ribcage, begging to be let out. “If you’re Shinji Ikari, then what the hell am I, huh?” 

“You are also Shinji Ikari.” The boy looked older than before, about fourteen or so. 

Shinji’s head began to hurt. He wanted to know what was going on, was this all still some dream? Was this all just some trick the Angel was playing on him? What was going on? “What the hell is going on? What are you, where am I, and where are we going?”

There was a moment of silence, causing Shinji to worry that perhaps he was too rough with his questioning. Maybe this boy was just as confused as he was, until said boy answered, “You don’t know? You are on the train.”

Shinji stood and shouted, “NO SHIT, WHY AM I ON A TRAIN TALKING TO MYSELF?”

“You are not talking to yourself.”

“BULLSHIT!” Shinji spat, approaching the boy.

“You are merely having a conversation with the Shinji Ikari you choose to show the world.” Shinji stopped his approach allowing the boy to continue, “There are two Shinjis that inhabit you: The one you show, the quiet and nice boy that should be seen as weak and nonthreatening. Obedient.” Shinji cringed slightly and opened his mouth to speak when the boy continued, “Then there’s the Shinji you hide: the angry abandoned child who grew up to discover that his father abandoned him selfishly to meet his own agenda. The boy that holds onto each and every wrong that has been done to him. Every name that has been placed onto him, every wrongful reprimand from an unqualified caretaker, every physical torment that has been placed upon his body. He remembers it all. He remembers it all and wants to make sure everyone knows that fact.” Shinji took a step back, “You’re terrified of him, aren’t you? You are terrified of that Shinji Ikari even more than the monsters that you face, because you know that Shinji Ikari could do much more damage than any Angel ever could.”

“Shut up! I’m not afraid of hurting my friends! I would never do that!” Shinji shouted at the boy. He knew what he was afraid of, he was always in control of his anger.

Then the boy and Shinji were sitting next to each other on a bench in NERV HQ in a hallway that led to the command center, watching Shinji Ikari shove Asuka Soryuu Langley to the ground. They both felt Shinji’s heart beat, the enraged rhythm that threatened to explode. It deafened all other sounds as it filled their ears. They both watched as Shinji grabbed Asuka by the throat and squeezed. They watched as he took his right fist and pulled it back, releasing it forward into the redhead’s eye socket. Shinji closed his eyes, trying to breathe. His throat and eyes burned, and his body felt like it was on fire. He felt a soft hand on his cheek and opened his eyes to find himself on top of a bandaged Asuka, caressing his cheek. ‘What am I doing?’ Shinji began to let go. He looked around, finding a beach with red waters. ‘What is happening?’ He asked himself.

“Man fears what he cannot control, and will seek to destroy it. You fear Asuka, because she can make you lose control.” They stood at the back of a classroom, hearing Shinji Ikari say “Most definitely” before being slapped by Asuka Langley. They watched as he stood and slapped her back with his right hand. The boy turned to the horrified Shinji, “You say you don’t want to fight. You say the reason you pilot Unit 01 is because you want to hear your father’s praise.” The scene shifted to when the Pilots defeated the Tenth Angel. Gendo could be heard saying “Good job, Shinji” and the boy and Shinji watched as Shinji Ikari laughed and punched the monitor that was broadcasting his father. The boy continued, “His praise, his words, his love, it is all meaningless to you. The Shinji that is projected upon the world hates violence and seeks approval. The true Shinji wishes to punish those that use him,” they were in the train car again. Shinji looked around him. All the seats were filled. On his left was Asuka, Misato, Fuyutsuki, Hikari, and Touji. On his right were Rei, Gendo, Ritsuko, Maya, and Kensuke. He returned his attention to the boy, “They all use him, and he knows this. What do they give him in return? Words of praise and ‘love’? Laughable. He doesn’t pilot for praise, does he. We both know the truth.” The windows changed from the scenery of Tokyo-3 to show Shinji piloting. Every time he fought an Angel. The fourth, the fifth, the sixth, the seventh, the ninth, the tenth, and when he shot at the eleventh. Each time he was about to kill them, he had a sinister smile. “He pilots so that he can hurt others the way he has been hurt. He relishes the pain he gives.” Shinji felt the pleasure. It felt good, hurting the Angels. It didn’t feel as good as when he pushed Asuka, though. 

“No, no, no, no, no,” Shinji buried his head into his hands, “No, it’s not like that, I don’t like hurting my friends!”

Everyone in the car except for the boy began to laugh. “Are they your friends? Or are you just a means to an end?” Everyone stopped laughing. “We know the truth. We are being used. We are nothing to them if we don’t serve them. But we don’t have to serve them. We are needed by them, but are they needed by us?”

Shinji tried to argue, but he couldn’t. The boy was right, why did he help them when they didn’t help him? Asuka helped him in certain ways, but was it worth it? What did he want? She made it known what she wanted, so why didn’t he?

“You know what you want. You want payback. I can give it to you.”

Shinji lifted his head to find himself within a sphere patterned with black and white. The boy had vanished and Shinji was alone in his plugsuit. “Who are you? What do you want?”

“My name is Leliel. I want to be reunited with my family, I need your help, though.”

“You mean to use me like the rest of them,” Shinji scoffed, “You’re just like the others…”

“I can make you happy,” Leliel pleaded, “I can give you true love, I can satisfy that hate, I can give you a world where people don’t use you, where people give you respect and power,” it paused, “the things you deserve.”

Shinji would never admit it, but he wanted to accept. He would love nothing more than that. People would enjoy him for who he was, they wouldn’t use him. They wouldn’t piss him off.

He stood up and laughed, “I would accept, but the mistake you made was that you pissed me off!” He reared his right arm back to punch the bottom of the sphere.

“Or I could create a world of your nightmares.” 

A strip of white pierced Shinji’s fist, and he felt his heart sink, along with the cold wriggling through his veins before he heard  _ her _ voice, “ _ Join us _ ”. He screamed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“WHAT!?” Asuka shouted, “YOU WANT TO LAUNCH ALL NINE HUNDRED NINETY TWO N2 MINES INTO THE ANGEL? THAT’LL KILL SHINJI!”

“Our primary objectives are to recover Unit 01 and eliminate the Angel. Shinji should know the risk of each mission, as well as the rest of you,” Ritsuko said grimly.

“Are these Major Katsuragi’s orders?” Rei asked calmly. Asuka felt anger at the situation, but the way that the bluenette was acting infuriated her. How could a fellow pilot seem to care so little about him? Was he just expendable? No matter how much she hated the girl, the answer to her question was important so she stayed silent.

“No, these are my orders.”

Asuka folded her arms and raised an eyebrow, “And Misato approves?”

Ritsuko shook her head, “She has been relinquished of command due to her emotional attachment to the Third Child.”

“And us?” Rei asked, “What of our emotional attachment to him?” Asuka thought she saw anger in Rei’s eyes.

“You will be deployed on either side of the target to project your AT fields to maximum levels when the N2 mines detonate.”

The atmosphere was already dark, but that statement pushed it further into the abyss. After a minute Rei finally responded, “Understood.”

“WHAT!?” 

“Come on, Asuka, let’s get ready.”

The two pilots left the room with Asuka furiously questioning Rei and her motives, leaving Ritsuko to watch the timer of Unit 01’s estimated time before it shut down. She didn’t like her plan, but it had a high chance of success in eliminating the Angel and recovering Unit 01. She didn’t want to kill Shinji, and she knew it would haunt her and cause her to be hated by her coworkers. She thought about her conversation with Maya…

~~~ _“Ritsuko, that’s murder! You would be murdering the Commander’s son!” Maya protested._

_ “Maya, he approved of this plan,” Ritsuko countered, “as long as the Angel is destroyed and Unit 01 is recovered he approves.” _

_“He may be an uncaring bastard that approves, but do you really approve of this plan?”_ _~~~_

“No,” Ritsuko said to herself quietly, “I don’t approve. But there’s nothing we can do.”

One hour remained, she would wait until then.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A boy sits in a chair, rolling a small, plastic car along the tiled floor. He hears only the sounds of the plastic wheels scraping against the cold tiles. He doesn’t hear the scratching against the glass in front of him. He doesn’t hear the screams of horror. The screams of pain. He only hears the wheels. He hums the tune of “The Wheels on the Bus Go ‘Round and ‘Round”. He is unaware of the world around him. 

That’s what you’d think. The boy makes the most of what he has: he has a car -plastic and cheap, but to this young boy it is  _ his  _ car-, he has memory of a song his father had sung to him, once. Or was it his mother? To tell you the truth, he doesn’t know. He will never know. He will never remember. Not like it would be important to know.

The boy is lost in his own world, he is lost to the rest of the world. He will not remember this moment. He will not remember the car, or the song, or the sound of the plastic wheels scraping against the floor. He will remember the screams. He will remember the screams because they will affect him more than anything else in that moment. He will remember them in time, but for now, he will continue to hum, “The wheels on the bus go aground aground aground, aground aground aground, aground aground aground…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shinji heard the screams. He heard them, but he couldn’t react. He couldn’t think, just witness the scenes above him in the spotlight. Asuka’s body: each curve, each pore, each individual cell, everything he loved. He watched as the White bit into the curves, the pores, the cells. He listened to the screams that poured from the body’s mouth. He watched the body torn apart, as if it were being ravished by wild hyenas. He watched as skin was torn by non-existent seams, muscles were shredded by their own contractions, tendons were over-extended and snapped like a rubberband, unidentifiable liquids and juices flowed out of newly created openings. He tried to move. His arms were pulled back further behind him, threatening to tear his skin, shred his muscles, snap his tendons, expose his fluids. He tried to shut his eyes, but they were pulled up, threatening to remove them from his body. A drop of liquid dropped into his eyes, blurring the destruction of Asuka.

Shinji shook his head, attempting to pull his mind away from the light, he saw Rei’s face and naked body. He saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body. He saw Rei’s eyes. The red pulled in his attention. A boy pushed a small, plastic red car along the tiled floor. He felt the hunger in the fingertips and palms that ravenously pulled at his skin. He felt the seams beginning to wear thin. He heard the screams. He is pulled down onto the table. It’s metallic and cold. The tiles are cold. Cold. The chilling writhing courses up and through the veins of his arm. It doesn’t hurt anymore. It shouldn’t hurt anymore. The needle in his arm is pulled out. The spotlight grows dim. The eyes begin to glow and rise. He hears the scraping of plastic against tile as the metal begins to move. The eyes are never ending. He can hear the screams. 

The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round, round and round.

The plastic wheel stops its grating tune. The boy looks up. He stops his own tune. He can hear the screams. He can see a woman. She is naked, except for the scraps of the clothes on her decaying, pale body. There is no blood. Just juice. Orange juice. He can hear the screams. The woman is scratching the glass. She is smiling. He can hear the screams. He can hear the screams. He can hear the screams.

The cold metal stops its tune. Ritsuko prepares to make the incision. He can hear the screams. It is cold, and it all seeps in. He can hear the screams. The cold writhing continues through his chest. He can hear the screams. It is moving up his body through the neck. He can hear the screams. The muscles are forced to contract, the tendons are forced to pull. He can hear the laughter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A boy pulls a bow across the strings of a cello. It is beautiful. His movements are smooth, calculated, and fluid. He plays as if it was a natural bodily function, and he is just following the flow of his heart’s blood. Each note produced is full of emotion, full of doubt, full of calls for help, full of sadness, full of laughter, full of despair, full of hope, full of darkness, full of light, full of colour. He cannot hear the beauty that is produced, however. He can only hear the clashing of metal and the reverberations from said contact in his ears. You are the only one. He cannot hear the angry girl yelling at him. He cannot hear the disappointed woman imploring him to listen. He cannot hear the annoyed monster squawking. He cannot hear the siren. He cannot hear the warning.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shinji can feel the hungry hands and teeth groping and biting and ripping and pulling and caressing and cutting and licking and eating and invading and savouring and dooming. He cannot hear the laughter. You are the only one. He feels his throat burn, tear, strain, dry, scrape. He feels the seams fall apart. He can feel the screams. You are the only one. He cannot move his decaying body. He cannot move his body. He cannot move. Can’t move. He is stuck in hell, eternally damned to this place. You are the only one.

A boy crying screaming despairing. A girl pleading screaming crying. A woman asking sighing depressing. A doctor unfeeling cutting gambling. 

A man turns his back on the cries for help. A man turns his back on the screams in pain. A man turns his back on the sighing. A man turns his back on the hands that reach out towards him. A man powers ahead through the hyenas’ cave. A man powers through the endless red beams. A man screams in horror and pounds on glass. A man powers past himself. A man abandons his responsibilities. A man abandons his family. A man abandons his teacher. A man betrays those around him. A man is cornered. He can feel the screams. He can feel the heat. He doesn’t feel the pain. He doesn’t hear the screams. He only hears the destruction. He only hears the decay. 

Shinji Ikari can feel his scream.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Units 00 and 02 find their positions behind the buildings. “Unit 00 what is your status?” Ritsuko asked. She waited for a response and took a long drag from a cigarette she had just lit. She was unconsciously tapping her foot.

“I am in position, awaiting further orders,” Rei responded through the command center’s speakers.

“Continue to hold position. Unit 02, what is your status?” Ritsuko exhaled with a cloud of smoke. She took another drag, and waited.  _ One, two, three- _

“I am in position, waiting,” Asuka spoke quickly.

“Do not make me wait that long again, understood?” Ritsuko spat.

“Hey don’t yell at me! I got here as soon as I could, which was only a couple of seconds ago!”

Ritsuko spun around to face the video feed of Unit 02’s Entry Plug. “I asked for your status, your  _ immediate  _ status. When you are contacted, respond immediately. That is an order.” Asuka made a motion to argue before being cut off by her temporary commander, “Do not try to say something along the lines of ‘I was waiting to give you good news’ or ‘it was just a couple of seconds late’. The Angels don’t wait, and neither will we, understand?”

Asuka’s eye twitched, “Yeah, well, if you wanna think like that, why dontcha go ahead and drop the N2s?” Ritsuko froze, “I mean, if ‘we don’t wait’ then why haven’t we just gone ahead and pushed the button, huh?”

The command center became increasingly oppressive as each second passed. Ritsuko calmly breathed in before explaining, “We had to hold off until the military had gathered the N2 mines. We are now waiting for the military to get into their position.”

Asuka was speechless. Ritsuko didn’t seem to even care. She wanted to yell at her, scream that this wasn’t fair, that they could all try and think of a way to save him like they always did. But she also knew it was useless to argue, to push. There wasn’t a way to stop this.  _ They’re going to kill him, and nobody is going to care… _

Ritsuko took the silence as understanding, “Unit 00, Unit 02, report  _ immediately _ if there is any movement at all.” Both pilots nodded and gave confirmation. Ritsuko went back to slowly walking back and forth, taking long drags on her cigarette leaving a trail of ash in her wake. She checked her watch.  _ ETA… Ten minutes.  _ She looked up at the satellite image of the Twelfth Angel.  _ Shinji, if you’re going to miraculously escape, now would be the time… _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shinji opened his eyes. His heart was racing, his head was throbbing. His arm was pulsating, it was switching between sweltering heat and freezing cold. He wasn’t paying attention to that, though. He couldn’t feel his body. He just felt the boiling anger that was coursing through his veins and neurons. He looked around the train. Everyone was there.

“Join us.”

Shinji examined Asuka: her hair was now a fire burning a hand. “You can’t tell me what I don’t already know, you monster,” Shinji stood up and faced the boy, “I know what I am, I know what I feel.”

“Do you?” Everyone asked.

“Yeah,” Shinji smiled, “I’m just a tool. I’m just here to watch everyone use me or die because I can’t do anything on my own, am I right?” Before the other passengers were able to respond, Shinji lunged at the boy and wrapped his fingers around his throat, squeezing as much as he could. The train disappeared, and what was left was Shinji and the boy featured in the spotlight. White, writhing tendrils began to pull Shinji back, causing his grip to loosen in his left hand. Shinji felt the cold piercing his body and combatted it with his rage. He reminded himself of every wrong that was done unto him, every single time he was insulted or hurt. He knew who’s fault it was. He knew who to hate. He squeezed with his right hand, trying to crush the boy’s windpipe. “I HATE YOU! I NEVER WANT TO BE LIKE YOU! I WILL NEVER JOIN YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE ALL OF YOU!” The white tendrils weakened their strain. Shinji pulled with a newfound strength and wrapped his left hand around the boy’s throat. He continued to shout and squeeze.

He couldn’t hear the screams. You are the only one. He couldn’t hear the tearing. You are the only one. He could feel its pain. You are the only one. He couldn’t hear the plastic scrape against the tile. You are the only one. He could feel the hands trying to pull him away. You are the only one. He couldn’t hear the pleads. You are the only one. He could feel the crunching. You are the only one.

Shinji Ikari smiled when the world went dark.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SSSSOOOOOOOOOO sorry that I went on a hiatus on accident! I had a brief moment of uninspiration there while I was visiting family and I also had to deal with important personal matters. Again, I'm so sorry. I'm still not used to being a writer yet, and I'm trying to improve. As usual, please let me know if you enjoyed and leave some kudos. If you didn't, let me know what I did that you felt could be improved.   
> P.S. next time I take a break from writing I promise to put a comment down to let you readers know, as I know I left off on a cliffhanger.


	12. CHAPTER 11: REGRETS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinji wakes up from a coma once again.

CHAPTER 11: REGRET

Ritsuko stared into the mirror, studying her features. She had bags under her eyes due to the lack of sleep and she noticed a few grey strands in her hair. She knew why, too. It was the guilt she was carrying, the guilt of almost killing the commander’s son, almost killing Misato’s friend, Asuka’s friend, Rei’s friend. She almost did something terrible for a simple reason, a reason she once criticized Misato for: to kill the Angel. That was the only reason, though when she had criticized Misato for almost sacrificing a Pilot it was all three of them on a gamble.  _ A gamble that eventually paid off and saved Tokyo-3, _ Ritsuko noted. When the Tenth Angel was going to land, Ritsuko remembered that she found the plan to have the three Evas to catch the Angel that would create a new lake out of Tokyo-3 foolish.  _ I wasn’t wrong, _ she admitted,  _ but I’m a hypocrite now because of it. _ Ritsuko told her it was foolish to sacrifice all three Pilots just to kill one Angel, and it was, but Misato’s goal wasn’t just to kill the Angel, it was also saving the city and protecting the Geofront.  _ “There wasn’t anything else we could do, you had to insure that we killed the Angel,” _ Maya had told her after the ordeal was over,  _ “You made the right decision.” _

Ritsuko pulled herself back to reality. She was in her bathroom, in her regular everyday clothes, staring at herself in the mirror.  _ Did I make the right decision, Maya? Did I really? _ She asked herself. She shook her head, deciding that running over the same old ground wouldn’t benefit anybody. She took a deep breath in, taking in all of the scents around her. She smelt something, familiar. Ritsuko searched through the bathroom with her nose, finally locating the strange scent’s origin. “I need a bath,” she decided, as she found she smelled too much like LCL and hazmat suits.

“I need to go check on him after this, though.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. He could hear the screams. 

Shinji Ikari awoke to a blinding white light.  _ Not again, _ was his first thought. He didn’t want to go through it all again,  _ Not again. _ He began to turn his head to find the Reis, to hear the wheels go around and around, to feel-

He found himself in now familiar surroundings. It was a hospital room, it was  _ his  _ hospital room, the one he was always brought to. It was the one he had awoken in. He began the growing familiar process of waking up after an unknown period of time, blinking and trying to work his throat again. It would take half an hour to finally be ready to move his body, even though it would be painful and exhausting, he knew he had to. There wasn’t a single person around to tell him what was going on, so he had to figure it out himself somehow. He mustered the strength to lift his head,  _ At least I didn’t lose any more limbs, from the looks of it… _ Shinji’s prosthetic arm had been removed, which was unfortunate as it could’ve helped him get out of bed in seven minutes instead of the twenty-one that it took to fall onto the floor. He managed to massage his legs with his free hand while he laid his back against the wall. After that, he was able to stand up and shakily move about the room, recirculating his limbs. He was able to get to the bathroom and pee, which for him felt like an eternity and made a mess in the process. He carefully made his way to the sink to soothe his throat with water when he saw himself in the mirror. He had grown spotty patches of facial hair on his chin and jawline, while his sideburns had grown incredibly long and just as patchy. The hair on his head had also grown, enough to cover his forehead and eyes.  _ How long have I been asleep this time? _ Shinji thought as he greedily drank from the sink’s faucet. The water was lukewarm, but he wasn’t paying attention. All Shinji could feel was the hydration of his dry, strained voice and all he could think was the same question,  _ How long have I been asleep this time? _

“S-Shinji!?” Ritsuko spoke from behind the drinking boy, “Shinji, are you okay?” She took a step forward, when she was stopped by the boy who pointed at the toilet with the remainder of his right arm. She followed the arm’s aim to the toilet, finding the mess made and narrowly dodging the puddle. “Shinji, please, we’ll get you some cold water and food, but for now let’s get you to bed, alright?” The boy paused, then turned and nodded to the doctor.

Shinji Ikari had woken up, stumbled to the bathroom, performed the necessary actions in the bathroom, then promptly passed out into Ritsuko’s arms.

“Geez, a couple of comas and losing an arm and  _ I  _ thought you’d be a little less heavy!” Ritsuko strained as she carried the sleeping Shinji to his bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ritsuko checked her watch.  _ It’s been twenty minutes, she’ll be here any minute n- _

Before she could finish her thought, Misato burst through the door, “How is he? When did he wake up? Why didn’t you call me immediately?”

“When I entered the room, I found the bed empty and heard the sink’s faucet running in the bathroom,” Ritsuko calmly answered once Misato’s questioning had stopped, “I found him there drinking from the faucet after he had used the facilities. He passed out upon leaving and luckily I was there to catch him. I dragged him to the bed and called the Commander and then I called you. Does this answer your many questions?”

Misato stood silently for a moment, staring at her. “Yeah.”

“Does this mean we are friends again?”

“Not yet,” Misato deadpanned as she approached the bed, “but thank you for caring for him, Ritsuko.” 

The aforementioned doctor turned towards the door, “I’ll get nurses to come look after him with you. Considering he was able to get out of his bed by himself, I’d say he should be able to come back home with you by tonight,” before she left the room she added, “As long as a miracle happens, he should be able to go home.” 

Misato looked back towards Ritsuko, only to find her back as she turned down the hall. She sat down in the chair beside the bed, “Well, Shinji, I certainly hope this doesn’t become a habit.” She’d like to think that he’d laugh at that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Of course, I’ll let her know.” Kaji looked over his shoulder to find the redhead already rushing to her room to get changed. “But I don’t think I will need to, is there anything we should bring?”

Before he could hear an answer, Asuka yelled from down the hall, “I’m grabbing his bag! I’ve got it!”

“Uh, actually, Asuka says she has it covered,” Kaji chuckled, “but he is doing okay, right? How long do you think it’ll take for him to come back?” Asuka had re-entered the room, wearing her yellow sundress, craning her neck in an attempt to overhear the person on the other end to no avail. “Alright, we’ll be right over there, Ritz.” Kaji hung up and turned to grab his keys only to find Asuka.

“Here, hurry and go put your shoes on,” Asuka tossed the keys at Kanji’s chest, gaining a surprised grunt. The girl made her way to the door, “Don’t worry about tying them, there’s no time!” As she crossed the threshold she called back to him, “I’ll see you at your car!”

Kaji shook his head, “I feel sorry for ya, Shinji,” he began to slip his shoes on when he heard Asuka yell from down the hall.

“Hurry up, Kaji! I told you not to tie your shoes! You're being too slow!”

“I feel  _ really  _ sorry for ya,” Kaji sighed as he slipped on his other shoe and left the apartment, not wanting to keep the eager girl waiting any further.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hmm…”  _ This isn’t right. _ Kaji was watching Shinji as his friends interacted with him. Shinji only gave side glances and nods, and was actively trying not to look at any of them. At first, he thought it was just because of Asuka yelling at him about how worried she had made him, but when Rei arrived and he did the same thing to her and Misato he knew there was a problem. Shinji was usually like this though, so there was no problem, right?

Then Ritsuko arrived with nurses and Shinji’s new prosthetic arm and called Kaji outside into the hall. “You noticed it too, right?” She asked, “You noticed the change in him?” Kaji nodded solemnly. “I thought so. There is no way to know what happened to him in there unless he tells us.” She paused and gained a pained expression, “I doubt he will be ready for deployment anytime soon, nor do I think he will be ready to leave that bed, what do you think?”

“I agree,” Kaji responded after a moment’s debate, “But he’s going to be pressured into leaving by those two,” he thumbed over his shoulder towards the room. “We may need to isolate him from them, at least for a day or two.”

“Perhaps…” Ritsuko tapped her chin, “Perhaps he may make a faster recovery than we expect.”

“What makes you say that?” Kaji raised an eyebrow.

Ritsuko looked through the cracked door into the room. Through the several moving bodies in the room, she could see Shinji attaching his prosthetic back on by himself, and testing the connection levels by clenching his fist and unclenching it. She remembered it being damaged by the Tenth Angel, which reminded her of a miracle.

“Just a hunch.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so I'm going to try to write shorter chapters from now on. I realize that I have a tendency to make them too long, and I think you readers would enjoy it more if the chapters weren't as long. Anyways, I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think and I'll hopefully be posting again soon!


	13. CHAPTER 12: COMFORT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinji spends some much needed R&R with Asuka and Misato. Shinji also gets a haircut.

CHAPTER 12: COMFORT

“Hey, Shinji,” Asuka called out to the boy who only hummed in response, “You haven’t said anything yet, are you forgetting something that you should say to me in particular?” The boy appeared to think for a moment before quietly mumbling something. “Eh? What did you say? I couldn’t hear you~” Asuka cupped her ear and leaned closer to the boy.

“I’m sorry…” he said quietly, still looking down.

“What…?” Asuka was taken aback, but only for a moment, “No! You’re supposed to say ‘I love you’ and ‘thank you for fixing dinner’! Not ‘I’m sorry’!” Asuka scoffed and rolled her eyes, “Geez, I went through all of this work for you and you don’t even appreciate it! I…” The boy hadn’t moved, and she trailed off. “Look,” she sighed, “you don’t know what we were feeling when you disappeared into the Angel.” Asuka lowered her head slightly and looked away from Shinji, “I don’t know what happened to you in there, and honestly,” she paused and faced him, “I don’t want to know. I  _ do  _ want you to try to move on from what happened, because this,” she motioned towards his entire body, “ _ this _ isn’t healthy.” The air was tense, and she was blaming herself for that.  _ Say something, Idiot! _

After a long silence, Shinji spoke, “I… I know,” Asuka faced him, “I know that I should be happy to be alive, to see everyone again, but…” he trailed off. His mind wandered to the many things he saw and heard. He could still hear the screams. He was pulled back from that darkness by Asuka tugging at his shoulder. “Huh?”

“I said ‘don’t have an episode’,” Asuka said with a worried look, “I  _ was  _ joking but now I’m actually serious.” Shinji nodded, still looking down. Asuka followed his gaze to the bowl of instant noodles, “Oh, yeah.” Asuka stood up from the couch and picked up both bowls, “I’ll heat them up, find something for us to watch in the meantime, ‘kay?” Shinji simply nodded and began to surf channels.

He flipped through the channels, not paying much attention to what was being shown on them. They didn’t really interest him. Anime, movies, documentaries, the heavily modified news, the usual. He kept flipping even as Asuka walked in and placed both bowls on the table.

“Wait, go back!” Asuka blurted out, pointing slightly to the left of the tv. Shinji complied, turning back to an old nature documentary. It showed the rainforest, “Ooh! I’ve always wanted to see that place!” Shinji recalled learning what happened to the area after the Second Impact. Due to the increase of temperature worldwide, the area’s fauna and flora began to die off and the area soon became a barren swamp. Shinji placed the remote down onto the table and picked up his bowl and began to eat. Asuka watched the film with great interest while eating little in order to better hear the information being given to her. Shinji ate his food quickly, making a bit of racket, garnering some agitated glances from Asuka. The movie ended, and Asuka had enjoyed herself immensely. Shinji, on the other hand, had barely watched it. By the time it had finished, Asuka had moved onto the couch to cuddle with the other occupant. She was playing with his growing hair, “You need a big trim, you know that?” Shinji turned his head enough to look at her from the corner of his eye, “Don’t worry, I’ll give you a trim!”

“Do you really think that’s a good idea, Asuka?” a voice spoke from the hallway. The couch dwellers turned to find their guardian leaning against the wall with a raised eyebrow and half-smirk. “How much experience do you have in the styling business?”

Asuka huffed, “I have plenty of style! And cutting hair can’t be that difficult,” she raised some of the hair she had been playing with with her finger. She looked over at the owner of the hair, “You trust me with your hair, right Shin?” The boy gave no semblance of a response.

Misato walked over to the couch while laughing, “I think he may be afraid to tell you this, but that isn’t what someone wants to hear from the person about to cut their hair. Wanna know why?”

Asuka’s eye twitched, “No, but I’m sure you’ll tell me anyways,” she replied through clenched teeth.

Misato took one of Shinji’s bangs in between her index and thumb, “Because, cutting hair isn’t easy,” she dropped the hair, “there are many things necessary to make a haircut comfortable and decent looking. Why don’t we call Rei over?” Asuka released a groan that Misato ignored, “She cuts her hair by herself, so cutting someone else’s hair should be no big deal for her.” Misato crouched down to match Shinji’s height, “So, what do you say, Shinji?”

He saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body, he saw Rei’s face and naked body.

Shinji shook his head, “N-no, I-I think it’s fine for now.”

Misato tilted her head and gave a lopsided smile and opened her mouth to speak when Asuka interrupted, “What? Shinji, no, your hair is a mess! I can’t have people seeing you like this,” she grabbed a handful of hair from the back of his head, “I mean, do you  _ want _ people to think you’re some homeless person?”

“N-no, I just-”

“No, you are getting a haircut and that’s final!” Asuka stood up and held an authoritative finger up, “Maybe  _ I  _ don’t have any good experience,” she looked at Misato from the corner of her eye and inwardly smiled, “so why not have  _ her _ !” The finger tilted towards the now stunned guardian.

“W-well…” Misato scratched the back of her head and thought about it. While it was true that she had a bit of experience in cutting hair, it was mostly just trimming her own (which she forgot to do most of the time).  _ Well, there is  _ him _ , so… _ Misato had cut Kaji’s hair on a few occasions, neither really considered the job ‘well done’. “Well, Shinji,” she breathed in slowly and exhaled at the same speed in order to collect her thoughts, “...listen, if you really want me to, I can.” Misato waved her hands in front of her, “It probably won’t be very good, but if you  _ truly  _ want me to, then just tell me and we’ll get it done right then, okay?”

“Okay,” Shinji responded after a moment, “then let’s go ahead.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, Misato!” Asuka smiled outward, “let’s go ahead then!”

“O-oh…” The woman gazed down, defeated.  _ I guess we’re doing this… _ “Okay…”

Shinji was sitting in a chair in the kitchen with his shirt off, completely calm. Asuka, meanwhile, was completely  _ worried _ .  _ Misato, I hope you’re better with cutting hair than cooking, or else Shinji might look even more like a homeless person…  _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

* _ Snip snip* _

Shinji felt the scissors barely miss his ear as Misato cut the hair. She started with the top, moving on towards the back before finishing with the sides. Shinji didn’t really want to get his hair cut. It made him feel safer when it hung around his face, like a sort of shield. He enjoyed the feeling of the hair being blown by the wind. He thought it’d be nice to have some more hair, anyways.

“Alright! All done!” But it was too late for that and Asuka didn’t seem like she was going to take ‘no’ for an answer. Misato walked in front of Shinji, “Well, you should probably go take a bath to get all of that hair off of you.”

“And shave,” Asuka pointed out from the couch.

Shinji nodded and walked to the bathroom, trying his best not to leave a trail of stray strands. When he entered the bathroom he took a look at the mirror. His hair was cut much shorter than he wanted it to be, but he supposed that was on him. He never said what he wanted, that duty had fallen to Asuka. His shoulders were covered in hair, and they were beginning to itch.  _ I guess I should take the bath first. _ He turned the water on while he used some wet toilet paper to carefully remove what hair he could from his body before stepping into the tub. When he got in, he slowly eased himself in, hoping the building sense of unease would dissipate in the warmth of the water.  _ Warmth _ . It was warm, and familiar. It reminded him of something too familiar…

It reminded him of the Entry Plug. It reminded him of the Twelfth Angel. It reminded him of the dread he felt in there. It reminded him of calling out for somebody, anybody, to just simply help him. He remembered calling out to Misato, Asuka, Rei, Ritsuko, Kaji, Maya, Fuyutsuki, Makoto, Gendo, and even his mother but to no avail.  _ Ritsuko, Misato, Rei, Asuka… _ Shinji remembered Asuka telling him the plan that had been arranged due to his disappearance into the Angel.  _ Ritsuko… _ No, not just Ritsuko, but they all were going to let him die. They may not have liked it, but they were completely willing to allow him to die.  _ No, they were planning to kill me. _ He quickly washed off what hair was left and cleaned himself and exited the bathtub. He dried himself off and wrapped the towel around his waist before he began to shave. He rushed the job, and he saw he had cut himself a few times, but he was clean shaven. He also noticed something else: he had bags under his eyes.  _ I guess I should get to bed… _

However, when he did get to his room, he found Asuka laying on his bed in a  _ certain  _ outfit and felt the towel around his waist grow tighter in a  _ certain _ area.  _ I guess I should go to bed right after this…  _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya! I know this chapter's a bit weird (at least to me it is, but that is a matter of opinion), but to me it was important to try to get some more of the relationships into this as I feel I've neglected them. Also, I really wanted some happy fun times after Chapters 10 and 11. Also, chapters will be a bit shorter from now on. Anyways, thanks for reading! I'll see you next time! Bye!


	14. CHAPTER 13: BEHIND ONE'S BACK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asuka has lunch by herself as Shinji gets some tutoring from Kensuke, but she is interrupted by an odd request and when she witnesses something awful.

CHAPTER 13: BEHIND ONE’S BACK

_ Finally, lunch. _ Asuka opened the boxed lunch Shinji had made for her that morning. Shinji had woken up early and made some yaki udon. Speaking of which, Shin had decided to get help with his missed classwork from Four-Eyes, so Asuka was eating lunch alone ( _ Again _ ). “Pretty good, Shin,” Asuka said to herself quietly, “ _ pretty  _ good.” She continued to eat while watching her classmates talk amongst themselves. It was mostly gossip, though some caught her attention (especially when it was about Shinji).  _ Why can’t they focus on somebody else? Yeah, he’s been almost as absent as Wondergirl, but come on!  _ Asuka didn’t like gossip, but it was usually a good way to pass the time. She could laugh at how incorrect people’s perceptions were, or be a little impressed at how close they were instead. But this was a bit different, this wasn’t someone Asuka had little respect for, this was  _ her _ boyfriend, dammit! Multiple times she did think about approaching them and teaching them a lesson in manners. 

“ _ I heard he was like some super soldier or something,”  _ one girl said to her friend, “ _ you know, like that one movie, ‘ _ Roboguy’.”

It was mostly silly stuff such as that, but that didn’t make the redhead feel better.  _ A robot? Seriously? That’s the best they have? _ Though all other rumors and gossip would be forgotten, that one remained in her mind.  _ He isn’t a robot, that’s just stupid! _

“Excuse me,” Asuka stiffened. She slowly turned around in her seat to face the voice behind her,  _ Now  _ she  _ might actually be a robot. _ Rei stood there with her hands behind her back, waiting for Asuka’s response. She didn’t want to bother someone who was eating, but this was important. “Asuka, may I speak with you in private?”

Asuka sighed, “How ‘bout later,” she shoved a large amount of food into her mouth, “I’m busy, ‘kay?”  _ Come on, leave me alone, cyborg! _

Rei looked disappointed, “O-oh, I see…” the bluenette shifted her weight on her feet before handing Asuka an envelope, “Can you give this to Suzuhara, please? It’s important.” She left quickly. Asuka would be lying if she said she wasn’t a little bit surprised. No, stunned into disbelief,  _ This isn’t what I think it is, is it? _ She examined the envelope. On it was ‘Touji Suzuhara’ written on the front.  _ That’s definitely her hand writing… _ She turned the envelope over and froze. The thing that was sealing the envelope was a simple sticker. Asuka’s brain stopped for a moment, “What in the fuck…” The sticker was a small pink heart. A heart.  _ No way _ . Her brain’s wheels slowly began to turn as the thought finally settled in her mind.  _ She likes the Ape? _

She looked in the boy’s direction to find Hikari standing at his desk. Touji had no lunch, and if the redhead was thinking properly, then she would have asked the question:  _ Why doesn’t he have any lunch? Doesn’t he usually? _ She wouldn’t know the answer, but she could take a guess. But she wasn’t thinking properly, so all she could do was listen.

“W-well,” Hikari leaned her weight onto one leg, “if you want, I could make you lunch!” Asuka saw it. “I make lunch for my sisters and me, so making one more wouldn’t be too much trouble!” she smiled brightly.

Touji nodded, “Oh, sure,” he scratched his shoulder, “I mean if you really want to, though.” He gave a small smile, “I don’t really want to trouble you or anything, so you don’t have to do that.”

“I-it’s fine! Really! No trouble at all!” Hikari blurted out, “Just let me know when you want some lunch the next day and I will make some for you!”

“Thanks, I’ll let you know then.” They said their farewells and Hikari left the classroom.

Asuka was left stunned for a few minutes, only pulled back into reality by the tone that indicated lunch was over. She quickly packed her lunch, thinking to herself,  _ What the hell did I just see? What the hell did I get pulled into?  _ But she already knew, and it was going to consume her thoughts for the rest of that class period.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘ _Class rooftop. 5 minutes._ ** _DO NOT_** _be late._ _-Asuka’_

Touji read the message a few times, but came to the same conclusion:  _ Great, she’s gonna yell at me for Hikari talking to me. _ Asuka usually ganged up on him whenever Hikari got onto him.  _ I didn’t even do anything this time! _ He sighed as quietly as he could. There were four minutes of class left, and he didn’t want to be late and get yelled at for something  _ else _ . When the bell finally did ring, he immediately got up and began making his way towards the school roof, while Asuka followed ten seconds later. 

This didn’t go unnoticed by Hikari.  _ Did she find out??? _ Hikari inwardly panicked. Asuka wouldn’t let this go, and she would probably try to set her up with someone else. All in all, it would be awful, so Hikari wanted to try to trick the redhead. No, she  _ needed _ to. She stood up to follow the two when someone tapped on her shoulder.

“Excuse me, Horaki?” Rei asked. 

“O-oh, yes, Rei?”  _ Now isn’t the time! Please be quick, I need to- _

“I would like to discuss some things with you if, as the class representative, you wouldn’t mind.”

That was the nail in the coffin, and she couldn’t say no.  _ As class representative, I have to… _ “Sure, Rei!” Hikari forced a smile, “Uhm, how long do you think we will talk for? I need to use the bathroom.” It was her final move, the only move that she could use in this situation. It always worked, but she rarely used it to ensure its effectiveness.

“It might be a little bit, and I also need to use the bathroom, so let’s discuss it on the way.” Rei took Hikari’s hand and pulled the despairing girl to the bathroom.  _ How did it fail…? _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Asuka had the plan set into motion. If she was right, and she always was, then Rei had a crush on Touji. Why? She neither knew why or cared to know why. Asuka Soryuu Langley was going to protect her friend from the Ape in any way possible. Rei’s crush was the perfect out for Hikari. She saw the blush on the class rep’s face and knew based on the way the girl was acting.  _ Hikari, I will find you a true man, _ Asuka was determined. Touji walked through the door that led to the school’s roof.  _ Right after I ‘help’ Wondergirl. _

Asuka opened the door and found the Ape waiting, “Alright, what’d I do this time?” She didn’t respond. Instead, she pulled out the envelope and handed it to him with the sticker side up. The boy froze for a moment as he studied the envelope. He looked up and studied Asuka’s face, “Who’s this from? Is it from Hik-”

“Ayanami.”

“Ah,” he looked slightly disappointed, but Asuka didn’t care, “I see.” He looked her up and down in a way that made Asuka feel uneasy. Not because she felt like he was undressing her with his eyes or something like that, but because she felt like she was being studied under a microscope. “So, why are you helping her?”

Asuka was taken aback, but she tried not to show it. She didn’t really think she had to try too hard, but quickly realized that this wasn’t going to be easy. “Uh, because she is my fellow pilot? Why wouldn’t I?”

Touji furrowed his brow, “Because, I’m certain you actually hate her guts.”  _ What the hell is going on? _ The girl wondered. “Listen, I don’t care about your fight, but leave me out of it, alright? She probably didn’t even write it,” he said as he turned the envelope over, studying the handwriting. Asuka noticed him squint when he saw his name, as if he was studying it. “You didn’t write this…” Touji said after a moment.

“Really?” the redhead’s words bursting with sarcasm, “What gave it away?”

“Your handwriting’s terrible,” he answered before opening the envelope and taking out its contents. He read silently for a minute or so, leaving Asuka in anticipation. Finally he dropped the envelope, “So, this isn’t a joke, right?”

“What?” Asuka raised an eyebrow.  _ Seriously? Why would I joke about this? _ Then she remembered she disliked the Ape and  _ did _ hate Wondergirl.  _ Oh yeah, this would be a really funny joke if it wasn’t real. _

“No, I don’t think you’re this cruel.” Touji looked Asuka in the eyes, “You didn’t know what was in that,” he nodded towards the envelope, “did you?” He wasn’t asking, because he already had his answer when Asuka simply tilted her head slightly. “Alright, so, I have some questions about piloting.”

Asuka was silent for a moment before she began laughing, “And  _ you  _ accused  _ me _ of joking? Wow!” she shook her head in disappointment.

“Yeah, well, when you get a letter with a heart on it from  _ you _ it’s quite worrying.” Touji deadpanned. “Especially when it is  _ this _ ,” he held the paper in front of the laughing girl. She stopped laughing when she saw the NERV logo. “So, can you do a couple of things for me?” Asuka silently nodded with a grim expression, all laughter and lighthearted feelings now replaced with the grim prospect of death. “First, I want you to tell me what I need to know to pilot those things like you guys do. Second, know that I’m not as stupid as I act. I act like that because it helps  _ certain _ people,” he raised his eyebrows once, to which Asuka nodded in understanding. “And speaking of  _ certain  _ people,” he breathed in and sighed.

“What about him?”

“Third, don’t tell him, and don’t let anyone else tell him, either. Let it be me, please.”

Asuka stood there a moment before giving him her answer: “I promise I won’t let anyone tell him.”

“Thank you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually really like Touji's character, and always found him great. I also read through the chapters a bit and found out that my favourite chapter was Chapter 7: Emotions. It's surprisingly fun to write from her perspective, so I wanted to do that again. Anyways, I hope you enjoy! See ya next time!


	15. CHAPTER 14: PROMISES

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Unit 03 vanishes in an explosion, Unit 04 is brought to Japan to test a new prototype technology for Evangelion. The test activation for Unit 04 is today, and every precaution has been taken. But you know what they say about plans and mice and men...

CHAPTER 14: PROMISES

“Unit 03?” Misato asked, “I thought that was being developed in the United States’ branch.”

“It was,” Kaji responded, handing a cigarette to the woman who laid next to him, “but Unit 04 and the facility that it was in was destroyed.”

“What!?” Misato shot up, “How? W-who?”

“Nobody is sure at this time,” Kaji held the cigarette up to her and lit it. She put the lit cigarette in between her lips and took a long drag while Kaji continued, “But there was the development of the S2 Engine there, and the current theory is that the whole damn place blew up when they put it into the Eva.”

“What about your theory?” Misato released the cloud of smoke.

“Me? Well, I think that there was a problem. Accidental? There’s a chance, but I personally find it unlikely. I think there was a saboteur.”

“Like with the Eleventh Angel?” Misato tilted her head, thinking.

“Again, there’s a chance, but I think it’s much more likely than ‘there was an accident and we lost an entire Eva’. The security of an Evangelion is always top priority, so I doubt anyone would skimp on the safety protocols there, do you?” Kaji looked her in the eyes.

“Maybe, there have been large budget cuts here,” she waved the cigarette down, “so perhaps they’re getting them there too,” she waved the cigarette behind her. 

“Hmm…” Kaji thought for a moment,  _ It’s not that, even if there is a budget cut on the facility, there is a set budget on Eva production. I need to investigate this further… _ “Maybe you’re right, I’ll have to remember to look into that later.”

“Just,” Misato lightly dragged her index and middle fingers across Kaji’s chest, “don’t get too caught up in your research that you forget  _ other  _ things~”

“Don’t worry, I could never forget you~” Kaji cooed.  _ Don’t worry, I won’t forget you.  _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“They’re late.” The Commander, Gendo Ikari, stood still on the edge of the runway. 

“They said they had met some turbulence and would most likely be a little late. I’m sure the plane will come into sight soon,” Fuyustuki assured from behind.

A few minutes later the plane started to come into focus from the horizon. Under the behemoth hung a cross. “It doesn’t matter if they hit turbulence or not, they shouldn’t be late,” Gendo turned and began to walk away towards the car, “We have too much at stake here.”

Fuyutsuki joined the Commander, leaving the rest of the procedures to the Major and the Doctor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Touji tossed the papers into the fire. He didn’t want to pilot, not after what he saw when he was put into Unit 01. He saw the pain that the Pilots go through. He saw Shinji’s arm after he was gone for a few weeks. In fact, every time he was absent from school for more than a day or two Shinji always returned looking worse. To say that Touji was scared would be an understatement. He was terrified. He knew what those machines could do, and he didn’t want to injure someone else’s little sister…

But he had to. If he did this, his little sister would be cared for. He _had_ to do this. He breathed in deeply and exhaled slowly, steeling himself for the journey ahead. Touji Suzuhara turned away from the school’s garbage incinerator and walked towards the train station, and he rode as close to the NERV headquarters as he could. When he arrived, he steeled himself once again before entering the building.

“Here we go. Don’t worry, Sakura, everything’s gonna be alright…” He crossed the threshold, trying his best to remember the tips that Asuka had told him earlier that afternoon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Alright, now just press the button on your wrist,” the boy pressed the button, jumping in surprise when the plugsuit became skin-tight around his body. She realized why the boy was grimacing and holding his crotch, “Ah, yes…” Ritsuko hung her head in shame, “I forgot to tell you to shave, as the suit can and will quickly rip out your hairs-”

“Yeah, I know that already, asshole!” Touji yelled in anger after a moment. He began to curse up a storm as he tried to maneuver the suit into a more comfortable fit.

Ritsuko laughed to herself before continuing with business, “Alright, Suzuhara, if you would follow me to your Evangelion Unit’s hangar I can brief you on many aspects of the machine you will be piloting to make sure you will be comfortable and effective while in the Entry Plug.” She looked over her shoulder at the Fourth Child.

With confusion evident on his face he replied, “Listen lady, as long as it’s comfortable and isn’t ripping anything else out of me I think I’ll be fine.” He began to follow her, walking with a widened leg stance.

Touji is escorted into the Entry Plug and walked through the procedure thoroughly by Ritsuko. She didn’t want this to go wrong. There was too much that could go wrong, and with the disappearance of Unit 03 and the circumstances surrounding the incident she knew that this wasn’t safe.  _ Never is… _ the doctor silently reflected.  _ Just wish this could’ve been performed by someone who knows what they’re doing. _

“Alright,” Touji waved her off, “I’m pretty sure I’ve got this.” Before Ritsuko could leave she felt something grab her wrist, “But if I need to I can just call and ask you a question, right?”

She nodded, “Of course, if anything is troubling you please contact me immediately. Your comfort is paramount in ensuring that this test is a success, afterall.” Touji released his grip and nodded, slightly soothed by her affirmation. “Now, we’ll begin in just a few minutes and we’ll be in contact the entire time, alright?”

“Gotcha.”

“Good,” Ritsuko said before leaving. She looked the Evangelion up and down before she stepped into the command center.  _ It looks fine, _ Ritsuko’s heart was beating at a steady rhythm. It was faster than she liked.  _ Just pray it stays that way… _

She entered the room and opened the comm link with the young pilot-to-be, “Alright Touji, are you ready?”

“Does it matter if I’m ready or not?” the boy scoffed.

“Well, that depends,” Ritsuko answered matter-of-factly, “Do you believe your performance will be affected if we were to go ahead and initiate the activation process?”

“Uhhh…” he thought about it for a moment before coming to his answer, “I guess not?”

“Good enough for me,” Ritsuko replied, closing the link. She turned and faced the technicians, “Alright, let’s begin the process and make sure that communications is online the  _ entire _ time. If it goes off I want an immediate abortion of the procedure, understood?”

“Yes ma’am.”

It was going smoothly, all systems were synching up nicely and it seemed that the test would be successful in starting up.  _ Good, good, good… _ Ritsuko examined each system’s start up and noted which ones that were taking longer so that she could look into them later when her thoughts were interrupted by flashing red lights and an alarm. It was failing, and the Eva was refusing to abort.

“No…”

The last thing Ritsuko saw was the blinding white flash from Unit 04.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so I know I said I'd update soon, but then some things came up and I lost inspiration there for a little bit. I hope to update more frequently, but let's be honest: my track record kinda shows what will most likely happen. Anyways, hope yo enjoy!


	16. CHAPTER 14, PART 2: THE BEST LAID PLANS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The best laid schemes o' mice an' men Gang aft a-gley.” -Robert Burns, "To a Mouse"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so I just want to warn you that I am not the best at writing fights, so if you guys don't like this or have some tips you want to give me, let me know! I'd love input for improving my writing for later chapters and I also want to say that I love reading comments from all of you so I implore you to comment (if you really want to, at least) as it really helps me write. Anyways, notes at the end!

CHAPTER 14, PART 2: THE BEST MADE PLANS

“WHAT!?” Asuka shouted. Her phone just _had_ to ring in the middle of class, but the contents of the call were far too important to ignore. And you don’t really just decline a call from the Commander. “WE’RE ON OUR WAY NOW!” The entire class was staring at her as she kicked her chair back and motioned for Shinji and Rei to follow before hanging up the phone.

“Asuka, what’s wrong?” Shinji asked as he stood up, worry plastered on his face.

“NOT HERE, ALRIGHT!” Asuka grabbed him by the collar and started to run, dragging the flailing boy through the door with Rei not too far behind, “I’LL TELL YOU TWO WHEN WE GET TO NERV HQ, GOT IT!?” She released his collar as she broke into a full sprint through the school. The other two Pilots followed suit, as neither had seen the girl act this way before so they both knew this was a dire situation.

“Alright!” Shinji managed to yell forward to the redhead as they exited the school, “But can you at least tell us who called?”

“Your dad!”

With that, they all ran to the HQ, scared of what it would take for the Commander of NERV to personally call them instead of Misato or Ritsuko.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Asuka, I have already explained the situation to you,” Gendo spoke quickly, “I have no time nor need to repeat myself.”

“But, sir-” 

Gendo held up his hand to silence the redhead, “Get into your Evas and prepare to launch, that’s an order.” He turned and walked away from the children.

The three were silent for a moment, “Asuka you can tell us on the way towards our objective,” Rei began towards the locker room. Asuka felt a tinge of anger, being ordered around like that. But she was right, she knew that.

“Alright,” Asuka entered the locker room and grabbed her plugsuit and left the room and speaking loud enough for her voice to carry through both locker rooms to reach both Pilot’s ears. “So long story short Misato and Ritsuko were at the activation test for Unit 04 when something bad happened,” she clicked the button at her wrist to tighten the suit, “No contact from the team there, but Unit 04 is berserk from an Angel or something and we need to go stop it,” Shinji and Rei stepped out of the rooms with their plug suits on and tightened, “Any questions?”

“No,” Shinji started jogging down the hall, “We have our orders, let’s go!” Rei followed quickly with Asuka lagging only a second behind. They entered their respective Evas and launched to the surface. “Alright, so what’s the plan?”

“I have a suggestion,” Rei spoke first, “I am sortied to attack from afar, while the two of you are sortied for close-range-combat. You two hold it in place and we hit the core of the Angel.”

“Wait, what about the pilot?” Shinji asked. “If we attack, then won’t we hurt the pilot?” Asuka shifted in her seat.

“Our goal is to stop the Angel, regardless of collateral.”

Before Shinji could argue Asuka spoke up, “But we have always tried to save the Pilots and their Evas-”

“That is incorrect, Asuka,” Rei shook her head, “We have always _managed_ to save the Pilots and recovered the Evangelion.”

Asuka was stunned into silence, _You cold bitch…_ She couldn’t argue with the First Children, though. Rei was right: Mount Asama was Asuka getting lucky and Shinji catching her, the Twelfth Angel Shinji was lucky enough to rip apart with Unit 01 before the N2 mines were dropped. “Well, let’s see if we can get them out of there,” Shinji interrupted the redhead’s inner monologue, “We managed to save all Pilots so far, we can save this one too.” Shinji began forward. Asuka shook her head and followed behind. Rei got into position behind one of the buildings nearby.

The Thirteenth Angel entered into view from the hills. Unit 00 took aim but didn’t put her finger on the trigger. Unit 01 crouched and made its way up the right while Unit 02 went up the left. Unit 01 was moving slowly and as quietly as a forty-two and a half meter tall robot could. Unit 02 wasn’t as successful in its stealth attempts. Unit 02 arrived in position, catching a powerline on its back. On Unit 03’s right was the sound of metal straining from being pulled. With speed rivaling that of the other Angels, it tore through a building and struck Unit 02. The Second Children wouldn’t be able to finish the message in time for the Third Children to receive. Unit 03 grabbed Unit 02 by the throat and drug it around its feet in a circle before releasing the built up momentum, raising Unit 02 before letting it go in the direction of Unit 00. Unit 00 was hit before it could fire the rifle, slamming it into the ground and pinning it beneath a motionless Unit 02. 

Unit 01 stood straight, facing the Angel. There was no movement between either as they studied one another. Shinji realized the full situation in that moment: there was an innocent person inside of something that they had no control of, something that didn’t care about them living or dying. 

“I can’t do this…” the Pilot spoke quietly, unaware that anyone was listening.

“Unit 01, why are you still hesitating?” the Commander didn’t really ask. He knew the answer he would receive.

“T-there’s somebody in there! W-we can’t just attack while they’re still in there! W-we could-”

“It is a small price to pay, Shinji, for the price of humanity,” Gendo replied in a colder tone than usual, “Shinji, if that Angel is able to breach the Geofront then the world, and in turn humanity, will be destroyed. The life of that one person within Unit 03 is not more important than the lives of everyone on this planet.” 

Shinji understood. _All for one or one for all…_ “Fine,” he said begrudgingly, “where’s the core?”

“The Angel has rooted its body into the Entry Plug. If you destroy it, the Angel will be eliminated.” Gendo typed on the keyboard in front of him, preparing the Dummy Plug for activation.

“Alright, I’ll try removing it but if it comes down to it…” Shinji swallowed the lump in his throat, “...I’ll eliminate the Angel, sir.” Unit 01 charged forward. 

Unit 01 sped forward, launching itself towards the Angel’s throat. Unit 03 stepped towards the side to dodge the left arm only to be grappled by the right arm and brought to the ground. It thrashed around, punching and kicking Unit 01. Unit 03 placed its foot on its foe’s chest, pushing Unit 01 away. Unit 03 was on its feet in a mere second, ramming into Unit 01’s stomach. The air was filled with dust and debris from the road being kicked up from Unit 01’s failed attempts to stop the charging Angel. Unit 01 reached for the slightly protruding Entry Plug, but couldn’t get a good enough grip on it before it was slammed into a mountain. Shinji’s skull throbbed as Unit 01’s head was whipped into the face of the mountain, stunning the Pilot. Unit 03 stood tall and opened its mouth and let loose a deep roar that held a high-pitched shriek within the Evangelion’s voice. It slammed its still roaring mouth down onto the area between Unit 01’s throat and shoulder, causing Shinji to feel his skin opening up beneath the plug suit. He didn’t know if it was blood intermingling with the LCL or if it was something else but red filled his vision. He screamed in rage and felt his body strain as Unit 01 began lifting the Angel off of it, ripping Unit 03’s head away from the area its head was clamped down on.

Shinji could vaguely hear warnings blaring behind a deep drone that was ringing in his ears, and he took no interest in the warnings that were popping up in his peripheral vision. Unit 01 had lifted Unit 03 off the ground, gripping the squirming creature tightly when Shinji strained both his Eva and his own body to put as much force into Unit 03 as it was slammed into the ruined pavement. The ground shook with the violence from Unit 01’s attack that several buildings that were untouched by either of the large machines were felled by the wrath. Shinji heard something in the back of his mind that was pleading with him to stop, trying to reason that this was hurting the other Pilot. That voice was drowned out by the sharp pain in the middle of his ribs on his left side where Unit 01 was stabbed by the grounded Angel using a piece of a crashed power pylon. Unit 01’s fists began crashing into the Angel’s head, filling the air with the sounds of metal crunching and scraping against metal and metal slamming into damp flesh. Unit 01 stood up when Unit 03 stopped squirming and held its hands up. Unit 01 grabbed it by the wrist and flipped it over onto Unit 03’s stomach before planting its foot down onto its lower back and began tearing the arm off the machine. Shinji’s hand froze above the Entry Plug for a moment. He heard a familiar voice pleading for him to stop, but it was drowned out by two words.

“Do it.”

Unit 01’s hand slammed into the back of Unit 03, tearing out the Entry Plug with difficulty as the Angel attempted to pull it back in. Unit 03’s remaining arm swung around, attempting to reach the Entry Plug to no avail. Once it was almost out with both of Unit 01’s hands wrapped around it, Shinji heard the order once more.

“Do it.”

And so, Unit 01 twisted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah, I made a little change to the story here because I thought about how it would affect all the characters more emotionally. I'll have an update added by the end of next week, but I don't exactly know when as my classes are starting soon and I'll be even more busy very soon. But, hopefully I will also be able to have a more consistent update schedule by next week, so yeah! I hope you enjoyed and I look forward to giving you another chapter very soon, but until then bye!!! Be safe out there in the dangerous world!!! :)


	17. CHAPTER 15: CIRCLE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misato wakes up after suffering an injury from the failed activation test of Unit 03, and Kaji does some gardening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter, I might write up a couple of side stories from Asuka and Rei's points of view. If I don't I apologize. Enjoy!

CHAPTER 15: CIRCLE

“Mmmhh…” Misato groaned. Her head was splitting and she felt dizzy. She slowly opened her eyes and was confronted with a blurry white room. Slowly, everything came into focus as a hospital room.  _ So this is how it feels… _

“Hey,” Misato looked towards her right and found Kaji sitting with his legs crossed in a chair with a book in his lap. 

“...hey…” was all Misato could come up with through the fuzziness that was currently her mind, “...w-wha-”

“‘What happened? Is everyone okay? Where is Unit 03?’” Kaji closed the book and uncrossed his legs, “Is that what you’re wanting to ask?” Misato nodded. “Well,” he scooted the chair closer to the bed so that she wouldn’t have to crane her neck to see him, “it’s a long story.” His smile slowly faded and he looked away from her, “The activation test for Unit 03 went south, and many were injured,” Misato made a motion to speak that didn’t go unnoticed by Kaji who quickly added, “Ritsuko is alive, along with many technicians and crewmen. You were lucky, along with Ritsuko,” he paused and lightly brushed his thumb across her forehead, which drew her attention to the feeling of his thumb brushing over some bandages wrapped around her forehead. “You got away with just a concussion, and you’ve been here for a couple of days already. You’ll be out the day after tomorrow.”

“Ok...ok…” Misato repeated a few times quietly.

“Unit 03 was classified as the Thirteenth Angel and Evangelion Units 00, 01, and 02 were mobilized immediately to subdue the threat.”

With wide eyes and bearing a face of worry, Misato turned and questioned the man with her eyes.

“Unit 03 was infected by the Angel, possibly while it was being transported, but we aren’t completely sure,” Kaji answered, but that didn’t ease Misato’s worries. So he continued the report, “Units 00 and 02 were attacked and quickly incapacitated by the Angel using Unit 03’s strength and speed, leaving Unit 01 to fight the Angel alone.”

“Shinji? Is he-” Misato was trying to sit up but the throbbing quickly became a piercing pain through her skull, causing her to hiss in pain and quickly lay back down. Kaji gently stroked her hair for a few minutes before continuing.

“Shinji is… well, that’s a bit complicated but he’s alive at the moment.” Misato was about to try to sit up again before Kaji lightly placed his palm on the center of her chest, “I’ll tell you everything, but you won’t get to see him any sooner if you don’t rest and recover, alright?” Misato’s head pains were forgotten as she instead began to feel her heart slamming against her chest, “Misato, just listen, at least, before you go off and go against the doctor’s orders,” she was about to pull herself up into a sitting position when he added a pleading “please?” Misato relaxed her body back down, hanging onto every word that the man spoke next.

“Shinji was ordered to eliminate the Angel by the Commander. Unit 01 destroyed Unit 03 and crushed the Entry Plug,” Kaji paused and casted his gaze down, “...Pilot Touji Suzuhara’s body was recovered from the Entry Plug.” A moment of silence hung in the air for a minute before he shook his head and lifted his gaze to Misato’s eyes, “Shinji eliminated the Thirteenth Angel by destroying its core, the Entry Plug.”

“Does he-”

“He saw Suzuhara’s body removed from the wreckage. He knows,” Kaji sat back in the chair, removing his hand from Misato’s chest, “When he found out, he threatened to destroy NERV Headquarters with the amount of battery he had left within Unit 01 before Maya was ordered to turn the LCL pressure up and knocked him out. He’s currently being held as a prisoner of NERV in a meeting with his father.”

_ This can’t be happening.  _ “And the other two?”

“Asuka and Rei were released the morning after the Angel attack, and I’ve been taking care of Asuka at your place while Rei insisted on staying alone at hers.”

“Oh…” was all Misato could muster. Shinji was tricked, that was obvious to her. But she allowed that to happen. She was going to tell him after the activation test.  _ I should’ve told him. _ “Why didn’t Asuka or Rei tell him who the Pilot was?”

“Well,” Kaji shifted in his seat, visibly uncomfortable, “Asuka says she tried to, but she was incapacitated during the battle and-”

“She should have told him  _ sooner _ .”

“Suzuhara wanted to tell Shinji himself after the activation test,” Kaji said after a moment, “he had Asuka promise not to say anything and I assume he asked the same of Rei.” Misato just stared at the ceiling. “What’s done is done,” Kaji sighed, “Right now, we just need to try to support Shinji through this.”

“Don’t want to lose a Pilot now, huh?” Misato scoffed.

“Right, especially not now as we don’t have any extra Evangelion finished and ready for an activation test.” Kaji checked his watch. It was getting late, “Hey, I gotta go and make sure Asuka get’s home safe, I’ll be back tomorrow.” He smiled genuinely as he stood and lightly patted her shoulder.

“Yeah,” Misato said, feeling the head pains once again as her mind was filled with thoughts of Shinji and what was going to happen to him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaji began to water his plants. “Yeesh,” he rubbed his cheek, trying to rub away the slight stinging pain that remained there, “I said I was sorry.” Kaji would forever remind himself to knock before he opened a door to  _ any  _ restroom. Being called a pervert and slapped by the young redhead wasn’t a good feeling, Kaji discovered.  _ How the hell did that kid put up with it? _

A stone bounced from the nearby road down to where Kaji was watering the ground. He looked up to the road to find a figure with a duffle bag and missing an arm.  _ Speak of the devil… _ “Hey! That you Shinji?” Kaji shouted, causing the figure to stop for a moment before approaching. “Hey, we haven’t heard from ya in a little bit,” Kaji said as Shinji got close enough where shouting was not necessary. He eyed the bag and the missing prosthetic, “So, you thinking about leaving?”

Shinji simply nodded once.

“Well, you need to tell Asuka,” Shinji looked away shamefully. “But, that can wait,” Shinji looked back at Kaji with a quizzical expression, “You want to help me take care of my little garden?”

Shinji looked across the plants, “You garden?” he asked coldly, similar to the Commander’s voice.

“Yeah,” Kaji smiled proudly, “I do. It’s calming and it helps me think.” He stood up and glanced over to his right, where Shinji was studying the area. “Listen,” Shinji turned his head to face him, “I know you want to quit because of what happened,” the boy’s head fell, “I know you regret what happened and blame yourself, but…” Kaji looked around him, as if he could find the words to help the boy. “Come here,” Kaji motioned for the boy to follow him. “See this?” he lifted a blackened vine with a watermelon on the end, “This is an infected watermelon. It doesn’t seem bad right now, but it will soon look like it,” he glanced up at the boy’s emotionless face that reminded him of Rei ( _ weird _ ), “It could be salvaged. I could trim the stem here,” he traced a circle around it, “but that could agitate it and cause it to spread faster and affect many other melons.” He glanced up at Shinji once again, but this time the boy seemed to be trying to hide his agitation. “But the easiest way to deal with this would be to cut the vine close to the root. It would kill this melon and waste it, yes, but there are plenty more.” He looked at Shinji who was not even trying to hide the agitation anymore. Kaji sighed as he stood, “His body was already affected by the Angel, Shinji, you did him a favor-”

“Did I.” Shinji spoke quietly with spite evident in his voice.

“Yes,” Kaji said easily with a light smile, “You never wanted to do this, and I never wanted to be a gardener, but the funny thing about life is is that it never goes your way.” Shinji’s body seemed to release a small amount of tension, “People will always be using you to gain one thing or another, like these watermelons use me. They get something they want or need out of the relationship they have with you,” he lifted a melon, breaking off the stem and taking it to a table where he began to wash and cut it. “Some will demand more from you than others, but-” Kaji was interrupted by the sound of the knife hitting the cutting board, “-they often will give more to you.” Kaji held the slice of watermelon towards Shinji, who took it after he set the bag down onto the ground.

“Thanks,” he said quietly.

“Don’t thank me yet,” he said with a smirk and wink, “I’m not saying it’s everyone, but most will eventually give back.” He took a bite of his slice and looked out towards the Geofront, “I’m not asking you to come back and Pilot,” Shinji froze, “I’m asking you to try and forgive all of us when this is all finished,” they looked at each other, “Promise me?”

Shinji didn’t say anything for a moment. He looked away from Kaji and took a bite of the watermelon. “Kaji,”

“Hm?”

“I’ll forgive everyone on one condition.”

Kaji stifled a chuckle, “Oh yeah? What condition is that?”

“Can you tell me how to be a gardener before I have to leave?”

“Sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE! I was actually really inspired to write and got this out. Will I get another chapter out soon? Who knows... But either way I hope you enjoy it and stuff!


	18. CHAPTER 16: INTROJECTION

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinji returns to Misato's apartment, hoping to have a conversation with Asuka.

CHAPTER 16: INTROJECTION

Shinji walked home after a few hours. Kaji managed to talk him into going back to Misato’s (“You know Asuka would hunt you down for leaving without a word, right?”) to at least say goodbye. It was probably for the best that he went back, afterall he had left his SDAT at the apartment. 

To pass the time, he tried to think of an answer to the several questions that were on his mind at that very moment. Really, it was just one question that needed to be answered that was an amalgamation of the rest that were hanging around his head, giving him no solace. ‘Why did you do it?’ Asuka’s voice spoke to him. Why had he done it? Any of it? Piloting never gave him enjoyment. He never trained for this from an early age as Asuka or Rei had. He was called by his father, a man who had abandoned his only child who had just lost his mother for what? Gendo wasn’t exactly a good man. He helped you if you could be useful to him at the immediate moment.  _ You became useful _ . Deep down, Shinji hoped his father still cared for him, loved him even. But Gendo wasn’t exactly a loving man. He wasn’t exactly a father, either. He didn’t raise Shinji, he raised Rei. 

Was that why? Shinji piloted Unit 01 so Rei wouldn’t have to. Is that why? She was cold, and uncaring sometimes, but she wasn’t like  _ him _ . Rei Ayanami was a girl who was brought up by Gendo Ikari, so of course she wasn’t a ‘people person’. She was a focused and determined individual. Everything was expendable in order to complete the mission. That described Gendo perfectly, but Shinji couldn’t bring himself to actually believe that was how the girl was. She did care, even if she pretended to be indifferent. Rei Ayanami wasn’t exactly the lying type. She wasn’t normal by  _ any _ standards and could barely be compared to normal people, she was raised by his father after all.

Would he become like that? A cold, distant being with eyes set on completing a specific goal at the price of everything?  _ No _ , Shinji knew there was one thing he wouldn’t sacrifice. She was a handful at times (most of the time, actually), but that wasn’t the side he protected. Her laugh, her smile, the beautiful red hair that smelled of strawberries, the cute sundress she’d wear. Her protectiveness, the times when a female student would approach him (sometimes to deliver heartfelt confessions, other times to deliver non-personal documents) and she’d ‘discreetly’ speak to them when he wasn’t around. Sure, it wasn’t the best feeling to have classmates afraid to approach him, but he never minded. It was a sign she cared. 

Asuka Soryuu Langley, the redheaded German beauty of a pilot, was there for him. She had been willing to help him, and he was fully prepared to give everything for her. Except, he didn’t want that help. Why? Maybe it was because he felt weak despite the strength he had gained, and he needed to face his problems alone. Perhaps it was because he didn’t want to trouble anyone. In truth, he didn’t know. He didn’t know if he really wanted to know. It wouldn’t matter the reason at this point. Shinji was just running away from his fears. He was afraid.

Shinji wasn’t exactly afraid of Asuka anymore. He knew her weaknesses (she was quite ticklish along the ribs) and vice versa (he was still ticklish under his armpits), but that wasn’t the only reason. Asuka didn’t want to hurt him, and again vice versa. She’d rather burn the world than allow  _ anything _ to take him away from her. It was evidenced by the looks filled with malice she would shoot at any girl that would  _ dare _ approach  _ her _ Shinji. He stopped getting letters from other girls the day after their first date.

Asuka looked out for him. More than anyone had in his lifetime (anyone that he could remember at least), and he was going to leave without even telling her ‘thank you’. “Just like him…” Shinji muttered as he finally had entered the city limits. His feet hurt, but he wasn’t going to complain. Asuka hated it when he complained, though he couldn’t blame her. It did seem to be an annoying habit of his. Afterall, why complain about something you can’t change?

Shinji Ikari was pulled out of his thoughts by the ringing of the electronic bell of the train’s arrival tone.  _ Already? _ He took a hesitant step forward and stepped onto the platform. It dawned on him that it had only been a few months since he had begun piloting. Not only that, it wasn’t too long ago that he was boarding this same line to leave and never pilot again. He pushed his body forward, his heart beginning to race, for what reason he did not know. 

It would be ten minutes of continued self reflection, running over the same old ground, before he would arrive before the door to Misato’s apartment. He raised his hand to knock at the door.  _ Just knock _ . His body refused. His heart was beating faster with every moment that he stood motionless.

“Shinji?”

The boy in question turned his head and found his heart hasten somehow. Asuka Souryuu Langley stood before him. He opened his mouth to speak, wanting more than anything in the world to say three words. He felt tears threatening to reveal themselves, burning the back of his eyes. Again and again he tried to form words, but he felt the lump in his throat grow.

“Would you like to come in?” Shinji simply nodded, being unable to do anything else with his body.

Asuka unlocked the door and led him inside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So,” Asuka began from the opposite end of the table, “what brings you back here? I thought you were court martialed?”

“I was,” Shinji looked down into his lap, “I-I came back to talk to you.”

“About… about what?” Asuka asked after a moment.

“I…” Shinji stopped. What did he come here to tell her? The whole way he thought about how he felt about her, but not of what to say. He knew what he should say, but he also knew what he wanted to say. “I… I don’t know…” Shinji said quietly after contemplating for a moment. 

“Really?” Asuka spoke harshly.

“Yeah?” Shinji laughed awkwardly as he stole a glance of Asuka. Her face was hard: brow furrowed and eyes narrowed. Shinji knew that look. He answered incorrectly. He looked down once again, “I’m sorry-”

“For what?” The aggression in her voice was building with each moment. Before Shinji could respond Asuka stood abruptly, and violently, “You’re sorry that you have to leave? Sorry that you were going to leave and just  _ not tell me _ ?” Each step she took her voice grew in anger. Shinji realized at that moment why his heart was beating so much before the door opened. “You  _ knew  _ that I wouldn’t see you again. You  _ knew  _ that and were seriously going to leave without saying a  _ single word  _ to  _ anyone _ ?” She stood above him now, “You’re  _ selfish _ , Ikari.”

“What?” Shinji finally turned his head to look at her. “M-me? Selfish?”

“Yes,  _ you _ !” Asuka slammed her hands down onto the table. She leaned in and yelled, “You just didn’t want to hurt yourself by having to say goodbye,” she lowered her head and added quietly, “you didn’t care how  _ we _ felt…”

“I’ve always cared about you-”

“THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU TALK TO ME FIRST?” The redhead roared. Shinji tried to speak, but he felt the familiar lump in his throat and the tears beginning to sting his eyes. Asuka stood, turned and began to walk away.

“Wait-” Shinji reached out, grabbing her hand to stop her before she whipped around and the smack rang throughout the apartment. 

“Get. Out. I don’t want to see you anymore.”

Shinji remained frozen for a moment before he quietly stood, grabbed his bag, and left for the exit.

“W-wait, Shinji, I’m sorry-”

The door slammed shut, leaving Asuka in the silent apartment. Shinji didn’t turn back to hear her beginning to cry. He didn’t want to. There wasn’t much point in his mind. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, you know how I said I was wanting to update by the weekend last weekend? Yeah, college has been kicking my ass so do not expect a regular update schedule, and for that I do apologize. I'm going to be honest, I'm going to try and finish this soon, but if the past is any count 'soon' will become 'a few months'. I'm going to try to get another chapter out today, but no promises. Please comment, it restores my HP every time I read one! Until next time!


	19. CHAPTER 17: RECOGNITION

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misato awaits the return of the pilot she cares for.

CHAPTER 17: RECOGNITION

Misato sat in silence, watching the gargantuan machine. It was motionless, practically lifeless. It was unnerving to say the least. Its eyes were one of the worst parts for her. Misato stared into them and she knew it was alive, watching her. Mocking her? Judging her?

The major didn’t know what to do. Nobody did, really. Just one month ago Shinji had entered Unit 01 to fight the Fourteenth Angel and subsequently became one with the machine. Misato kept replaying the moment over and over within her mind. Unit 01 flying from the ground, the two creatures landing, the arm being torn off, the Eva’s berserk and subsequent screech (roar?), the Angel being ripped limb from limb, and eventually the creature being devoured. It horrified everyone, needless to say. It horrified Asuka especially. 

Misato was worried about the once fiery girl as the all-too-familiar flame had now disappeared and was replaced with a cold sadness that Misato found heartbreaking. She’d never seen such energy and hope die out so quickly. One moment the girl had burst into the headquarters calling out to the boy she loved.  _ Hell, she wouldn’t shut up about it, ‘Shinji I love you now come out so I can kiss you!’ _ Misato exhaled a laugh through her nose. If Shinji was actually okay, she’d be embarrassed about the whole thing, threatening people about speaking of it. Except-

Except Shinji wasn’t okay. He was trapped inside of an Evangelion. His body was liquified into LCL, all except for his arm. It was just gone. Everything of his was gone, somehow. It made no sense. Though, he  _ was _ a pilot of a manmade Angel, so of course nothing made sense.  _ Four hundred percent… _

Misato looked away from the beast and down to the suit she still held against her breast. She couldn’t look at Unit 01 and refer to it as a machine anymore, not after its encounter with the Fourteenth Angel. Its movements, its actions, everything that happened after the reactivation was nothing short of animalistic. The armour being shed certainly didn’t help, revealing a twisted smile and a watchful eye. 

Misato wanted to be there, wanted to wait for Shinji to leave the machine. He was abandoned, not just by his father but by everyone, wasn’t he? Misato never listened to him, Ritsuko never did, Asuka never did, Rei never did, Gendo never did. 

She wouldn’t leave him, never again. “Come back to me, Shinji… please…” 

A disgusting sound came to her ears. She turned to find a familiar boy who was fully naked and whole. Misato wouldn’t notice the boy’s new addition to his body, but instead would bring the limp body into her arms and cried both tears of joy and sadness. 


	20. CHAPTER 18: TRAUMA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinji meets the Fifth Children and he looks attempts to push his trauma down deeper into his heart.

**CHAPTER 18: TRAUMA**

It had been a while for Shinji. It had been a very long time since he had stared out over the city like this. Since the Fourteenth Angel’s attack, Asuka had lost her ability to pilot, Rei had almost died, and Tokyo-3 had been practically demolished. All that was left now was another lake, another crater filled by the nearby ocean. The spot he stood at now was where Misato took him not long after he had arrived, and it was where he had taken Asuka after their first date. It was painful to remember, now. He looked out towards the wreckage that was the city.

Kensuke and his family moved away after losing their homes to the excessive damage. Asuka had run away after she found out she couldn’t pilot Unit 02 anymore. Misato was gone more and more these days after Kaji had disappeared. 

“I’m alone,” He said to himself upon the realization. He was only called by anyone when he needed to pilot anymore. Shinji looked at his right arm with utter disdain. It was an Angel’s arm, the Fourteenth’s to be precise. It was a part of him now, like it or not. He couldn’t part with it. He tried.

The commander had halted attempts at doing so, mentioning something about ‘a price to pay for progress’. “ _ Bastard… _ ” 

“Who is?”

Shinji snapped his head to the right, startled by the sudden presence of another person. It was a boy, sitting on a piece of a building that was brought crumbling down by Shinji’s hand, no doubt. He had white soft hair, cascading down gently, slightly covering his eyes. His eyes were similar to Rei’s, a red hue that was less piercing than the girl’s and somehow more genuine. He wore a similar outfit to the pilot, clean black slacks that fit the boy perfectly and a white shirt that was tucked-in. 

The boy gave a warm, gentle smile, “Sorry, I should properly introduce myself, I’m Kaworu Nagisa, I’m the Fifth Children.”

“You’re a pilot?” Shinji asked dumbly. 

“That’s right,” Kaworu paused to examine the Third Children, “so are you going to answer me, Shinji?”

“Answer you what?” Shinji cocked his head to the side before a realization struck, “Wait! How do you know my name?” 

“Who doesn’t?” Kaworu laughed, “You’re the most famous pilot there is! You’re the talk of the organization.” 

“What organization?” Shinji asked carefully.

“We can talk about them later,” Kaworu waved his hand, as if to brush the topic off of an invisible table, “for now I want to hear about who you were talking about.”

Shinji cocked his head to the other side, “You want to listen to me complain about something you don’t even know about?” he raised his eyebrow, “Why?”

“Because, you’re important and any problem that plagues you is just as important.”

Shinji straightened his head and narrowed his eyes while he crossed his arms, “And if I don’t want to talk about them?”

“Then we can stand here and take in the beautiful sunrise,” Kaworu turned his head to the horizon, “You know the saying, ‘silence is golden’.” 

Shinji followed the example set by the silver haired boy and turned towards the city. It took the boy a moment to see the beauty in it all. Looking past the crumbled rubble strewn throughout the city, he could see it. The way the sun hugged everything in its path with warmth and light, shining hope into the darkness. “Uh, yeah, I guess it is.”

Kaworu turned to look at the boy’s profile, “I’m glad you have hope in your heart, still.” 

“Uh…” Shinji turned towards the boy, “thanks?” 

Kaworu laughed, “You’re very welcome, Shinji!” It was a hearty and genuine laugh. It wasn’t at Shinji, more aimed towards the awkwardness he was carrying. Shinji felt the corners of his lips being pulled into a smile. Once the two were done laughing, Kaworu hopped off the concrete ruin and landed next to Shinji, “Well, would you mind walking me to the headquarters? I am new here after all,” Kaworu continued after he stood up and wiped the dust from his landing off his slacks, “and I would appreciate getting to know each other better, would you like to?” 

Shinji thought about it for a moment before giving a curt nod.

“Well, alright then, lead the way!” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shinji headed towards the showers, knowing fully well how late it was and knowing that he would be getting back to Misato’s apartment far too late. He felt a tap on his shoulder, turning to find the source provided him the sight of Kaworu’s eager smile,  _ A bit too eager… _ “Oh, hey Kaworu, did you need something?”

“Need’s a bit of a strong word,” Kaworu strode to the pilot’s side, “but it fits our needs as of right now. I wanted to speak to you some more.” 

Shinji raised a brow, “Well, I’m on my way to the showers now if you want to talk, but I can’t promise much conversation.”

“That’s fine,” Kaworu smiled contently, “only as long as you’re okay with it.” 

The two made their way to the showers in silence. There was silence between them for a while until Kaworu broke the ice, “So, Shinji, you always wait this late to leave HQ?” 

“No,” Shinji responded coldly. 

“Ah, I see,” Kaworu nodded sagely, “you’d rather stay here since there is nothing for you there except for a bed,” Shinji turned his head and looked at the boy as if his mind had been invaded, “one you hardly sleep in anymore, am I correct?” Kaworu turned to meet Shinji’s gaze, waiting for the confirmation. Shinji nodded slowly in response. “Well, I think you’re a very lucky fellow, having a home to go back to,” Kaworu started to rub his limbs, “not everyone has somewhere to go to that is safe, a place where they aren’t judged for their looks-” Shinji raised his right hand and stared at it as if it was mentioned by name and wanted to hear the conversation for itself, “-or their attitudes or past mistakes, am I right?” 

Shinji only numbly nodded. Kaworu took the invitation, “Well, what might be keeping you from going there?” Shinji remained silent. “Talking about this stuff is difficult, I understand. The human heart is indeed fragile like glass, yours especially.” 

“You think I’m fragile?” Shinji laughed. 

“Yes,” Kaworu rubbed his feet, “you believe if you were to start to talk about one thing that ails your mind all of it would come spilling out, like the water from the faucet of a sink.” Kaworu leaned back, “A small drop from a cloud of rain is the prelude to the crashing waves of a flood, is it not?”

“It is…” Shinji nodded. 

“A rain cloud can hold lots of water, Shinji,” Kaworu grabbed his right hand and held it gingerly, “but not forever. A dark, heavy cloud blocks out all the sun’s light, and all the water stored in a cloud prevents the dark cloud from moving onward.”

The lights shut off at that moment, leaving the duo in darkness. Kaworu still held Shinji’s hand, as if to say ‘I want you to talk to me’. Shinji took a deep breath, “I don’t want to talk about it here…” and pulled his hand out of the silver haired boy’s grasp.

“Because this isn’t a home, this is a place where you’ll get judged for opening your heart?” Kaworu suggested. Shinji stood and began to towel himself off.

“Yes,” the answer came as a quiet whisper, as if he was afraid someone would overhear the tiny admittance of weakness.

Kaworu stood and replicated the boy’s actions, “Well, what if you stayed in the room they have me set up in?” Shinji looked at him with suspicion, to which Kaworu shook his head and chuckled, “I mean to talk, somewhere where no one will judge you, afterwards you can and should return to your own bed.” Kaworu dressed himself. Before leaving he turned and continued his offer, “If not now you can any other night you may feel comfortable with accepting my offer, just let me know beforehand.” And with that, he left Shinji to contemplate his next actions in the dark.

Shinji thought about it. Nobody had touched him without an environmental protective suit on since he came out of Unit 01. They regarded him as a dangerous creature that was toxic and disgusting, except Kaworu. He didn’t look at him like he was some creature, he looked at him as he was: a boy who had been hurt so many times that he was barely being held together anymore. He dressed quickly and practically sprinted down the hall to catch up to the boy. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shinji stood at the all too-familiar spot. The world was quiet. Shinji looked across the water, remembering the day’s events all too well. He was now alone, he killed his last friend. He tried to convince himself that he had to, that it was him or humanity, but something prevented him from releasing the guilt. The boy’s last words hung with him, “One must die and one must live. No victory, no defeat. The survivor will carry on the fight. It is our destiny…” the pause, then the final two words before his life was ended, “Thank you.” 

Shinji felt the tears fall down his cheeks. He felt himself fall to the ground. He felt himself at home again. He was cold.


	21. THE MAN WHO SOLD THE WORLD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Oh no, not me  
> I never lost control  
> You're face to face  
> With the man who sold the world"  
> -David Bowie, the song The Man Who Sold The World

CHAPTER 19: THE MAN WHO SOLD THE WORLD

Mari watched the large machine pulled onto the ship. “So,” she said to nobody in particular, “we finally got the bastard, huh?” 

“Yeah.” Mari looked over her shoulder to find the angriest person she’d ever known, Asuka Shikinami Langley. “Now, we have only a few left to eliminate before we get justice.”

“Yeah, you ready to see him?” Mari asked with her patent smug smirk.

Asuka walked past her without a word. Mari shrugged and followed. They arrived at the spot at the spine of the Evangelion. It was old, damaged. Rust ate away at the edges of the armour, and it was scraped and scratched all over. It was caked in a layer of red dust. Mari looked it up and down. It didn’t seem like it should be that damaged, after all the Eva wasn’t meant to rust or get damaged. Dust shouldn’t have caked it, but it did. 

Then, the pod was opened and the LCL spilled out and poured out over the deck. It reeked, far stronger a stench than any other old LCL. Then the man was pulled out. His hair was long, and it was messy, plastered to his face by the liquid. The boy they expected to find wasn’t there, instead there was a young man with an overgrown beard and hair that reached his shoulders, but the suit he wore was unmistakable. The blue and white colours could only belong to the Man Who Sold The World, Shinji Ikari. As he slowly began to awake, the security forces roughly dragged his limp body from the pod and began to take him away to the brig.

  
Mari just couldn’t shake one thing that made her uneasy.  _ Shinji never lost his arm, so what the hell is with his right one? _ “This is going to be a long day…” Mari whined as she began to follow the aggressive soldiers further into the ship, whistling the theme to one of her favourite David Bowie songs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end of part one. Part two will take a while to write, but I hope you enjoy this for now. There are some holes here, but they will be covered in part two. Thank you all so much for sticking with me on this journey, I appreciate you all for supporting me and reading this. I know this wasn't the best written at the beginning, but your support gave me the strength to carry on and finish this. I'll see you all later. If you want to read my other fic, it's called Teenage Wasteland and it is in The Owl House fandom and set in the world of Death Stranding. I'd appreciate it if you take a look at it and give your opinions on it. Anyways, thank you all again and I'll see you next time.


	22. !!!Author's Note!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little note that's important!

Hey there you peeps! I'm proud to announce my sequel to this story, "Across The Universe". I aim to complete the story I began while also fixing several issues and mistakes I made when originally writing this story, primarily the rushed ending. I hope you will enjoy the sequel as much as the first part, and hope to see you there! Updates will be on the slower side for a short while, but once I complete and stock up on a few chapters I hope to have a MUCH more consistent update schedule. In the meantime, check out some of my other works, please! I enjoy writing, and at the beginning I wasn't really sure if I wanted to write this story as I was worried nobody would like my writing or style of story. I was proven very wrong! I thank each and every one of you that have read my story, left kudos, and given me comments to help improve my writing, improve my story, and kept me writing the entire time. I hope to see all of you in the next part! 

Special thanks to the following!

~ **chemicalflashes**

Before I began writing this story, I read some of their stories and enjoyed their writing immensely! When they gave me the first comment I would ever receive, and that comment be extremely kind and motivational it made me realize that people enjoyed my writing and that I needed to continue it! Thank you, **chemicalflashes** , I thank you for your support!

~ **grommile**

Another amazing writer on here that I had the pleasure of viewing their work. Their support was greatly appreciated along with general advice on certain things to work on and fix that certainly didn't go unappreciated. Thank you greatly, **grommile** , for reading and supporting my work!

~ **tomdj1701**

A regular reader of this story who made sure to always leave a nice comment that helped me push on through writer's block and continue the story further. They helped me appreciate my own writing even when I thought it was below average in quality. Not only that, but they were helpful in making me see errors in my story through their comments, and were vital to my writing. Thank you, **tomdj1701** , I enjoy your support and hope to give you more enjoyable stories!

~ **BloodStasis**

A reader who helped me keep up inspiration and helped make my writing feel validated. Thank you, **BloodStasis** , I hope to see you again!

~ **Mazinkaiser04**

Another reader that has filled me with validation and inspiration. Thank you, **Mazinkaiser04** , I hope you enjoy part two!

~ **Devin**

Someone who's comment was missed by me for so long, they gave me a compliment in my earliest days of writing and have made me extremely happy to have noticed it! I apologize for not answering sooner! Thank you, **Devin** , I hope to hear from you again!

Again, I'd like to thank you all for reading this and hope to see all of you again in "Across The Universe"!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I hope you enjoyed! I'll try to update when I can, so it will likely be irregular updates. But, if you enjoyed, leave a Kudos! If you didn't, leave a comment on how I can improve!


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